No, no- Fairy godmother! GodMOTHER
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Roxy was having a fairly OK day until her boyfriend decided to dress up in drag and glitter. The things that idiot would do... He was very lucky it was very charity, otherwise she'd have killed him. You know, in the good sense. May include other one-shots of this pairing, completely my own :)
1. Fairy Godmother

**My own characters, just a bit of fun.**

* * *

Charlie had organised a Christmas pantomime for the children's hospital this year. Roxy was all for him being nice and friendly, but why was he such an idiot? When the kindly middle-aged lady playing the fairy godmother fell ill, Charlie was quick and:

"I'll do it! I'll be the fairy godmother! I'll put on a dress, I don't care!"

"You could be a fairy godfather." Liam suggested, tapping his pen repeatedly on his ever-present clipboard.

"No, no. Fairy god_mother_." Charlie insisted. Claire and Becky from the stylist group sidled over and started taking measurements and giggling to each other.

"We'll have to alter the dress a bit and, um, you, but-"

"Do _not_ encourage him!" Roxy ordered fiercely, shooing them away.

"No!" Charlie protested childishly. "Make me pretty!"

"Are you _sure_ he's not bi?" Liam quizzed, smiling bemusedly.

"Oh, I don't know." Roxy sighed, running her hands through her hair irritably. "It's _Charlie_. Unless it's got flashing lights and sirens, it's a bloody mystery!"

"Charlie, are you bi?"

"Liam. Just because a guy wants to get in touch with his feminine side does _not_ make him bi. Or gay for that measure."

"We know you're not gay; you've got a girlfriend." Charlie smiled sweetly at Roxy, cheekily blowing a kiss her way. Roxy rolled her eyes- there was no changing his mind. "How on _earth_ did you get a girlfriend?"

"Femininity, my dear Liam. They like a guy who'll cook and help with the housework and not leave the toilet seat up." The last bit was accompanied by a pointed look. Liam grumbled some very choice words, telling the stylist team to be brutal with their work. "Go crazy." He smirked.

"But not too crazy. I just had my nails done." Charlie waggled his fingers at them, making them laugh.

* * *

Roxy returned half an hour later, hot chocolate in one hand and a blueberry muffin in the other. It took her a while longer than it should have to locate her boyfriend. When she did, she wished she hadn't.

He was quite happy tottering about in ridiculously comical high heels that glittered and clomped as he moved. The dress was just as shiny, very elaborate, blue and white silk and shimmering veils on the skirts. They had added padding in certain places to make him more womanly and highlighted his features with glitter and a curly blonde wig. "Zap!" He declared upon spotting her, shaking the plastic magic wand with the star-shaped tip at her. "I make for a very good woman, don't you think?" He struck a pose and Roxy decided she had the most stupid, but the best boyfriend ever. "Why are you looking at me like that? Something in my teeth?"

"You're an idiot."

"I thought we'd already established that." He wobbled, arms flailing. Liam, Claire and Becky steadied him and he laughed. "So, what d'you think?" He spread his arms and twirled, unbalancing himself again.

"I think you're an idiot."

"I agree with you," Liam grinned, "but he's one hell of a guy if he's happy enough to mug himself off for charity."

"I'm not mugging myself off! I wanted to be a pretty lady!" Roxy choked on her hot chocolate, coughing and spluttering. Michele hit her on the back helpfully while Charlie waved his wand. "Bibbity bobbity boo! Abracadabra! Wingardium LeviosAR!"

"It's Wingardium LeviOsa, not LeviosAR." Roxy wheezed. Charlie laughed victoriously.

"You did it! Now, my faithful subjects! Show time!"

"Do you even know your lines?" Liam laughed, straightening the blonde wig.

"I memorised the whole script."

"Saddo." Roxy coughed. Charlie nodded in agreement, but he was giving her a sarcastic, yet accusing look. "What?"

"I wouldn't have memorised it if you'd agreed to spontaneous date night."

"I was ill!"

"Stupid humans and your infections." Roxy lobbed the muffin at his head, dislodging the wig.

"Now look what you made me do! That was a perfectly good muffin!"

"I'm being bullied! Fairy godmother here, show some _respect_!"

"I'm sorry; a guy in drag does _not_ get my respect."

"Sexist!"

"It's not sexist, it's you!"

"Sexist! Charlie-ist! BULLY!"

"I will hurt you." He responded by waving his wand and then he laughed. "I mean it!"

"You're cute when you're mad."

"Well watch out- she's about to get freaking adorable." Liam joked. "Now, go. You're on in five."


	2. Kruc poor?

**Just another extra little bit, written for the spontaneous ****comment my friend came out with.**

* * *

Roxy regretted taking Charlie shopping instantly. He didn't want anything on her list- he had made his own and had presented it to her as though it were as valuable as knighthood.

"You want a monkey, a pot of gold and a… kruc poor?"

"What?" He snatched the list back. "Blue spoon! You spoon!"

"_I'm_ the spoon?!" She whacked his arm and grabbed the scrap of paper. "At least I can write clearly."

"It was _crayon!_ I did my best!"


	3. Ed Sheeran, cake and seagulls

"And where have you been?" Roxy asked, setting aside her magazine. Charlie didn't reply, continuing to dance and bop through the living room and to the kitchen. Roxy made to scold him for ignoring her when she saw his headphones. Sighing, she reluctantly got up from her comfy spot and marched after him. Even with his so-called advanced mutant senses, he didn't realise she was there until she yanked his headphones away.

"No, my Ed Sheeran!" He complained, staring at her as though she had just brutally torn his topsy-turvy world from under his feet and made everything _normal_. "Roxaaaanneeee..." He whined, slouching his shoulders in defeat.

"Charliiiiieeeee..." She mocked, swinging the headphones quickly. His eyes followed them for a moment and then he swayed away, hand on his head.

"Ugh, I'm dizzy now."

"That's your own fault."

"_I_ wasn't making a lasso out of the Ed Sheeran dispensers!"

"_What_?" The headphones wobbled to a standstill as she stared at him incredulously. "_Ed Sheeran_ _dispensers_?"

"'Headphones' is a far too common phrase for my Ed."

"Charlie, how many times do we have to go over this?" She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes. She counted to ten. Took a deep breath. Looked back at him. "Ed Sheeran doesn't know you exist." He wailed and clamped his hands over his ears.

"_Why_ _would_ _you_ _say_ _that_?" He held her gaze, sticking his bottom lip out in a childish sulk, hoping to gain some sympathy. Roxy regarded him calmly, trying to ignore the jabs at her mind. She had introduced him to the singer-song writer, so it was her own fault that he was so obsessed. She was pretty sure he had a crush on Ed, but that would mean he was bi and he had constantly insisted he wasn't, which was- unsurprisingly- hard to believe.

"Here," She held the headphones out to him and he beamed, kissing her lightly in gratitude.

"I knew you couldn't deny the Charlie-face."

"Only because it's horrifying." He gaped at her and she revelled in the reaction, secretly wishing he would pull the 'Charlie-face' again as it was kind of adorable.

"Fine. I'll go and ask Liam, Claire and Becky to make me pretty again."

"No!" She grabbed his arm and hauled him back. "Behave!"

"I am demanding compensation!"

"You've got your _Ed Sheeran dispensers_ back! What more could you possibly want?"

"Hungry."

"Cake?" He gasped excitedly and clapped happily, like the child he was. Roxy cast her eyes to the heavens, concealing a smile. He loved ginger cake almost as much as Ed Sheeran. She got to blame someone else for the cake though- one of his old friends from school; she used to feed him cake every day, giving him two whole packets for Christmas. Charlie had said that added 'texture' to the underneath of his Christmas tree. Roxy had said he was weird.

So, while he sat on the balcony, listening to Ed Sheeran through his iPod speakers and happily munching on ginger cake, Roxy got to pelt sea gulls with bread. "No!" Charlie protested once he returned from Charlie-land and registered what she was doing. "My brethren!"

"Charlie, _all_ animals are your brethren."

"Yes, but seagulls are special to me."

"Really?" He nodded, smiling. "Dare I ask why?"

"Oh, no. This one's OK. We were on a school trip to some beach somewhere and these horrible snot-faces in my class were all," He deepened his voice and raised his arms slightly, clearly mocking a wannabe-macho thug he had known, "Imma poke that old lady with a stick, look how tough and funny I am. Man, Imma bust yo' kneecaps. Don't give me that look," He complained in his normal voice. "They actually said that. And some other stuff, like 'Check out my mad skills, bruh!' and 'Get on out ma grill, ugh, voice break."

"Voice break?" Roxy repeated, bewildered. Charlie nodded, returning to his cake. "What?"

"Well, every time they squeaked, they'd have to announce it in a stupidly deep voice in case the rest of us hadn't noticed."

"Riiight..." A seagull nestled on Charlie's knee and cawed. Roxy cringed away automatically- seagulls were evil chip thieves. Charlie had no problem though.

"Jimmy, my bro!" He petted the seagull on the head, gaining a coo of satisfaction. "Found me again, huh?" The bird fluttered his wings and chirped. Roxy hadn't known a seagull to _chirp_. "I know, right?" Charlie agreed. "But Roxy won't let me." He cast her a cheeky look, before whispering-not-at-all-discreetly; "She's just jealous that I make a better woman than her."

"Charlie, I swear-"

"Don't tell her I said that though. She might try and 'kill' me."

"_Did you just use air quotes_?"

"No." Charlie replied calmly, looking her innocently in the eye. "I would never air quote you." Roxy leant forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Good." She tightened her hold on him and Jimmy the seagull flapped his wings in protest, sounding off angrily. Charlie mocked choking and dying and then he went limp against her shoulder.

"You're supposed to do mouth-to-mouth." He hissed when she didn't react, not opening his eyes.

"No, I prefer the Heimlich manoeuvre." Before Charlie gathered what was going on, she was trying to break his ribs.

"Ow! My womanly figure, you're breaking it!"

"What womanly figure?"

"Are you calling me fat?" He marvelled, mocking a hurt look.

"I'm calling you _obese_."

"Oh... my feelings... my dreams... it's all going dark! No, wait... a light... Nana? Is that you?" He 'died'. Roxy pushed him aside.

"Oh my god, you're _such_ an idiot!"

"The term, my dearest subject, is _Drama_ _Queen_." Jimmy hopped about on the rail, bobbing his head in agreement. "Which makes you the Drama King!" He announced happily.

"_Did you just call me a man_?"

"No, I called you a king. You've been promoted from 'subject' to 'king'. What a grand day for England!"

"A grand day for England would be ridding you from all things idiotic."

"I am all things idiotic." He replied, not missing a beat and deadly serious. Then he smiled. "And all that is not." He added. "I am nothing and everything and your boyfriend. Judging by the look on your face though, I don't see that one lasting. So..." He dragged the word out for effect, rolling his eyes along some horizontal line only he could see and then up at her. "Imma marry you."

"Wh-wha- _what_?"

"As soon as I can, I'm going to make you a true Drama King!"

"_You just called me a guy_!"

* * *

**This one was written because my friend reckons Charlie is him, even though I wrote Charlie's character WAY before meeting him. This was originally to make my friend feel more intertwined with Charlie- Ed Sheeran, the cake and the seagulls are all references to him. **


	4. Socks

It had snowed quite heavily during the night before and a bitter wind accompanied the brave snowball fighters on their quest to take their neighbours' fort.

Charlie, being Charlie, dived right into the fun and games. Roxy helped him build a snow-dragon, but drew the line at a snowball fight. No amount of wheedling from Charlie would pull her away from a lovely hot chocolate under her favourite fleecy blanket watching good old Friends. "Oh, you spoilsport!" Charlie protested childishly. He was distracted by a snowball to the back of the head and with a great merry laugh, he was off. It was like dealing with a toddler. A _very_, _extremely_, _immensely _hyperactive _toddler_.

He trudged in an hour later, stamping his feet on the doormat and sighing at the blissful warmth of their flat.

"I thought mutants didn't feel the cold?"

"Then you are s-s-s-solely mis-s-taken." He shivered. "It's t-t-t-too cold; I feel like I've turned reptilian." Roxy didn't even bother. He stumbled off to shower and warm up, cheekily stealing a pair of her fluffy thermal socks and examining them proudly. When she didn't notice, he held his foot up in her face. "Yes, they suit me." He declared.

"Butterflies." He nodded, grinning. "Reptilian?" She prompted.

"Very much so." He said seriously. "I think I have frostbite on my spleen."

"Stop quoting films- why did you get so cold? I thought you mutants were eternally warm."

"No. Fire mutants, yes. Common mutant scum like me? No." Roxy stared at him expectantly. "Fire mutants. Always warm. Too warm in the summer, but lovely and toasty in the winter. Non-fire mutants, such as your amazingly charming boyfriend here," he gestured at himself, "do not have that gift-curse thing. We're OK in the summer and don't feel the cold as much as you humans, but we can still got cold."

"Right." She glanced down. "_Why _have you got my socks?"

"Because my socks don't have pretty patterns. They just have holes."

"Well, how else are supposed to put them on?"

"Yes, very funny."


	5. Sandwich thief

Amelia, Carly and Eden were sat about the table, their homework books ignored before them and the chocolate spread sandwiches the centre of attention.

"Say what you like about Dad," Carly started.

"He knows how much chocolate a girl likes." Amelia finished. Eden nodded in agreement, wiping chocolate spread from her bottom lip. "It's a shame boys can't _all _understand our chocolate needs."

"Give them a chance to catch up." Carly laughed. "Boys aren't as clever as us girls."

"I mean," Eden continued, helping herself to another sandwich, "it's not exactly rocket science to put the toilet seat down or pick socks and dirty underwear off the floor."

"Boys are such slobs." Amelia concluded, her sisters nodding gravelly.

"Oh my gosh, I know right?" Charlie dropped into the empty seat and nabbed a sandwich. "Absolutely _filthy _creatures, boys." He shook his head pitifully, oblivious to his sisters' incredulous looks. "And quite silly too; there is a reason women live longer than men."

"Charlie?"

"Mm?" He hummed around his sandwich.

"You're one of those boys."

"I am?" He glanced down. "Huh. How strange." Charlie regarded them all for a moment, shrugged it off and finished his sandwich. "So, any gossip for me then?"

"Yeah. Our brother just discovered he was a boy."

"Really?" Charlie gasped excitedly, bouncing forward in his seat to place his elbows on the table and resting his head on his hands. "Do tell!"

"He's a bit of an idiot."

"Slow, sometimes."

"But I suppose he's alright."

"For a boy." They said together.

"Ooh, I bet he's absolutely _gorgeous_." Charlie sighed dreamily, acting more camp than usual. His sisters dissolved into giggles and proceeded to good-naturedly insult him in third person. Charlie found it all very amusing and kept trying to draw extra bits from them, trying to trick them into indirectly complimenting him.

"The only good thing we can say about him..." Carly mused.

"Which _is _very helpful..." Amelia added.

"He knows when to leave." Eden finished. All three of them gave him very pointed looks, cheeky smirks dancing in their eyes. Charlie inspected each of them individually.

"Fine," And- with a hearty, triumphant laugh- he took their sandwiches.

* * *

**Amelia, Eden and Carly are triplets and they're the second to youngest in the family. Charlie has nine other siblings; he's the eldest. I know the summary for this fic said about the Charlie-Roxy pairing, but I wanted to add a bit where Charlie's interacting with his siblings. Hope you don't mind! And two updates on this one today because each is so short :P **


	6. Jewat

**This one was my friend's idea, so if it's a bit :/ blame him, OK? :D**

* * *

Roxy was doing her best to listen to Leon as he fixed her computer. She had no idea what he was on about, but seeing as his brother wouldn't help, he had jumped at the chance to prove to his sister he didn't break _everything_. "I've got a spare ram at home; I'll bring it over next time and-"

"We don't want sheep."

"What?" Roxy and Leon frowned over at Charlie. He was reclining on the sofa, DS in hand and an ignorant look on his face. "Sheep?" Leon repeated.

"Yes. Ram."

"Oh!" It dawned on Roxy and she started laughing.

"Since when did you have a sheep anyway, Leon?" Charlie asked, eyeing his girlfriend bemusedly.

"I don't-"

"Charlie, you're supposed to be the tech genius!" Roxy snickered. "He's talking about my computer, not _sheep_."

"Well, how am I supposed to know _that_? Honestly, woman, move your fat backside." Roxy gaped at him. Leon edged away. "With a 'ph' not a Jew."

"Wait what?"

"Wait what indeed." Charlie agreed, leaning forward to peer around her. He saw the mangled computer and sat back. "I meant to say 'f', but I was thinking 'g' and then I said 'Jew', so..." He shrugged and smiled like this settled everything.

"So, she's Jewat." Leo said helpfully. Charlie realised the trouble he was now in.

"_Fat. Backside_." Roxy growled. Leon decided he wanted a tea and left for the kitchen.

"Aah, Rox." Charlie smiled sweetly. "You know I have nothing but love and the highest respect for you and your backside. Which isn't fat." He added. "At all."

"You _never_ use the f-word to a woman!" She scolded. "Especially your _girlfriend_!" Charlie 'eeep'ed bravely, dropped his DS and ran for his life. "GET BACK HERE!" Roxy charged after him. Leon watched from the safety of the kitchen, whistling lowly.

"He is so dead. So _very_ dead."


	7. How they met

**To Guest- You sound like my friend! He insists he and Charlie are the same person, it's maddening! You know, in a good way :P**

* * *

Roxy only went with Christine because her best friend was buying her food. If it hadn't been for that, she would never have agreed to the bachelor's auction. Yes, OK, there were a few relatively good-looking guys up on the stage, but none of them really took her fancy. Christine was bidding on all of them. She hadn't won yet, which was unlike her. Christine's parents were super-mega-rich and gave their beloved daughter a limitless allowance. If she so wanted, Christine could have all of these boys. Her not getting a single one and not being as disappointed as Roxy would have expected was definitely suspicious.

"Alright, what are you doing?" Roxy asked, trying not to look too amused as her friend slumped back down in her chair. "That was your eighth," she nodded at the young man leaving arm-in-arm with a giggling brunette, "why are you letting them go so easily?"

"Oh, Roxanne-" Roxy winced at her full name. Christine didn't seem to notice, pulling a compact mirror from her small bag and checking her mascara. "I didn't _really _want those men- I was just raising the bid." Her eyes returned to their stage and she beamed, snapping the mirror shut. "But him! My god, he is one _spicy _potato!"

"Why are they always potatoes?" Christine didn't answer, shaking her head slightly and clicking her fingers, briskly diverting Roxy's gaze to the main show. "Potatoes aren't that attractive. Sure, they're alright as chips, but as possible partners? No thank you."

"Shut up, Roxy. Let me be with my delusional ways."

"Now if I did that, the world would be in major jeopardy." Christine said nothing, which meant she was glaring at the back of her friend's head. Roxy wasn't paying attention.

So far, all the bachelors had worn suits and ties, all of them looking prim and proper.

Not this one. He was beaming around at everyone, hands in the pockets of his jeans, red checker shirt open over a clean white T-shirt. She couldn't decide if his eyes were blue or brown from where she was sat, but his hair! It was like he had just rolled out of bed, but it was also styled naturally, as though it was always a mess. And it was _red_. Not ginger or strawberry blonde red, but _red_. Scarlet. He had to be the youngest there, seventeen or eighteen, with very fine, handsome features. He turned slightly to wave at some of the women on the other side of the room and Roxy caught a glimpse of his lean, muscular build.

"Mmm..." Christine hummed dreamily. She too had her eyes on the redhead. "Yes please."

"Chris!" Roxy scolded. "You've said that about three guys so far-"

"Four." She corrected absent-mindedly. "Shush now, I'm basking." Roxy rolled her eyes and faced the front again.

"Bachelor number eleven! Charlie!" The redhead stepped forward to a polite applause, grinning and bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Ladies, get those bids in- this one can cook, clean, relatively good sense of humour-"

"Oy!" Charlie protested good-naturedly. "My sense of humour is _astounding_." He cheekily regarded the commentator, who looked half-annoyed and half-surprised to be interrupted. "Carry on, Gerald, these lovely ladies are paying for a show, not for you to gawk at my amazingly good looks."

"You're such a fathead."

"You clearly have not met my brother."

"Anyway..." Gerald the commentator cleared his throat and continued. "Four brothers, five sisters, Charlie makes the ideal family man and says that his life goal-" Charlie coughed into his fist. "One of his life goals," Gerald corrected, glaring at the bachelor and trying not to smile, "is to have his own little family, isn't that sweet?" He finished sarcastically. "Starting the bid at twenty pounds, any offers?"

"Fifty!" Christine cried immediately.

"Seventy!" Said someone else. Christine glowered in their general direction, raising the bid with a ferocity she hadn't shown earlier that night. Even Charlie seemed to notice as he was looking at her, completely bewildered, but with a lopsided smile.

"Three hundred and seventy!" Christine called. The rest of the room was silent. She had just bumped it up another hundred- no-one else could continue playing.

The hammer Gerald held struck the table.

"Sold to the pretty blonde over there!" He beamed. Charlie bounced off the stage and made his way over.

"Consider this an early birthday present." Christine hissed in Roxy's ear. Before Roxy could register what her friend had said, Christine was gone and Charlie was there.

"Hold on..." He glanced around. "You're not blonde." Up close, Roxy could see that his eyes were a kaleidoscopic mix of brown _and _blue. They surveyed the room again and then returned to her, warm and friendly. He dropped into Christine's vacant seat and smiled. "Ah well. Blondes aren't really my type anyway."

"W-wh-? No, no, I'm sorry. My friend- the blonde- she's been trying to set me up for ages and-"

"Ah." He grinned. "Say no more, say no more. My brother is exactly the same." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and Roxy saw another redheaded boy, slightly younger, sitting with a dark haired girl about the same age. They were both grinning triumphantly. "Those are Leon and Lucy, my younger twin siblings. Don't get too close if you've got valuables, such little so and so's." He shook his head, but was smiling fondly. "Anyhoo, fancy a wander? It's way too hot in here for my liking." Roxy was nodding before she realised what she was agreeing to.

When she found Christine, there was going to be _hell _to pay.

Which was sooner than she thought.

Christine had obviously been lurking by the women's toilets and just happened to saunter out as Roxy and Charlie made their way along the hall.

"Oh, my winnings!" She bopped herself on the head as if she had completely forgotten she had just spent three hundred and seventy pounds on setting her best friend up. "So sorry, I had to go." She held her hand out and Charlie shook it, grinning. Did he ever stop smiling?

"One must always answer the call of nature." He declared. "Not to do so is very drastic." He made a face. "School plays have never been the same for me..." Christine giggled and linked her arm with his. A flitter of hope danced through Roxy, but then she saw her friend's malicious look. She was not escaping this time.

"Roxy's always been good with school plays."

"_Shut up, Christine_." She hissed, glaring at the blonde.

"So modest! Always got the star role, beautiful singing voice."

"Oh really?"

"Christine, isn't your _chaperone _supposed to be here by now? You know, _in the limo that is taking you away_?"

"I'll walk you." Charlie offered. "You did pay three hundred and seventy pounds for me, it's the least I can do."

"Such a gentleman!" Christine gushed, setting off at a quick walk. Roxy trailed behind, giving her friend the opportunity to wink at her and smile.

_This girl_, Roxy thought to herself, _is going to get a slap_. Christine, thankfully, couldn't read minds.

It turned out Charlie was a gentleman. His parents had obviously raised him to respect women more than himself; he offered to hold Christine's tiny bag, he held doors open for them and helped Roxy up without laughing when she twisted her ankle missing a step down the stairs.

"Are you alright?" He asked kindly, offering her his arm to lean on.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She tested her weight on her foot and winced. How come it was her that fell in her flats and not Christine in her skyscraper high heels? Logic was flawed.

"Here," Charlie tucked an arm about her waist and lifted her easily onto level ground.

"Trust it to be you! She's not normally this clumsy." Christine added.

"Oh, that wasn't clumsy. You should see my nan. She'll trip over thin air, that one." Charlie opened the car door for her and, on her insistence, listened to something she had to say for a minute. Roxy tried to listen in, but her friend- for once- was talking quietly.

"Got it?" Christine asked at last.

"Got it." Charlie confirmed. He mimed taking a hat off to her and closed the door. Christine smiled sweetly at Roxy, her eyes gleaming deviously. Then she was gone. "How's that ankle?"

"It'll be alright by tomorrow." Roxy glared at the stairs. "What did I even slip on?"

"My bad, I trail charm and talent." His warm fingers were gently inspecting her ankle. The pain seemed to ebb away. "There." He smiled. "Better?"

"Huh?"

"Stand up." He gave her his arm as support again and, when she put her weight on her foot, there was no pain.

"Wh-? Did you-?" She stared at him. He stared back, his eyes as warm and friendly as ever. "Did you _heal _my ankle?"

"Um, not exactly."

"Are you...?" She glanced over her shoulder to check no-one was listening. "Are you a mutant?" He grimaced.

"Should've said something earlier, right?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry." And he was. She could see it in his face- he looked worried, like she would suddenly run away from him just because he wasn't the same species.

Roxy mentally slapped herself.

"What did you mean _not exactly_?" He looked blank. "About my ankle." She elaborated.

"Oh." His confusion cleared slightly, but he still looked anxious. "I've, um, I've got your bad ankle now."

"You transferred it?" He waved it off. "But... I thought that was dangerous?"

"No, that's just human legend. Mutants aren't _all _scary, you know."

"I know that. But why did you transfer it? It's just a twisted ankle." He shrugged.

"Exactly. Besides, I don't think you'd appreciate it if I gave you a piggy back for the rest of the evening."

"Well, no, but..."

"Charlie!" Two voices rang out. Sprinting towards them were the twins from earlier. Gone were the smiles; in their places were two identical looks of terror.

"What's the matter?" Charlie asked, instantly serious. He held his hands out to the pair of them, catching them both by the arm. The girl- Lucy, was it?- looked dubiously at Roxy, wringing her hands. Her twin brother was fiercely holding Charlie's gaze. "Alright, alright." Charlie said, as if their behaviour made sense. He turned back to Roxy. "I'm _real _sorry," He whipped out a pen and took her by the hand, scribbling something across the back of it carefully, "that's my number. Ring me later and we can sort out the rest of this bachelor thing." He smiled at her, taking his siblings' hands.

"Is everything alright?"

"Hopefully it will be." And with a _crack_, they were gone.

Roxy stared at the spot where they had just disappeared and then down at the number. He had added a smiley face after it, but she had a few doubts- had his siblings run over at that exact moment to pull him away from a bad date? Or was something actually wrong?

She had only known him ten minutes, but had figured 'serious' wasn't one of his usual modes. Gerald had said he was a 'family man'- here was the proof of it.

Telling herself that she spent too much time with Christine, Roxy pulled her keys from her pocket and headed off to the car park. She'd text Charlie tomorrow. If Christine found out her three hundred and seventy pounds worth of winnings and failure to set her best friend up with someone, she would go absolutely bananas. Roxy didn't want to deal with that again- she still had a headache from the last time.


	8. First date

**To ThatFanWarrior- Details are on the way! I've spent the last few days writing some of these chapters, so aren't you lucky? :D **

**Again, apologies in advance for any spelling mistakes- WordPad, evil thing, EVIL.**

* * *

"Sorry, I'm a slow texter. How are you?"

"I'm alright, thank you. Christine is driving me crazy though; badgering me into texting you."

"Well, she did spend three hundred and seventy pounds on me. A bargain, if I'm honest."

"I think it's a rip off."

"Rude!" He protested, his voice a little higher. Then he laughed. "No, you're right. Usually people end up stuck with me- like some unwanted gift. Speaking of, we need to organise this date. Are you free Friday? That's just a polite question- I'm picking you up at seven on Friday, ready or not."

"And where do I have a say in this?"

"You get to pick where we go for dinner."

"Um... I don't know."

"I don't mind where, but I'm veggie, so..."

"You're vegetarian?" He hummed in agreement. "Mutants can be vegetarian?"

"I talk to animals. It's weird to go from a bromance to wolfing down their wings or something."

"Oh."

"It's alright. You can eat meat if you want. I talk to _living_ animals, not dead ones."

"You don't sound happy about it."

"I have issues. Animal rights and all that. So, where are we going Friday? Do I need to book anything?"

"No, nothing fancy-"

"Nope. I've been brought for a small fortune. It's only right the date is a good one."

"It's not a date." Roxy said quickly, feeling her face burn. "It's Christine's infectious madness."

"It's a social gathering involving two people and the possibility of a candle lit dinner in a luxury environment such as that new restaurant that just opened in town that you've wanted to go to for the last month."

"How did you-?"

"Sweetheart. I know these things. Plus... Christine told me."

"Did you just-?"

"Call you 'sweetheart'? Yes. Do you not like it? How about 'princess'? 'Cupcake'? 'Love'?"

"Roxy."

"Oh. Huh." He huffed. "Cold. Snow queen!"

"Queen."

"Aha! So you like that?"

"No."

"Yeah you do." He laughed again. "Right, I'll pick you up at seven on Friday for dinner at that restaurant you've wanted to go to and the name of which I can never remember, your majesty."

"Just go."

"Yes, your highness." He paused. "Do we do the whole 'you hang up'/ 'no, you hang up' thing or-?"

"No, I'm just going to hang up."

"OK!" She could hear his amusement in his voice. "Bye, Roxy! See you Friday!" She hung up. Charlie text her a minute later with a smiley face crying tears of laughter. Roxy sent back a crown and dumped her phone on the sofa for lunch.

* * *

Friday came about a lot quicker than Roxy had intended. Before she knew it, it was five o'clock in the afternoon and Christine was fussing around her, emptying her wardrobe and going through everything in the dressing table to make sure Roxy looked 'absolutely freaking perfect!'

"It's not a _real_ date, Chrissie."

"Of course it is!" Christine babbled, holding up a pair of jeans and frowning. Roxy watched her, arms folded. "Well, if it doesn't start like one, it could _end_ like one. Where's that blue dress I got you for your birthday?"

"In the other room in the cupboard. Keeps it safe." Roxy added at her friend's incredulous look. Christine threw aside the jeans and vanished. She returned with a deep blue dress. Roxy had tried it on, but had never had reason to wear it before. It had a single strap of rich cloth flowing over one shoulder. Where the strap met the material, it melted out into a decent dress that shimmered slightly whenever she moved. It clung to her curves, but flowed out in a knee length skirt from her waist. Christine chucked a pair of opaque tights at her, found some white flats and a fluffy white shawl and then ordered Roxy to sit at the dressing table before changing in the date outfit. "Simple." Roxy stressed as Christine pulled her personal make-up bag from her handbag.

"I'm going for a natural look, but something to bring out the colour in your eyes. Keep still." Roxy sighed, wondering what twisted demon had possessed her to indulge in her friend's insanity.

Christine did Roxy's hair after Roxy had changed. She twisted the curls up into a crocodile clip and then let them all fall over it with strands framing Roxy's face. "Ta da!" Christine exclaimed with a proud flourish. She had done exactly what she had said she would, making Roxy's sapphire blue eyes glow. "He'll be here any minute now, so don't do anything to mess up all my hardwork."

"Yes Mum." Roxy rolled her eyes. Christine flicked her in the shoulder and flounced off to help herself to Roxy's red wine. Roxy examined her reflection. Was it too much? What would Charlie be wearing? Would he like what she looked like?

Roxy shook that last thought away. It was just one date-that-was-not-a-date, so what did it matter?

Her digital clock cliked to 19:00 and the doorbell rang. Christine squealed and rushed for the door. Roxy hesitantly edged from her room, peering around the frame. Christine was talking a million miles an hour to Charlie, who had scrubbed up pretty well. He wore an emerald green shirt open over a white T-shirt and regular black jeans and slightly scuffed trainers. His hair didn't look as messy as Roxy remembered, but it still looked like he had just rolled out of bed on a windy seafront. He _oozed_ calm and collected, smiling and nodding along to Christine's words.

"Roxy!" Christine called in a sing-song voice. She stepped back as she turned to face her friend. Roxy could now see Charlie held a bouquet of white and purple tulips. He smiled when he saw her, his eyes lighting up like someone had set the sun behind them. He presented the flowers to her, still smiling.

"You look good, your majesty." Roxy burned crimson. Christine bit her lip, hopping from foot to foot excitedly. She took the flowers with a squeak of a thank you and hid her face in the petals, breathing in the sweet scent. "Ready to go? Your carriage awaits." He teased playfully.

"I'll, um, I'll just put these in a vase-"

"No!" Christine snatched the flowers away. "I'll do it! You," She jabbed her finger at Roxy, "out!" She ordered fiercely. Roxy and Charlie shared sidelong looks. Christine ushered them both out and slammed the door. "Have fun!" She called.

"Well then..." Charlie said, staring bemusedly at the door. "That's new."

"You're not used to being kicked out a girl's home?" Roxy smiled, pulling her shawl about her. Charlie smirked, humouring her. "What?"

"This might surprise you, but I don't throw myself at every girl I meet. I'm waiting for my Mrs. Right."

"Really?" Roxy marvelled.

"Don't look so surprised- not all guys are selfish jerks." He offered her his arm. "Come on- our reservation is in ten minutes."

"Will we get there in time?" Roxy asked, taking his arm. He smiled reassuringly and patted her hand. She felt her face warm again, but she couldn't look away from his eyes. She wasn't sure if they were brown with blue flecks or blue with brown. Whichever they were, they were warm and friendly and she just felt... grounded. "OK." She found herself saying distractedly. His hand was still on hers. "Take me to my carriage." His eyes shone with mirth.

"Yes, your majesty."

He had booked a taxi for them and it was waiting outside for them. He opened the door for her and made sure she had her belt on before asking the driver to please take them to... "To, um... you know that new restaurant?" The driver nodded. Charlie smiled again- did he ever stop smiling?- "Yeah, that one please."

"Yes sir."

"None of the 'sir' business, my good fellow. Just Charlie." He sat back and put his seatbelt on. "You OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Excellent." He beamed. "I hope this goes OK for you. I can't imagine Christine would react if it didn't."

"Oh, she would only, you know, explode." He laughed, warm and happy. Roxy felt calmer hearing it, her own smile forming. The taxi started moving. Charlie asked if she thought aliens had infiltrated the government. "What? Are you serious?" He nodded, looking amused. "You're a mutant and you're worried about _aliens_?"

"Ah, I see where this is going. Mutants and aliens," He held up his hands as if balancing the two species, "have a bloody history. We've spent milennia keeping them from invading, but they've started to wise up and may be trying to sneak in if they haven't already."

"Aliens are real?"

"Very real."

"Where do they come from?"

"All over. This solar system, many others. Do you think they're here?"

"I don't know." Roxy shrugged. "How would I know?"

"It's tricky." He admitted. "But the general clue to their prescene is when they order for humans and mutants alike to bow down to them."

"But humans and mutants don't always get on."

"I think they want us to wipe each other out."

"Nice."

"This isn't a good thing to talk about, is it?" Roxy hunched her shoulders. "Sorry." He gave a lopsided smile. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Uh... I don't know. The weather? The latest football game? What do guys talk about?"

"I don't know. I'm not like most guys- they like talking about girls they see in really disrespectful ways and I can't handle that." Roxy was torn between questioning him and cooing like Christine sometimes did because he was adorable!

_No_. She didn't just think that, no. _Not at all_.

"So, what do you do when you're not... here?" She finished lamely.

"Lots of things. Painting, helping in charities, talking to animals, helping at home making sure the sibbies are alright-"

"Sibbies?"

"Siblings." He clarified. "You have any?"

"No. How many do you have?"

"Four brothers, five sisters."

"Oh my god!" Charlie grinned.

"I know, it's mad. I wouldn't change it for the world though."

"You a family man then?"

"I like to think I am. It's hard to say you're something good in case people don't believe you or agree with you."

"All those siblings, it's hard to disbelieve or disagree."

"Here we are." The driver said. Charlie gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change. He got out and bounced around the car to open the door for Roxy, offering his hand to help her up.

"Thank you." Roxy smiled. Charlie returned it. He thanked the driver and sent him on his way. He gave her his arm again to hold onto, opening the door to the restaurant for her too. "You're such a gentleman. Or is this a first date only thing?"

"It's polite." He cocked his head to the side, half-smiling. "I thought this wasn't a date?"

"It's not." She blushed.

"I'm just teasing." He squeezed his hand and booked them in. A young water showed them to their table next to the window and gave them menus. "Thank you." Charlie said, bowing his head respectfully to the waiter. Roxy was surveying the table and didn't notice when Charlie pulled out her chair for her. "Are you alright?" He asked when she didn't sit.

"Oh," She sat and he pushed her in gently, "sorry. I was... just lost in thought." She looked back at the table. It was elegantly laid out and three pillar candles glowed softly on a little, gold-plated stool. Places mats, white with bblue floral designs and golden trims, sat before them, the knives and forks wrapped neatly in a matching napkin. "It's fancy here." She said, looking around and absent-mindedly playing with the silky tablecloth. "I knew it would be, but I didn't imagine this."

"It is nice." He agreed. "Not as nice as you, but still nice."

"Real smooth."

"I'm so smooth, I'm a smoothie."

"What?"

"Yes."

"You're a little weird, aren't you?"

"You should meet my family. That will explain why."

"I could imagine why."

"Not if you don't have siblings of your own." He drummed his fingers on the table and then picked up the menu. Roxy did likewise- even the food was fancy! Exotic or elaborate dishes with a large selections of extras and drinks and desserts. There were a few vegetarian dishes- she decided on one of them, save eating meat in front of him. Charlie ordered for them. When the waiter left, he leant his elbows on the table and laced his fingers. "So... tell me about yourself."

"Uh... what, um, what do you want to know?"

"Everything." She blinked at him and his smile broadened. "Yes, I'm an alien and I'm planning to clone you."

"Nice to know."

"Favourite colour." He prompted.

"Yellow. Yours?" He reached up and tugged on his hair. They played Twenty Questions until the waiter arrived with their drinks. Charlie thanked him again and passed him a five pound note. "You said you paint." He nodded. "What do you paint?"

"Everything I can."

"Like?"

"Landscapes. People. Dragons. I draw too. Very artsy, I am."

"Have you always been?"

"Yeah, kind of. Helps me chill. And I sell some as well so it's not a bad way of making money. I could draw if you want. Or paint. Up to you."

"I'll think about it. Do you play any instruments?"

"Piano. You?"

"A little bit of piano, but I never learned properly." He brightened.

"I could teach you!" Then he laughed. "Oh, how cliché, I love it!" At her bewildered look, he laughed again. "You know, being all romantic and playing the piano together. All that jazz."

"No. No clichés." He stuck his bottom lip out childishly. Roxy mimicked and his eyes gleamed cheekily. "Other than the painting and the charities, do you work?"

"Part-time security guard. Manly machoness and stuff."

"And what do you guard?"

"Shiny things."

"Very manly." She agreed, nodding with a little too much seriousness. Charlie pulled a face at her and then at his drink. "What's wrong?"

"I can't drink this."

"It's just wine."

"It's alcohol." Roxy raised a brow questioningly. "Alcohol of any strength is poisonous to mutants." She bit her lip, inhaling sharply. "It's alright, I'll just tell someone. Be right back." He smiled and took his glass away. Roxy had never known mutants were vulnerable to alcohol, but- now that she thought about it- it did explain why she and Christine had never seen a drunk mutant.

Charlie returned within the minute. "Back." He announced, setting down his new orange juice. "Miss me?"

"No."

"Liar. Ah! Food! Oh, you didn't have to have a veggie meal!"

"I'll manage, don't worry."

"Thank you." Charlie beamed at her. Roxy waved it off, examining her meal. "You know, I barely know anything about you. Do you work?"

"In a pet shop. Pets at Home." She added.

"Look! We're destined! I talk to animals and you work with them!"

"Yeah, don't get your hopes up."

"My hopes are always up. I'm incessantly positive, according to my dad's cousin."

"That sounds tiring."

"My dad's cousin? Nah, she's alright. She probably one of the calmest people I know." Roxy didn't bother correcting him. Charlie smiled like he knew this. "Which Pets at Home?"

"Crayford."

"I'll visit." He decided. "No way out of it." He continued when she started to protest. "You'll learn to love having me around- just wait until I turn on full-Charlie mode."

"What?"

"I'm quite calm at the minute."

"Oh god..."

"It's nothing to worry about. Tell a lie, it is. I'm incessantly annoying too. Everybody loves me though. I think they do at least. I mostly get smiles out of people I talk to. I think."

"I'm sure you do. You're very bubbly."

"I am?" She nodded, sipping at her wine. "Thank you. You're very pretty. No, don't blush. It's true." He twisted spaghetti around his fork and dabbed at the pile of sauce. "See, if I was to guess, I'd say you're not used to getting compliments because Christine was usually always in the spotlight. That is through no fault of her own and you don't need to resent her for it as she's been a great friend of yours for years, but it just means that when a guy pays attention to you, you get all flustered and muddled." He paused, scanning her expression. "And I take it you're also not used to mutants sussing you out in a minute. For the record, we don't all do that and I didn't read your mind. I have trouble reading minds. It's just if you grow up in a family as big as mine, you learn a few things."

"Or are you stalking me?" A smile curled his lips, warm. He offered her his hand.

"If I was stalking you," He said as she took his hand, "you would never know I was there unless..." He examined her fingers, running his thumb over her knuckles, "I wanted you to. But I would never stalk someone; it's creepy and rude and just plain nasty."

"You're like a fictional character." He blinked, not wearing a smile this time through sheer confusion. "You know, so nice and charming and hot- oh my god, did I just say that out loud?"

"You think I'm hot?"

"No." She squeaked. Oh, if only the ground would open up beneath her...

"Aah, you do! Well, your royal highness, I think you're pretty amazing too and that dress _really_ works for you." He winked- actually _winked_\- at her. "On a serious note, though," He covered her hand with his free one and smiled, no teasing or cheekiness, just a kind and gentle smile, "that dress makes me think you're not comfortable in it. Next time, we'll go to McDonalds or something, yeah? You can wear whatever you want- I bet you'd be a hundred times more beautiful." Roxy's face felt hotter than the sun and she had to force herself to maintain his gaze. He wasn't just saying that to be nice, he _meant_ it.

"OK." She said in a small voice. His smile warmed and he kissed her hand. He didn't let go, even when they returned to their food. Roxy, for once in her life, was stunned speechless. Never before had a guy like Charlie ever made her feel so... elated. Never before had she been of interest- _true_ interest, not a five minute wonder or someone a guy just hoped to get lucky with. She had been waiting for Mr. Right and refused to exploit herself.

Then Charlie rolled in and, within the space of forty minutes, made her feel so... _thrilled_ to be her, as though she had been seeing herself through rippling, dark glass all her life. And his hold on her hand was soft; she had the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to, but she didn't think she wanted to.

Roxy looked up at him when her temperature had cooled and her heart didn't feel ready to explode. "Charlie?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"For?"

"For... everything you just said."

"What? The truth?"

"Well-"

"No need to thank me, Rox. You needed to hear that at some point, you deserve it."

"I don't."

"You haven't had it easy. I can't tell what has happened, but something has. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He smiled again. "I'm here to talk if you need to."

"In total, you've known me for an hour, both times we've met. You're sweet, Charlie, and- and you're really, _really_ kind, but... I'm not going to tell you my life story."

"You really think that this is the only time we have _ever_? We're going to McDonalds, remember?" His fingers laced with hers. "I have a good feeling about you, I'm not letting go."

"Now that's stalker-ish."

"I don't mean for it to be. It's just I know a good thing when I see one and you're _very_ good."

"I could be a total delinquent."

"Then join the club."


	9. Roxy meets Charlie's family

After the first date, all of which Charlie paid for, the second date was very casual and full of banter. Charlie was much more relaxed in an environment as loud and as lively as him and Roxy was happy to tease someone who would immediately tease back and not sulk. The jokes and friendly insults flew between them like water through a dam. She even got to meet his siblings and parents- they were in town for the day, just for a change of scenery.

"OK, get ready to forget all their names in thirty seconds. We have Leon and Lucy-"

"The twins."

"Yup." He nodded. "Megan, Mitchell, Chloe, Amelia, Eden, Carly-"

"Triplets."

"Yes and that's Connor. Say 'hi', Connor." Connor, about five years old, hid behind his mother's legs. "I was exactly thirteen years, three months, two weeks and five days old when he was born."

"Wow. Ten kids in fourteen years? I salute you." Alfie and Jo smiled at her. Alfie was tall, about six foot four, and sturdily built. His ebony hair was as messy as Charlie's and his brown eyes were friendly, but cautious, assessing her for trouble. Jo was five foot six with a slim frame and thick scarlet hair braided over her shoulder. Her sky blue eyes were kindly and full of laughter, but could turn stern in a heartbeat should any of her children misbehave. Charlie had called it the 'Mum stare'. "If you see it, you're dead. Metaphorically speaking."

"It's nice to meet you." Jo smiled. "Charlie hasn't shut up about us meeting you. I don't know what you've done to him, but keep at it. He hasn't been so excited in a long time."

"See, I told you that you were cool." Charlie grinned. Roxy rolled her eyes at him and smiled at his mother.

"It's nice to meet you too. I bow down to... to you for all this." She gestured at the swarm of Yatchman children. "I've never... I don't now of any bigger families." Alfie and Jo laughed.

"Yeah, we're one of the biggest mutant families." Alfie told her, looking very pleased about it. "Aren't you lucky to be drawn into our madness?"

"Oh, very." Roxy nodded. "It'll take me a while to learn all your names, but I'll do it. Promise." They all grinned at her. The boys, except for Connor, had crimson hair and blue eyes. The girls, except for Chloe, had dark hair and brown eyes, like their father. Connor was a small clone of Alfie and Chloe of her mother.

"Right, we want him home by seven."

"Aw, what?" Charlie's shoulders drooped in denial. "That's _early_."

"Fine. One past seven." Alfie said, folding his arms and smirking.

"Because that's _so_ much better." Charlie muttered sarcastically. Jo crossed her arms too and then so did all the Yatchman children. Roxy bit her lip to stifle giggles while Charlie eyed them, one brow raised, and looking surprisingly cute for someone understandably confused. "Half eight." He tried.

"One past eight."

"Ooohhh..."

"Deal." Roxy grinned.

"Hey!" Charlie protested. "That's unfair- I'm an adult now, I can come home when I want!"

"You could move out." Alfie suggested, only to be hit by his wife.

"Behave. You lot, shoo. And definitely _behave. All of you_. We'll meet at the clock tower at one, yes?"

"Yes Mum." They chorused. The twins went one way, towards Game; Megan, Mitchell and Chloe disappeared into the shopping centre and the triplets made a beeline for W. . Connor stayed concealed behind his mother's legs.

"Charlie, eight at the _latest_. It's Vi's birthday tomorrow."

"Ooh, can Roxy come too?"

"If she wants to?"

"And Christine?" Charlie added before Roxy could reply. Alfie frowned.

"Another of your girlfriends?" He glanced sidelong at Roxy. Her face was probably tomato red and she avoided his gaze.

"I'm not his girlfriend." She mumbled. Charlie remained unfazed.

"No, not another girl friend- two words, not one- Christine is Roxy's friend."

"OK." Jo agreed without hesitation.

"Are you sure?" Roxy asked instantly. "I don't want to be any trouble." Alfie and Jo simultaneously waved aside her words.

"Vi wants to meet you anyway; Charlie's said a lot to her about you too."

"Is there _anyone_ you haven't told about me?"

"No."

"What?"

"I needed something brilliant to talk about and you fit the bill!" Charlie insisted, waving his hands about. Alfie started laughing and clapped his son on the shoulder.

"Taught him everything he knows."

"Oh, _please_." Jo scoffed. "If it wasn't for me, Charlie would never be able to get a girlfriend."

"Hey! Girls just love me, it's my natural charm!"

"Yeah, sure, Charlie." Alfie and Jo left. Charlie looked at Roxy and exhaled slowly, pushing his hands through his hair. Roxy smirked.

"Come on, Romeo. I'm hungry."

* * *

**Just a filler chapter, sorry! **


	10. Christine's matchmaking skills

**To ThatFanWarrior- Hold up, I have more! ^_^**

* * *

"Are you bi?"

"What?" Charlie did a double-take. "Am I _bi_?" Roxy nodded, stirring sugar into her tea. "No." He said uncertainly. "Why would you ask that?"

"You just flirt with everyone. It's cool if you are-"

"I'm not."

"You don't sound very sure about that."

"I am very sure." He poked at his plate of scones. "Do I really flirt with everyone?" She nodded again. "I just thought I was being nice; I didn't realised I was flirting. Do I flirt with you?"

"I think so, but you could just be being nice." Charlie pressed his lips together, picking up a knife and cutting his scone in half from edge to edge. He put jam and cream on before saying anything else.

"I only really mean to flirt with you."

"That's very honest."

"I wouldn't lie to you, I'm not that brave." He took a bit of his scone, smearing jam and cream on his cheek. "And I have nothing to hide from you anyway, so..." He hunched his shoulders. "This might sound a bit cliché, but I honestly feel like I can tell you anything."

"Wow. That was _very_ cliché."

"Our relationship is based on clichés."

"Our relationship?"

"Did I not tell you? We're dating." Roxy stared at him and he smiled sweetly. "Kidding. Here." He handed her another scone. She blinked at it, confused. She hadn't seen him prepare another one. "It's not poison, if that's what you're thinking. And I didn't lick it either." Roxy took the scone with a murmur of thanks. "Christine thinks we're dating; I didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise. Will she be OK if you told her?" Roxy shrugged, biting into her scone. It had just the right amount of jam and whipped cream. Charlie still had remants of his snack on his cheek and she had the sudden urge to wipe it away. But then she realised that would be another cliché, so she simply pointed it out to him. "Oh," He said, examining the napkin he had used, "thanks." He looked at her, tilting his head. "Are you OK?"

"Yes. Fine."

"Sure?"

"Mm-hm." She inclined her head. Charlie continued to watch her curiously as if trying to figure out what was running through her mind. "Charlie?" He lifted his chin in recognition. "Are you always this nice?"

"I hope so. Why?"

"I'm... I'm not."

"Of course you are!" He reached out and took hold of her hand. "Don't say horrible things about yourself, especially lies! You're perfect just the way you are." Heat flooded her cheeks.

"You're just saying that."

"I thought we'd already established I'd never lie to you."

"You also said that our so-called relationship that I knew nothing about is built on clichés."

"Aren't they all?"

"No."

"Oh." His thumb passed over the back of her hand. "I'm sure we can make this work."

"There is no _this_, Charlie." He dramatically clutched at his heart. Roxy giggled. "Oh god... Charlie..."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will scar me for a lifetime."

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

"But seriously."

"OK, fine. THere is only a _this_ in my head. Don't look so worried, Rox, I respect your privacy and I assure you the only sweet, romantic, loving couple thing we do is hold hands." Roxy became very aware of her hand in his and was in half a mind to pull away. But she didn't. Why? She didn't want to. She probably should have, she had only really known him for a handful of weeks, but it felt like much longer than that. They met up nearly every day for a trip to the cinema or lunch or shopping or tea and scones or just to hang out. Yet another cliché jumped into her mind- it felt like she had known him her whole life. "Rox?" He gently tightened his grip on her fingers, drawing her attention back from La-La Land. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." _Everything_.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." _No_.

Charlie made to say something when her phone started ringing. "Excuse me." She said quietly, jumping up and walking to the ladies' room. She pulled her phone from her bag with shaking hands. "Christine."

"I spy with my little eye two little lovebirds holding hands."

"Oh my god, are you following us?"

"Totally! So, how? When? Who's your best friend?"

"I can only answer that last one and, apparently, it's you."

"Brilliant! But why only that one? I need details!" Roxy sighed and broke the news to Christine. "What? No! No, no, no! You get back out there and snog him senseless!"

"No!"

"Oh come on, I know you want to!"

"I do not." The bathroom door swung open. Christine stood there, one hand on her hip. Roxy hung up. "I do not." She repeated firmly.

"Then why does it look like I could fry an egg on your face? Heck, I could do a full English breakfast! You _like_ him!" She squealed, dancing forward and around Roxy. "You like him, you like him, you like him!" She chanted.

"Do you want to say that any louder? I don't think they heard you over in Kent!" Christine tsked and swatted Roxy's arm. "OK, so maybe I like him. A bit."

"Oh no, you like him a _lot_ and I honestly can't blame you. Forget spicy potato, that boy is extra hot peri peri salsa!"

"What?"

"Ugh, simpleton. The point is... _get out there and take him before I do_."

"Keep your wig on."

"It's not a wig, I grew this myself." Christine swished her long blonde hair proudly, puffing irritably as a bit of her fringe fell over her eyes. "I'm serious- if you don't get him in the next five seconds, I shall steal him." She whistled lowly. "I just wanna lick him like he was a cold creamy cornetto."

"Too much information." **(Just so you know, some of this conversation between Christine and Roxy is from a conversation me and my friend had- Christine is based on that friend ^_^ )**

"Never too much information, now go!" Christine grabbed Roxy's arm and propelled her from the toilets. "I shall be watching!"

"Because that's not creepy." Roxy shook her head at her friend's clearly disturbed mind and went back to Charlie. "Hi."

"Hello." He smiled. "Everything OK? I saw Christine run past."

"Just Christine being Christine, you know how it is."

"All too well." He said, massaging his ribs.

"She did _not_ break your ribs."

"Felt like it. I've never known a human to hug so hard."

"She just didn't want to let you go."

"Chick magnet."

"Idiot." Roxy corrected. Her tea had gone cold, so she pushed it aside. "Charlie, can... can we talk?" There was a hiss behind her. Roxy forced herself not to turn around to frown at Christine. "Um..."

"Yes, I will marry you."

"What?"

"Are you breaking up with me?" He grinned slyly. "Or does this have something to do with the 'snog him senseless' thing Christine said on her way past?" Roxy was just about ready to melt in a puddle of ooze, but not before she had wringed her friend's neck.

"With all seriousness-" She said through gritted teeth, struggling to maintain his steady and merry gaze.

"I can be serious."

"I doubt that." She huffed, picking up the menu and fanning herself. Charlie's eyes gleamed with amusement, but he stayed quiet. "I... I may be reading this all wrong and Christine has _not_ helped-" She shot over her shoulder. Another disapproving hiss. "No, shut up, I'm talking- I may be reading this all wrong, but... I... I like you. Like, _really_ like you." He beamed. "And... could we... we... I don't know, _try_?"

"Yes." He said without missing a beat. "Gladly." He laughed heartily "Oh, this has made my day! Now I can tell Mum I got a girlfriend all on my own!" Behind Roxy, Christine leapt up from her seat, leaning over the back and squealing happily. She caught Roxy in a chokehold hug.

"I am the best matchmaker ever!"

"When did you get there?" Charlie asked, eyeing her warily. Roxy noticed his arms fold around his ribs protectively.

"A magician never reveals her secrets." Christine loosened her hold on Roxy, but didn't let go. "Who's your best friend? I am! Oooh, I'm planning your wedding!"

"Wait, what?"

"Shush! You have no say in anything!"


	11. My anaconda don't want none!

**To ThatFanWarrior- you wait, I'm going to write up their storyline entirely on here, feels and all! :D**

* * *

Roxy walked in from work to see Charlie sitting on her sofa and talking. At first, she didn't realise who he was talking to, more focused on trying to figure out how he got in.

Then she realised who- or _what_\- he was talking to.

"Oh my god, snake! Huge snake! Oh my god, oh my god!"

"Calm." Charlie held up his hand. The snake was about ten foot long and as thick and round as a telephone pole. It was dark green with splotches of red and was swirling around Charlie's shoulders and along his arm. It hissed at her from his palm. "Roxy, this is Carl. Carl, this is Roxy, my girlfriend." The snake hissed again. "Yeah, it is. Roxy, he's saying happy one month anniversary to us."

"Um... thank you?"

"Don't worry." Charlie smiled. "He won't hurt you."

"How... how did he get here?"

"Um..." Carl swivelled back to look at Charlie and hissed. "He says he came over on a ship from Brazil and escaped."

"Is that... is that a good thing?"

"I think so." Charlie regarded Carl for a moment. "Well, we think so. People are still looking for him. Why did you escape?" Carl hissed. "Ah. No, I get that." Roxy stepped forward cautiously and jumped back when Carl snapped round to face her. "He won't hurt you, Roxy, I promise."

"Does he promise that?" Carl hissed and Charlie nodded. "OK." Roxy said in a small voice. "Um, Christine's going to be here in a bit, so..."

"We'll behave." Charlie smiled. Carl wrapped back around his shoulders and settled down to sleep. Charlie didn't seem to mind.

"I know you said you talk to animals, but I never realised I'd come home to massive Brazillian snakes tied around my boyfriend's neck."

"Be grateful I haven't done a Snow White and got all the woodland creatures doing the housework. That may work in Disney movies, but is one of the worst ideas ever in real life. Feathers and fur and other animal messes everywhere."

"I take it you've tried that then?" He grinned and nodded. "Thought so." The doorbell rang. Carl slithered about restlessly, coiling tighter about Charlie's neck. "Isn't that dangerous?" Roxy asked, turning back to the door.

"I'm practically Doctor Dolittle, they would never hurt me."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Hey, Chrissie. Charlie has a snake. And you have cookies."

"Yes and they're mine, I'm not sharing. What do you mean Charlie has a sn- oh my god! Snake!"

"Roxy's words exactly." Charlie smiled. "Ooh, cookies!" Carl woke and considered the newcomer sleepily, hissing disapprovingly. Charlie grinned, eyes twinkling mischievously. "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun."

"Oh my god, kill me now."

"There is something wrong with you." Christine said at the same time. She turned to Roxy. "And if I killed you now, I'd be stuck with this peasant, extra hot peri peri salsa or not!"

"I'm sauce?"

"Apparently." Roxy sighed.

"Can I have a cookie?"

"No."


	12. Feather boa

"Here! Oy! Yes, you, pay attention. What'd you think?"

"I think you're an idiot."

"You didn't even look up." Roxy mentally groaned and looked up. This was the first and last time she was bringing Charlie clothes shopping. He had found a hat and a men's cardigan and was happily examining himself in the mirror, tilting his hat like some popstar. "Very swathe." He winked at his reflection and then smiled at her. Roxy rolled her eyes. Charlie huffed. "Be like that then." He disappeared. Roxy returned her attention to the sale rack.

Charlie snuck up behind Roxy five minutes later. She was inspecting the shoes, trying to find her size. She didn't notice him, but the other customers did. He wore a big floppy pink hat with a huge purple feather. Around his neck was a fluffy pink feather boa and he was holding it out to either side; dancing around Roxy, crabwalking, Egyptian dancing and swinging the feather boa about and strutting his stuff.

Roxy turned when people started laughing. Some clown was dancing about in a ridiculous hat and twirling a feather boa, one hand on their hip. Their back was to her.

The clown spun around- it was _her_ clown. He took a step forward and froze when he realised she was looking at him. They regarded each other in silence for a good, long minute.

"I don't even know anymore." Roxy said. Charlie grinned cheekily, swishing forward and tangling her in the boa. He kissed her forehead and then bowed to his adoring fans. "You're an idiot."

"Yes." Charlie agreed, throwing the feather boa up and over his shoulder. "But you've got to admit I have style."

"No."


	13. Charlie's deal

"I've got a girlfriend." Charlie prompted in a sing-song voice. He sat at the island in the kitchen, elbows propped on the surface and fingers laced under his chin. "All on my own." Jo and Alfie shared amused looks. Jo was cooking up a big vat of stew while Alfie leant against the counter, nursing a coffee.

"Without us, Charlie," Jo started calmly, "you never would have figured out how to get a girlfriend."

"I would have!"

"No." His parents simultaneously shook their heads, smiling.

"Oh, don't act like you're _love experts_. It took you eight years to realise you didn't hate each other and another two years to get married and have me, your favourite child, no denying it. I got a girlfriend in a month of meeting her so," He stuck his tongue out at them, "I win."

"OK, Charlie. I'll make you a deal." Alfie stood up straight, setting his mug on the island. He placed his palms on the centre counter and smirked. "If you're engaged in three years, we will admit you've won."

"And pay for my wedding." Charlie added, grinning cheekily. Alfie looked to Jo for confirmation. Jo nodded. "And if I'm not? Very big 'if' by the way."

"We get to set you up with someone and you have to lump it." Jo smiled devilishly. Charlie sucked in a breath, mentally weighing his options.

"OK, deal." He held out his hand. Jo moved forward and they shook his hand together.

Charlie pushed back from the table.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to fulfil my end of the deal. I'll be back for dinner." He beamed at them, swivelling on his heel and bouncing out.

"Cocky git." Alfie muttered. Jo laughed.

"Takes after his father."


	14. Charlie the Gentleman (and Christine)

"So, how are things?" Christine asked, her tone knowing and her smile triumphant. Roxy sat opposite her and stole a chocolate muffin, taking a bite before her friend could complain. Christine was in a good mood, however, and let the little thief slide. "Is he a good kisser?"

"I don't know." Christine's smile vanished into a wide-eyed stare of horror.

"_You haven't kissed him_?" She hissed. Roxy shook her head. Charlie had only ever kissed her on the cheek, her forehead or her hand. Judging by Christine's expression, having not shared a proper kiss was cause for World War Three. "Why?" She demanded indignantly. Roxy shrugged, taking another bite of muffin. "No, _no_. I _cannot_ accept this! Do you know how much _work_ I've put into this relationship? You are not chickening out now-"

"Oh my god, Chrissie, you're like the ultimate third wheel."

"Yeah, so? My OTP is not going down like this!"

"You know what an OTP is?"

"I hang out with you, darling, I learn these things." Roxy flicked a bit of chocolate at her. "So, do you do _anything_. Hug? Hold hands?" Roxy nodded and Christine sighed in relief, slumping in her seat. "Some progress at least, but seriously!" She sat back up. "That boy is hotter than July and _you haven't kissed him_!"

"I don't think everyone heard, care to repeat that any louder?"

"Don't you sass me, young lady. I will come down on you like a ton of bricks so hard you won't know what's hit you."

"Pretty sure it's a ton of bricks." Christine glowered. "I don't see why you're getting so upset. We're just taking it slow, that's all."

"So, you've talked about it?"

"Kind of. I think he's really nervous. He's never had a girlfriend before and his mum said he's probably trying not to upset me- he hates it if he thinks he's upset someone."

"Yes, how sweet." Christine said impatiently. "You're to go home and I will not see you until you have some juicy gossip for me."

"I thought you wanted my help picking a new dress for your date?"

"What would you know about dating? You've a got a frigid boyfriend!"

"He's not frigid! He's nervous, there's a difference! And I'd know a lot more than you."

"Oh yeah?" Christine challenged.

"Yeah." Roxy defied. "Nervous, frigid, whatever. Charlie is the sweetest guy I've ever met- he's always buying me presents and flowers and we always go out whether it's to the cinema or shopping or for a meal and he's always such a gentleman, opening doors and carrying shopping bags and paying for dinner and pulling out my chair for me in restaurants-"

"OK, I get the picture. You're just making me jealous so I'd shut up, aren't you?"

"Is it working?"

"No." Christine lied, miffed. Roxy grinned victoriously. Christine changed the subject. "Has he met your parents yet?"

"No, not yet. Dad knows I've got a boyfriend, he just doesn't know Charlie is a mutant." Christine pursed her lips. "I know, I know, but I don't know how Dad will react. Mum knows though; she says to tell Dad ASAP, but it's difficult. Whenever I bring up meeting Charlie in a conversation, Dad starts with the whole 'has to be worthy enough for my daughter' deal and just goes on and on and on..."

"At least your dad takes an interest in you. The only interesting thing about my dad is his money and the fact I can insult him more than anyone else." Christine muttered a few vile swear words under her breath and then smiled as if it were no big deal. "Let's go dress shopping. Mans need some retail therapy."


	15. Charlie meets Roxy's parents

**To ThatFanWarrior- You ship yourself with all my OCs. Well, that happened ^_^ Thank you! :D **

**To all, this is the one where Charlie meets Roxy's parents. Tiny spoiler alert- Charlie gets nervous :P**

* * *

"He said he would meet us here, Dad." Roxy checked her watch. "We're early though, so he'll be a few minutes." Her father was a tall, broad-shouldered business man with a square jaw and dark hair combed back smartly. His grey eyes scanned the shopping mall fiercely. "Where did Mum go?"

"To the bakery. She'll be here soon, but you know what she's like." Roxy nodded, smiling. Her mother had a weakness for all things sugary.

From the corner of her eye, Roxy spotted a flash of scarlet hair. She took her father's hand and marched over. It was only when she was a few feet from him did she realise; "You're not Charlie. You're Leon." Leon nodded once. His twin materialised at his side, smiling warmly. "I knew something was off; Charlie's not so surly."

"I'm _not_ surly." Leon muttered. Lucy giggled.

"You _so_ are."

"No-one asked your opinion." Leon huffed.

"I'm your twin, you're getting my opinion whether you like it or not."

"Where's Charlie?" Roxy asked, checking her watch again.

"He said something about an errand."

"And a bird." Leon added, scratching at his chin. "An animal flying bird, not a bird as in a pretty lady." Lucy dug her elbow into his ribs and shook her head. She and Roxy shared exasperated looks- _boys_.

"There he is!" Lucy pointed, grinning. She waved frantically. Roxy and her father turned. Charlie was walking towards them, a bouquet of tulips in one hand, a cake box in the other and some bird on his shoulder. "I'll take that." Lucy confiscated the cake box instantly and she and Leon disappeared in the blink of an eye. Charlie just sighed, smiling.

"I'll buy another one. For you." He presented her with the flowers. Roxy beamed thankfully, inhaling the beautiful scent. "And you must be Mr. Roundshore. I'm Charlie, sir, Charlie Yatchman." Charlie held out his hand, smiling politely.

"Why do you have a peregrine falcon on your shoulder?" Mr. Roundshore quizzed, casting a wary eye over the bird. Charlie seemed unfazed by the ignored half-handshake, raising his hand to coax the falcon onto his wrist.

"He's hurt his wing, see?" The feathers were crusted with dried blood and some bent at various angles. "I'm going to take him home, fix him up." The falcon snapped his beak and Charlie lifted him back onto his shoulder. "Where's Mrs. Roundshore?"

"In the bakery?"

"She wouldn't be about this tall," He held his hand up just below shoulder-height, "with blonde hair, blue eyes and some very nice purple glasses, would she?"

"Yeah."

"No, haven't seen her." The falcon nipped at Charlie's fingers. "OK, OK, picky. I did see her, buying all sorts from the bakery. I didn't realise she was your mum though; if I'd know, I'd've waited."

"It's alright." Roxy assured. "Let's see if we can find her."

"Just look for a stack of cake, doughnut and cookies boxes- she was buying a feast, I was so jealous!"

"No. You don't need any sugar whatsoever."

"Are you a vet, Charlie?" Roxy's father questioned out of the blue. Charlie spun back to him, his kind smile back in place.

"No, sir. I'm just good with animals."

"Would you train to be a vet?"

"I have thought about it, but I also want to work in a children's hospital or maybe be a stay-at-home dad."

"Really?" Charlie suddenly looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He glanced at Roxy anxiously, worried he had said the wrong thing.

"Charlie's great with kids, Dad. He's got nine brothers and sisters, so plenty of practise."

"_Nine_?"

"Y-yeah. Um, me, Leon and Lucy- the twins who stole my cake- Megan, Mitchell, Chloe, the triplets Amelia, Eden and Carly and Connor. It's a bit hectic, but I love it. I'm the oldest, I'm clearly the favourite."

"In theory, that would be Connor." Roxy intervened. "Well, they had nine kids after you, so you clearly weren't perfect, but they stopped at Connor, so he is." Charlie wrinkled his nose at her. Roxy copied and then spotted a walking stack of boxes. "Mum!"

"Oh! Hello, Roxy dear!" Charlie bounced forward, taking most of the boxes from her. "Oooh, who's this? And why do you have a bird on your shoulder?"

"Mum, this is Charlie. He's helping the falcon because he's hurt his wing, see?"

"Aah, how sweet. Charlie, it's nice to finally meet you, but I never realised you were so tall!" Mrs. Roundshore took a step back and adjusted her glasses to smile up at him. "And your hair! Roxy tells me that's natural, is that true?" Charlie grinned and nodded. "And your eyes! If you were older and I weren't married…"

"Mum!"

"Marie!" Mr. Roundshore scolded. His wife laughed. A ghost of a smile tweaked her husband's lips.

"I'm just teasing, Ronald, don't you worry. And you," She shone her smile back at Charlie, "Roxy's told me all about you and I'm happy for you both. Let's just hope my stubborn husband can come around." She gave Mr. Roundshore a pointed look. "Now, let's go home, pop the kettle on and gorge ourselves silly on all this." Charlie and Roxy grinned approvingly. Mr. Roundshore just nodded, keeping a careful eye on Charlie.

* * *

Charlie and Roxy were sat on the sofa in her plush and luxurious living room. Charlie was sitting on the edge of the chair, his falcon- Tim- perched on his knee. Roxy was trying to convince him to relax, but this was far posher and tidier than what he was used to. "Charlie, don't look so panicked. You've come here to get to know my parents and Mum did say to make yourself at home."

"I know, but is everything always so… immaculate?" Roxy smiled. Tim cawed and hopped about restlessly on Charlie's leg. "Yes, I know. Rox, have you got a first aid kit somewhere?"

"Yeah, sure. Hold on." Roxy got up and headed to the bathroom. When she returned, Charlie was reclining on the window seat, Tim nesting in his hair and cooing every few seconds. It turns out they were playing I-Spy. Unbeknownst to them, however, her father was in the kitchen doorway, listening in. He frowned at her, arms crossed. "Dad, I can explain-"

"He's a mutant." Charlie peered round, eyes wide. "And you didn't tell me."

"With all due respect, sir, I thought you knew." Charlie looked questioningly at his girlfriend.

"Dad, I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how you'd react."

"It's illegal, mutants and humans." Fury exploded in his eyes and he rounded on Charlie. Having a falcon in his hair did not help matters. "They'll hurt Roxy!" He raged. "Do you have any idea what trouble you've put her in? If she gets hurt because of you, I will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb, do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." Charlie said solemnly. He removed Tim and set him on a cushion. He rose steadily, roughly the same height as Mr. Roundshore. "But sir, if I may. I know it's illegal and I really am sorry. It's just that your daughter means a lot to me, more than the world and I would never let any harm come to her, I swear to Seltik. Chances are they will come for me, if they ever find out- the Enforcers tend to believe mutants control the humans." **(Enforcers are a bunch of humans that make sure mutants are obeying the law- they're not very nice). **"I promise you my mind control abilities are literally zero. I have never controlled anyone, human or mutant. I haven't tried and I don't plan on trying. I can understand why you would be upset; she's your only daughter. My dad is strict about letting my sisters date too, so I _really_ do understand your concerns, sir, I do. But _please, _sir, these past few months with your daughter… I really could not be happier, she's just so… so… I can't think of a word better than amazing right now, but she's clever, she's funny, she's considerate, she's absolutely _beautiful_. I'd never do anything to put her at risk, you have my word."

Roxy was torn. Her mother was crying tears of joy and fanning herself in the kitchen doorway; her boyfriend had all but blessed the air she breathed and the ground she walked on to her father who- shockingly- had not said a single word throughout Charlie's little speech.

"I have two questions for you." He eventually grumbled.

"Yes sir."

"You'll keep her safe?"

"If it kills me." Charlie promised.

"And… Seltik?"

"He's our god, in a way. Um, he doesn't like being called a god as far as I'm aware. He's more of a… omnipresent and omniscient being, but… not a god exactly. It's confusing, I can't remember all the details. You'll have to ask Michael."

"One of your brothers?"

"No, that's Mitchell. Michael is a half-mutant friend of my nan's and he's the smartest guy I know. I can't say the same about you sir," He hastily added, "I hardly know you." Charlie smiled. "Care to resolve this over dinner?" He winked flirtatiously at Mr. Roundshore, you looked like a steam roller had barrelled over him.

"Are you flirting with my dad?"

"Damn right, you see those shoulders? Hot damn!"

"Oh my god." Roxy pushed her hands through her hair. Tim squawked impatiently. "Oh my god," Roxy repeated, "Dad, can I talk to you for a minute? Charlie needs to help his bird and _wind in his neck before I break it_." Charlie just smiled sweetly, waggling his fingers at her. Roxy dragged her father into the kitchen. Marie was sitting on the counter, clearly eager to talk. "OK, before you say anything, either of you, Charlie means well. He flirts with everyone without realising it, we _have _talked about this. It's just a nervous habit of his, that's all. And Dad, why did you make him promise that? Ask his family, he never breaks his promises, _ever_."

"Good."

"Not good if he gets himself _killed_." Her father bunched his jaw, irritated, but also determined. "I know you mean well, Dad, but please don't make him make stupid promises."

"It's not stupid, sweetheart!" Marie interceded gently. "Charlie cares about you a great deal and to willingly agree to put his life on the line to save you, should the situation arise, is just precious! You were right, he really is sweet and you've made an excellent choice, I'm so proud of you!"

"But I don't want him hurt."

"Tell me about him." Her father said, his voice firm but quiet. "How does he treat you?" Roxy hesitated, looking to her mother. Marie nodded. Roxy told her father everything about Charlie, all that she had told Christine and Marie, how Charlie was always so gentlemanly, so kind and thoughtful, how they only ever held hands and how they hadn't had a 'proper kiss' as Christine had said, "He just seems to know what to say or do to cheer me up or help. Please just give him a chance, Dad. You could get on really well."

"But I stand by what I said. If he hurts you or you get hurt because of him-"

"You'll kill him, I know. Please, Dad. Be nice to him." He sighed, running a hand over his jaw.

"OK." He eventually relented. He led the way out of the kitchen, Roxy and Marie trailing behind him. "Charlie?"

"Yes sir?"

"Um, what are you doing?"

"I'm just clearing up. Sorry about the mess, but Tim's wing was in a really bad state." Charlie tilted his head. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes. I'm… I jumped to conclusions when I shouldn't have. I should… I've decided to give you a chance." Charlie beamed and jumped to his feet.

"Thank you, sir!" He grabbed Mr. Roundshore's hand and shook it vigorously. "I'll do my best, sir, thank you!"

"Are you always this excitable?" Mr. Roundshore asked when Charlie had let go.

"Um, sometimes. Sorry if I get like that-"

"No. It's… something I suppose I'm going to have to get used to." Mr. Roundshore looked sidelong at his daughter and smiled lopsidedly. "So, Charlie. Animals. You talk to them?"

"Yes sir."

"What else can you do?"

"Um… well, I can… uh…" Now that Roxy thought about it, she didn't really know much of his mutant abilities. "I can control water and air, sort of, and… and transfer injuries and illnesses if I want to. I can't heal, I just end up with whatever's wrong. Um… I don't really know. I don't really use my powers."

"No?" Charlie shook his head. "Why?"

"I just don't really. I'm not sure why. I mean, I'll use a bit here and there to stop the energy building up and making a very big mess, but that's it really." Charlie met Mr. Roundshore's gaze and smiled. "But enough about me. Let's talk about you! Do you work out?"

"Charlie!" Roxy scolded, startling him. Marie just laughed. "Stop flirting with my dad!"

"I can't help it! He's just so flirtable."

"That's not even a word!"

"Roxy, sweetheart." Charlie looked at her, dead serious. "My heart feels like it's going to explode, so if want nervous breakdown Charlie, keep talking."

"You're an idiot."

"We've had this conversation in every chapter."

"What? Chapter? What?"

"Aha!" Charlie declared victoriously. "Fourth wall!" He half-turned and punched the air. "Broken!"

"He really is mad, isn't he?"

"Yes, Dad. It's tiring, I warn you now, but… amusing."

"I am not amusing, I'm as manly as hell."

"Hell could be a very feminine place." Marie pointed out. Charlie blew a raspberry and they all laughed.


	16. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn

"Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn..."

"Charlie?"

"Mm?"

"What are you on about?"

"Well, your mum said that hell could be feminine and I'm trying to think of ways around that. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. Everybody knows women are terrifying creatures."

"Oh, if only."

"So, if hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn and women are the most terrifying creatures to ever grace the Earth, then hell must be a guy."

"Hell is a place."

"Metaphorically speaking, dammit! Stop blowing holes in my theories!"

"Charlie, your theories are the ramblings of a mad man."

"And your point is?"

"Well, you go about breaking non-existent fourth walls and spend six hours debating with yourself if hell is male or female." Charlie nodded. "So excuse me if I say 'ramblings of a mad man', but it's true." He nodded again. "Scratch that- you're a whole other level of mad. There's mad and then about five million miles above that, there's you."

"Yes. But I'm not up there alone. You're with me, my queen of insanity."

"I quite like that title."

"And we've got a big castle. I'm talking _huge_. Like, Hogwarts _huge _and each corridor has different weather and you get random selections of food at meal times and some of the doors lead to alternate dimensions where I am a woman."

"In a fairy godmother outfit?"

"Pfft, _no_. I'm _far _more classy than that. I'm like the super deluxe extreme master queen, there is no getting past me on _anything_. I'm like a fashionable ninja- with power! And, you know, I'll have an army of animals I freed from zoos and stuff and I'll rule the world through fear and my beauty."

"I worry about you."

"You should, you're my girlfriend."

"Sometimes, I wonder why."

"And then you remember you love me."

"Yes, Charlie. There is no other reason."

"Hey, I just made you a queen. Or a king if we're in a genderbent alternate dimension. Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm going to lie down. Your madness is making my head spin." He laughed maniacally. "There. That _right there _is my point."

* * *

**I've started reading Game of Thrones! **


	17. Nope

**To ThatFanWarrior- Oh, the taunting! It'd be a billion times worse though because he's got nine siblings! :D **

**I warn you all now, the chapters from here on out are not so light-hearted. I was going to leave it all just to be a bit of a giggle, but I thought you all deserved to know their full story- or as full as I have it now. To remind you, Enforcers are a group of humans who make sure mutants obey the laws set down for them when they were accepted into society.**

* * *

"No! No, leave him alone! _Leave him alone_!" She _knew_ something had been wrong. Charlie wouldn't leave her waiting. He had texted her to say he was five minutes away. It had been fifteen. He wasn't answering his phone. Roxy found him around the corner and down the street, a five minute walk or a two minute run. Pedestrians were flocking out of there and she had to battle through the crowds. "Charlie!" She cried. He looked up wearily, blood dripping from a number of wounds across his face, the scarlet barely concealing a large bruise on his cheek. His lips moved soundlessly and with obvious effort, he tried to sit up straighter.

An Enforcer kicked him square in the ribs. Something cracked and Charlie was shoved aside. "Leave him alone!" Roxy shoved the Enforcer away as best she could, but he was twice her size and weighed down with weapons and armour.

"Roxy…" Charlie groaned. His hands were shackled behind his back, vicious grazes darkening his forearms.

"It's the human." One of the Enforcer men said to another. Their leader stepped forward, a haggard looking middle-aged man with cropped hair and grey eyes.

"Ma'am, it's alright. The mutant's been contained, you don't have to be scared anymore."

"Let him go!" Roxy ordered. "He never hurt anyone!"

"You're under its control, you're confused-"

"HE IS NOT CONTROLLING ME!" She screamed. "LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!"

"Ma'am, please-" The leader tried again. Roxy lost her temper and slapped him. Instantly, two guards had her by the arms. "No, no, don't hurt her. She doesn't know what she's doing." Charlie struggled against his bonds. A third pulled a nasty looking black rod from his belt and buried it fiercely in Charlie's ribs.

"No!" Roxy tried to throw off her captors as the savage bolts of energy ripped through her boyfriend. "No, stop it! Stop it!" She threw her weight forward, slipped free and slammed the third Enforcer away. He dropped his baton in surprise and Roxy snatched it up. Charlie slumped forward against the back of her legs, mumbling her name. "Stay back!" Roxy warned, brandishing the weapon. "STAY BACK!" Charlie shifted against her and everything went dark.

Next thing she knew, she was at the Yatchmans', in their living room with a weapon mutants' hated the most. She dropped it like it had burned her and scurried to untie Charlie. The cuffs they had used had tightened and injected their venom into his wrists the second he had used his powers. In less than a minute, he was fitting, choking up blood and writhing in agony. "Charlie! CHARLIE!"

"Roxy, what happened?" Alfie demanded. He and his wife hurried to work what magic they could as Roxy stammered her way through the encounter. Alfie swore profusely. Jo shushed him and managed to put Charlie to sleep.

"That'll slow down the effects. Leon, Lucy, go and see if Michael knows a cure. Alfie, help me get him upstairs. Megan, make Roxy a tea and don't send her up until she's calmed down."

"But-" Roxy started. Jo fixed a firm look on her and there was no point arguing.

* * *

Michael arrived twenty minutes later. He stayed for over an hour, which felt like a lifetime to Roxy. Her tea remained untouched, cold and unpleasant looking. Megan didn't make her another one, but gave her a glass of her mother's white wine. By the time Roxy was allowed up, her nerves were fraught. She had sipped at the wine and then left it. She preferred red wine, Charlie always brought her red wine. And flowers. She had never gone without flowers since they had started dating nine months ago.

Charlie was awake, a little groggy and battered, but _alive_. He smiled when she walked in and sat up straighter, grimacing as his healing ribs twanged in disagreement. His mother scolded him into sitting still and she, Alfie and Michael left.

"Are you OK?" He croaked, motioning for her to sit next to him. She didn't move. "Roxy?"

"How do you do it?" She whispered. His brow furrowed in confusion. "You could have _died_. Why didn't you do the teleport jump thing before they got you?"

"Because they'd have gone after you." His befuddlement had eased away into a softer, but more determined look. "You're not getting hurt because of me, no way."

"_You could have died_!" She reprimanded in a shrill, hysterical voice. He winced and rubbed at his ears- mutant hearing was very sensitive.

"But I didn't." He replied evenly.

"HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS?"

"You're plenty mad for both us." He answered, a little louder than usual because his hands were over his ears.

"No! Do _not_ make jokes, Charlie, this is serious!" He lowered his hands, biting his lip. "You nearly died getting us out of there, you-" Something clicked in her mind then. She didn't know what had triggered it- his calmness, his obstinate decision that she would not be hurt on his watch… "You didn't leave until… until…"

"Until I had to." He finished. He calmly met her gaze and she felt tears flood her cheeks. "Roxy." He said in a milder voice, trying to get up.

"No." She stepped back and something in him shattered. "If you get yourself _killed_ trying to keep me safe, I… I wouldn't… I'd never…"

"Roxy, don't-"

"I'm sorry, Charlie."

"Please don't do this-"

"I won't let you die because of me!" Roxy forced herself to look him in the eye. He was shaking his head, trying to evade it before she said it. "It's over, Charlie."

"No."

"Yes. You're not getting hurt because of me."

"Roxy-" He tried to get up again, but she had already left.

* * *

**Told you. **


	18. For the best

**Short chapter:**

* * *

Roxy stormed out, in tears, and didn't look at any of them. Jo went after her and Alfie went up to see Charlie.

"Oh no you don't, sit."

"No, I've got to go after her!" Alfie caught Charlie as his legs gave out and sat him back on the bed. Charlie looked a little green, but he was absolutely determined to go after Roxy. "Dad, move!"

"She called it off, didn't she? Charlie, look at me. I… I don't want to say it, but-"

"Don't." Charlie pleaded.

"It's for the best."

"No!"

"You'll _both_ be safe now." Alfie pointed out, pushing on Charlie's shoulders to keep him seated. Charlie struggled all the same, shaking his head. "Charlie, listen to me."

"No!"

"Charlie."

"No!" There was a _BANG_ and Alfie found himself on the other side of the room, slumped against the wall. Charlie looked horrified. "Dad, I-I didn't… I'm sorry, I-I…"

"It's alright." Alfie assured, rising gingerly as his back protested. He moved forward and Charlie panicked, disappearing.

* * *

Jo was having a little more luck. She had the human to deal with- no powers to throw her away. "Roxy, explain."

"I had to." Roxy breathed, stumbling to a halt. Great sobs racked her shoulders. "He wouldn't listen to me, I-I had to do something!" She looked desperately at Jo, silently begging her to understand. "I'd never forgive myself if he died to save me! I won't let him do that!"

"He'll do that anyway."

"And that doesn't _bother_ you?" Anger flared across Jo's usually warm and motherly features.

"Of course it bothers me!" She spat. Jo glared at Roxy for a moment and then remembered herself, exhaling slowly. "But he takes after his father." She continued in a kinder tone. "If he makes his mind up about something, there is no changing it. Especially if someone he loves needs help."

"Why? Why does he do it? Why does he always take the brunt of things for someone else?"

"For the same reason you left him."


	19. Tears

**I'm so sorry for having disappeared these last few days, I haven't really been feeling all that well. I'll try and make it up to you guys, I'm REALLY sorry! **

**To ThatFanWarrior- I DARE.**

**To Elleibarra- Breathe! Breathing is key! And no. I shall not.**

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?"

"THERE'S NO POINT SHOUTING AT ME FOR IT, I'M KEEPING HIM ALIVE!"

"I WILL SHOUT AT YOU UNTIL HELL FREEZES OVER! YOU'VE JUST LET THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU GO! HOW COULD YOU?"

"THEY WERE GOING TO KILL HIM! HE NEARLY _DIED_ GETTING US OUT OF THERE!"

"THAT IS NO REASON TO LEAVE HIM!"

"IT IS EVERY REASON TO LEAVE HIM, I'VE TOLD YOU THIS ALREADY!"

"I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THAT BECAUSE IT WAS A STUPID ASS DECISION AND I HATE IT!"

"HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO HATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT?"

"Stop it!" Jo frowned at the pair of them. Roxy wasn't sure when or how she got in, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. Jo was staring her and Christine down- the Mum Stare Charlie had warned her about. Roxy had never thought to be on the receiving end of it, but here it was. "Arguing isn't going to make things better! I sent you over to help her feel better, not tear strips off her!" She scolded Christine.

"I _will_ tear strips off her because-"

"I _know_." Jo stressed impatiently. Christine glowered at her. Jo sent a look ten times as fiery straight back and Christine's shoulders hunched defensively. "I will _not_ have this tear you two apart as well. Is that clear?" When they didn't answer immediately, Jo crossed her arms and squared her shoulders. "I said _is that clear_?"

"Yes." The two friends mumbled together.

"Good. If I find out you two have been arguing again, there will be _serious _consequences. Understood?" They nodded. Jo did too, once, and left. Roxy glanced sidelong at Christine.

"Sorry." She said quietly.

"No, I'm sorry." Christine put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Jo was right, I shouldn't have had a go at you for this. I understand what you did and why."

"I shouldn't have shouted at you anyway."

"How about we draw a line under this and go and spend my dad's money on over-priced cake and coffee?" Roxy smiled weakly. Over the years, she had grown used to Christine helping herself to her father's money. There was no talking Christine round from this, no matter how hard or how long Roxy tried to. In the end, she had given up. Christine had money and she was going to spend it. Lavishly.

"I'd love to." Roxy said. "But-"

"You're not feeling up to it. That's cool. We'll just have takeaway and rent films off of something."

"And you're OK with that?"

"I'll binge shop tomorrow to make up."

"How you have any room left for anything has forever confused me." Christine smiled devilishly and directed Roxy back to the sofa. She tottered off to the phone, punching in well-remembered number from all their takeaway-movie nights. Roxy left her to it, punching her cushions into a more comfortable state. She lay on her front on the sofa, face buried in the padding. Christine didn't tell her to move when she came back- she simply sat on her back and promptly refused to move. "My _spine_..." Roxy wheezed, trying to tip her friend off.

"Talk to me."

"Get off."

"About Charlie." Roxy slumped back into the sofa. Tears blurred her vision once again and razor claws of icy, unrelenting guilt burrowed into and was viciously yanking on her heart. "Come on." Christine encouraged gently. "You may not want to, but it's no good bottling it up." Roxy stubbornly remained quiet. Christine didn't move, not even when Roxy tried to wiggle free. "_Talk_." She ordered.

"I miss him." Roxy breathed, her bottom lip trembling as tears splashed onto the cushions. "I hate what I did, but if he got hurt..." She felt Christine's hand rest on her shoulder again and the floodgates smashed open. Roxy couldn't manage any more coherent words. Christine got off when she started to struggle to breathe through heavy sobs. "I'm a horrible person." She choked. Christine shushed her and gently brushed hair from Roxy's forehead. "He hates me, I know he does."

"No, honey, _no_. Charlie would _never_ hurt you."

"You... you didn't see... you didn't see the l-l-look h-h-he ga-gave me."

"Roxy, don't-"

"E-e-ev-even if t-t-the En-Enf-Enforc-cers were g-g-gone, h-h-he w-w-won't take m-me b-b-back."

"You don't know that." Roxy shook her head and hid her face in her arms. Christine tugged lightly on Roxy's ponytail. "Do you really think Charlie would go from swearing to lay down his life for you to hating you in a matter of seconds?" Roxy just cried more. Christine sighed. The doorbell rang, but not even the waft of Roxy's favourite pizza could pull her from her misery. In the end, she cried herself to sleep. Christine ate the pizza, sitting at Roxy's feet. She saved some for her for later, but with her in this state, there was no knowing what her appetite would be like. She would either eat everything in sight until she was sick or not eat anything at all.

Christine glared at the blank TV screen. She was going to get them back together if it killed her. Or, more accurately, if it killed anyone else. Say, the Enforcers for starters...


	20. Inner demons

Charlie, after accidently blasting his father across the room and vanishing, had stayed at his grandmother's for the past nine days. Violet, Alfie's mother, didn't mind. It wasn't often she got one-to-one time with the grandkids, although she did feel a bit guilty for leaving the younger nine out. So, naturally, she brought them all gifts and a big batch of cookies they were still battling their way through. Violet, like Charlie, had a slightly over-whelming, but endearing way of looking after those she loved _and_ knew when and what to talk and not talk about. She never mentioned Roxy once unless Charlie said something first.

"Something's burning." Charlie pointed out. Violet squealed and disappeared in the blink of an eye. Charlie heard her clattering about in the kitchen and then the smoke alarms went off. That's when Damian ran in. Charlie leant to the left to watch the commotion; he couldn't really see much past Damian, a big muscular man about six foot seven with thick dark hair and currently amused brown eyes. Charlie caught a glimpse of Violet's auburn braid swishing past Damian's elbow- she was a foot and half shorter than him, something he liked to tease her about- and then no more of her. Smoke furled into the kitchen until one of them had the sense to open a window. Charlie got up to wave a magazine at the smoke alarm, which had now set his ears ringing.

The smoke cleared faster with a little help from Violet, who used a little of her elemental powers to swish the smoke out. Damian was scraping cookie-charcoal hybrids from the tray into the bin, not even wearing an oven mitt. He controlled fire and heat was no trouble to him.

"I'll make another batch!" Violet declared, emerald eyes determined. Damian grabbed her by the arm, sighing and shaking his head, smiling. Violet made a face at him and bounced back to her eldest grandson. "OK, so maybe not cookies. How about pizza? Oh! We could bowling! I've wanted to go bowling for _ages_, but Sir Stroppy out there hates to lose."

"We went bowling last weekend and I didn't lose, it was a tie."

"Such things are unheard of." Violet waved it aside. She elbowed Charlie, grinning. "Bowling it is. Or the cinema! Oooh, I want to jump out a plane."

"Oh Seltik, help us." Damian took Violet by the hand and made her met his stern, but warm gaze. "Charlie doesn't need eccentricity right now, he needs something calm." Damian turned to Charlie. "Why don't you go paint or draw?" Charlie shook his head and loked at the magazine he was still holding. The concerned look the older pair shared went unnoticed. He had tried to continue with his creativity, but whatever he produced he was never happy with. When he closed his eyes to envision a piece to draw, he saw Roxy. He could stare at the town around him for hours, the trees, the cars, the people, the shops- nothing suited the canvas but Roxy.

"No." Charlie said. "I need eccentricity." Violet brightened and shot to her feet.

"Plane jump!"

"No plane jump!"

"Fine! Helicopter!"

"Vi!"

"If you don't let me jump from something very high up, I'm going out the window! Several times!"

"What's she on?"

"I don't even know." Damian ran his hands through his hair. Charlie mentally saluted him for sticking with Violet and her craziness over the many, many years.

* * *

Violet must have sent the word out because the rest of the Yatchmans were at the bowling alley when they turned up. Leon was bowling, but Charlie willed it to spin slightly into a gutterball. Leon didn't notice the mutant imput, scowling at his misfortune. Lucy teased him- "Told you! No strike for you!"- and then noticed the new guests. "Charlie!" She rushed forward and crushed her older brother's ribs. "Long time no see, bro!" Violet made a noise in protest and Lucy laughed, moving to hug her nan. "Yes, I missed you too, Vi." They never called Violet 'nan' or 'grandma'; it made her feel old.

"Just in time for your turn." Alfie smiled, holding up a ball for Charlie. Charlie returned the smile feebly, looking up at the scoreboard. He, Violet and Damian- who had been nicknamed Sasquatch- were the last ones on the board. Having a big family did help sometimes, say turning up a little late.

He managed a spare that first go. Violet missed completely and stole Sasquatch's turn, which he didn't seem to mind. It got him points.

By his third go, Charlie felt a little better. It was good to see all his siblings again- even little Connor was managing to play too, using a rail slide to tip the ball down the alley. Leon and Lucy were bickering over who was the better bowler, the triplets were whispering and debating how best to break the system and win, while Megan and Mitchell helped themselves to the snacks. Chloe was talking to Joe, sipping at an orange juice. Alfie was making fun of his mother's height with Damian. Violet kicked them both in the shins and stole Alfie's go, giving him a gutter ball and ruining his near perfect score.

"I thought you'd be fatter." Leon said, poking Charlie's stomach. At his brother's quizzical look, he rolled his eyes. "All that time at Vi's, her feeding you like a pig for slaughter. Like Hansel and Gretel minus the witch." Violet laughed maniacally right that second.

"Sure about that?"

"Not now I'm not." Leon bumped his shoulder against Charlie's. "Bet I can beat you." Lucy dropped into the seat on Charlie's left, puffing a curl of hair from her eyes.

"Don't listen to him. He's been making bets since we left to come here- he hasn't got two coins to rub together."

"I so do!" To prove his point, Leon drew a fifty pence piece and a two pence from his pocket and scraped them against each other. Lucy flicked the coins from his hand and he left them for Connor to pick up.

"Leon, we all know you can never win a bet." Charlie smirked. "_I_, on the other hand, bet _you_ that supposedly secret stash of chocolate under the wardrobe in your room that I can beat you." Leon frowned.

"No."

"Because he knows he'll lose!" Lucy exclaimed gleefully, bouncing in her seat.

"Fine!" He held his hand out to Charlie and they shook.

"Got any Snickers?"

"Shut up."

There was a Snickers. Leon wasn't happy.

* * *

Charlie went home with his parents that night, lying on his bed and examining the ceiling. He had tried drawing a few times, but had torn the sheets from the booklet and scrunched them up. Leon's Snickers tasted sickly now and Charlie felt like his stomach suddenly hated him. He balanced his pencil on his top lip, letting it fall when Leon barged in.

"Talk."

"Hello, Leon. How are you? Thank you for the Snickers, I did enjoy it-"

"Not that talk. _Talk_." Charlie recovered his pencil, making a mustache of it again. Leon glowered at him. "Charlie, can't you take anything seriously?" The pencil toppled again.

"If I did that, there would be consequences."

"Like what?" Leon demanded. Charlie just hummed, that hum that Leon had grown to know as _I'm not going to tell you_. "Charlie." He warned. "All these years that you've been helping me, it's only fair that I help you in return." Charlie waved the pencil at him.

"That, dear brother, is where you are sorely mistaken. I, as the older brother, am entitled to care for my younger siblings in anyway I can. You, as the second eldest, look after those younger than you, but not those older than you because they can take care of themselves."

"Can you?"

"Very much so." Charlie said, standing the pencil on its end and trying to balance it on his forehead.

"You're lying."

"I don't lie. Especially not to family."

"Then if you can take care of yourself and you're OK, why is there so much paper everywhere? Failed drawings." Leon added. Charlie looked about at his mess and realised he had torn out more pages than he originally thought.

"My muse is missing."

"Your muse."

"Yes." Leon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "My muse is missing."

"Just for once, try to be serious. _Please_."

"No."

"I need you to."

"You don't need to see that."

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"I know you're hurting, Charlie, but you're bottling it up. Again."

"I'm fine."

"Roxy." Charlie's easy smile looked pained instantly. "Feeling fine now?" Leon challenged. Charlie clenched his jaw; he wanted to say he was OK, but he didn't lie. Leon marched forward and sat heavily on the end of Charlie's bed. Charlie sat up, tucking the pencil behind his ear. Leon handed him his sketch pad. Charlie held it in both hands, looking at it blankly and chewing his lip. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever is on your mind." Charlie shook his head.

"You don't want to know."

"Try me."

"I'm serious, Leon." Charlie said, looking up at him without lifting his head. Leon stayed quiet. Charlie set aside his sketch book and retrieved the pencil, twisting it between his fingers. "I'm more of a mess than you think. And not because of... of what happened." Leon frowned. Charlie shook his head again. "It doesn't matter." He reached under his pillow. "Here." A Snickers. "I did eat your one, but I had this from the other day."

"I'm not taking your chocolate."

"Would it help if I said I had my fingers crossed when we shook on that?"

"Maybe..." Charlie waggled the chocolate bar in his brother's face. Leon relented after a few seconds, tearing off the wrapper and wolfing the Snickers down.

"Pig."

"I get it from you."

"Totally." Charlie ruffled Leon's hair. "Now get out. You're cramping my style."

"You have no style."

"I have more style than you could ever dream of."

"Whatever floats your boat."

"Goat." Charlie corrected instantly. "I don't want a boat, so I've got a goat. And he swims. Or floats." Charlie nudged him with his foot. "Goodbye, dear brother of mine. I shall see you on the yesterday."

"I'm not even going to ask. When you've stopped being an idiot, we'll talk later. No getting out of it." Leon left. Charlie slumped back on his bed and sighed. Nope, nope, nope.


	21. Park

"You're making yourself miserable."

"I _am _Miserable. Capital 'm'." Christine sighed. Roxy was being too melodramatic for her liking. Usually it was the other way around, she wasn't used to this.

"Put the phone down." Christine ordered. Roxy bit her lip and her brow furrowed in defiance. She was scrolling through the endless selfies Charlie had taken of her and him whenever he stole her phone- which had been quite often. Charlie also had the habit of taking pictures of everything he found interesting which was _everything_. "Roxy, your conscience demands it."

"Sorry, Jiminy Cricket, I didn't realise my Misery- capital 'm'- was pulling you down too."

"Of course it would. As your best friend _and_ conscience, your misery, capital 'm' or not, is depressing."

"Hence the misery." Christine leant forward and snatched the phone from Roxy's hand. "Hey!" Christine glowered at her, locking the phone and promptly sitting on it. Roxy huffed and hid her face in the cushions again. "You cow." Her voice was muffled, but clearly annoyed.

"It's for your own good. It's not nice to see you constantly moping around and it's really getting to me now, you're so aggravating."

"Dear me, I do apologise immensely, my highness. How in the name of your holiness could I make it up to you?"

"No need to be sarcastic, but we're going shopping."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. Get up, have a shower and for Pete's sake, brush your hair!"

"I like it messy."

"Well I don't and my opinion is far more important than yours, we've already established this." Roxy sighed and pushed herself up, padding off. She didn't have the energy to battle against Christine today. Besides, she fancied a chocolate muffin or two from her favourite little café outside the park. "Don't just stand there!" Christine's sharp voice cut through her foggy thoughts, startling her. "You've five minutes to get ready or I'm dragging you out in whatever state you're in, I don't care." Roxy looked at her disbelievingly. Her friend struggled for a moment and then stomped her foot in frustration. "OK, fine! You are not going anywhere with me if you look like a tramp!"

"Love you too." Roxy muttered.

* * *

They cut through the park for lunch. Christine was weighed down with bags of clothes and shoes and more bags, whereas Roxy only had a small Stitch toy she had picked up in a charity shop. Christine had refused to step foot inside said charity shop and waited a good distance from it. "What's wrong with charity shops?"

"They smell."

"And?"

"I don't like it."

"But you get bargains in charity shops."

"Other people's junk, more like."

"One man's junk is another man's treasure. Or woman's." Christine _mmph_'ed through her nose and gathered her bags, stalking off with her head held high. Roxy hurried after her, waving the Stitch about in her face.

"Get off! It smells!"

"It does not!"

"You wash that when you get home, I am not having charity shop stench ruining anything."

"You're such a drama queen."

"Says you." Roxy ignored her. She was scanning the park for a certain redhead. She knew Charlie often came here to draw or paint for people in the public or sell some of his other work. He used to take her to the little café afterwards and buy her hot chocolate and two double chocolate muffins. Roxy stopped dead in her tracks. She didn't want to go the café anymore. It would just remind her of Charlie. And… what if he was there? What would she say to him? What would _he_ say to _her_? Oh god, she couldn't do this…

Christine stopped and looked back. "Roxy? What's wrong?"

"I want to go home." Christine just nodded, walking back. She put down a handful of shopping to give her best friend a one-armed hug. "I want him back." Roxy mumbled.

"I know." Christine patted her on the back. "I know."

* * *

**Sorry it's short and kind of poo, I'm trying to think what to do before I get to my big idea. Sorry! **


	22. Brothers

**This one originally came from me seeing some Hiro and Tadashi brotherly fan art and then I wanted to write more of Charlie being a big brother, but I'm putting it here just because I can and because it's what I have.**

* * *

"Oooh no! Someone has a frowny face!" Six year old Connor scowled and promptly turned his back on his eldest brother. Charlie was not so easily deterred, vaulting the back of the sofa and dropping into the seat next to him. "What's the matter, bro?" Connor hunched his shoulders, arms folded. Charlie smoothed down Connor's hair; it only flicked back into its messy state within seconds, giving Charlie a reason to try and braid it. "I can't help if you don't tell me."

"I'm short." Connor snapped.

"You're only six."

"I don't grow."

"Sure you do! Here, I'll prove it." Charlie scooped him up easily and carried him to the door. He pulled a marker from his pocket. "OK, here's what we're going to do. Every so often, I'm going to measure how tall you are. Stand against the door frame- no, don't stand on your toes, that's cheating. Keep still…" Charlie pulled the lid from the marker with his teeth and scribbled a line above Connor's head on the door frame. "There." He said proudly. Connor stepped away and inspected the line, measuring its height with his own with his hand.

"When will I grow?"

"Oh, it takes time." Charlie smiled. "Here, let me show you something." He picked Connor up again, this time sitting him on his shoulders. Connor finally got to be taller than all his other siblings, pulling faces at them and laughing. Charlie stopped on the second floor and set him down. Connor frowned at the doorway to Charlie's room. Charlie was running his fingers down the frame, muttering, "Where is it, where is it, where is it… aha! Here, look. At six years old, _I_ was shorter than _you_. See, stand there again." Charlie drew another line. Connor noticed Charlie had somehow drawn on his face and decided not to mention it. "See, I told you." Charlie sat on the floor next to him. "I was _really_ short at six years old."

"But you are tall now."

"I grew." Charlie poked him gently in the stomach. "And you will too. Give yourself time, OK?" Connor looked back at the lines.

"OK."

"Want to do some painting?"

"Really?" Connor brightened. Charlie smiled and nodded. "Yes please!"

Charlie let Connor paint on a big canvas, splashing paint around and letting out some pent up energy. He had tried to paint too, but his muse was still gone. Even throwing handfuls of paint had lost some of its fun. Connor didn't seem to mind as he got to work on his masterpiece all on his own. "Charlie?" He asked. Charlie hummed in recognition. Connor surveyed his splatter painting for a moment, different colours dripping from his hands. "Where is Roxy? Why does she not come over anymore?"

"She, um… had other ideas."

"Will she come back? I want to show her my painting." Connor turned to look at him then. "Are you OK?" He moved forward, putting his hands on Charlie's. "You look like you will be sick."

"I'm OK. Just… shaky. Look at the mess you've made!"

"Charlie." Connor didn't even look round at his mess. "Are you OK? Don't say shaky. What is wrong?"

"Well, my baby brother is putting paint all over me. That's one thing for a start."

"What about Roxy?"

"I don't know."

"Leon and Lucy said she dumped you. What does that mean?"

"It means… it means she… she left and…"

"Why?"

"I was trouble."

"You're not trouble. Not always." Connor added. He patted Charlie's arm reassuringly, smiling. "You are a good brother. Bit annoying, but good." Charlie returned the smile weakly. Connor hugged him; neither cared that they were quickly covered in paint. "I am sorry Roxy left. But she will come back. She said she loved you. Like Daddy loves Mummy. They together. Roxy will come back." Charlie kissed his brother's forehead.

"I hope you're right, Connor. I hope you're right."

"I am. I always am."

"Fathead."


	23. Internal struggle

**To ThatFanWarrior- YEAH, SIBLING BONDING. AREN'T I LOVELY? :D**

* * *

"What _is_ all that racket?"

"I don't know, but people are running from it. Should we really be walking towards it? Ronald!" Marie scolded. "Ronald, do be serious! It sounds dangerous!" Her husband marched on nonetheless. Marie scurried after him, demanding he listen to her and not go towards the sounds of explosions and people screaming and the odd burst of maniacal laughter. Roxy kept up with them as best she could, but for old people they moved _fast_.

Marie caught up with Ronald, grabbed his arm and yanked him to a halt. Roxy was two steps away when they staggered back. A grey car smashed into the ground where they had been standing. Ronald stood before his small family, arms spread. A well-built figure darted around the car, hooking his hands under the front bumper and hurling back. Roxy's breath hitched. He looked as tired as he did when she last saw him, splattered with dirt, grease and blood. A bow and quiver of arrows lay across his back and his left arm was tightly bandaged, a scarlet flower blossoming through the material.

Charlie glanced at them, looked away and then did a double-take. His eyes lingered on Roxy for a second too long, some other man dropping in from nowhere and slammed him to the ground. This attacker was taller, looked physically stronger and radiated chills and darkness. Roxy saw he had dark hair and was dressed in black from head to foot, but that was it. He and Charlie were grappling at each other, the man intent on clawing at Charlie's eyes with his talon-like fingers. "Away..." Marie squeaked. She took her husband and daughter by the arms and pulled them back, muttering, "Away, away, away..." Roxy struggled, but it was useless. Even if she could escape her over-protective mother's iron grip, how was she to help Charlie against this mutant foe? She was only human.

That's when the air around them seemed to explode. More laughter rang through the street, warmer this time, far more excited, coupled with whoops of joy. The man straightened, his foot on Charlie's throat. Roxy took a step forward, but a Transformer got there first.

Or that was her first thought. It was really the grey car mangled and twisted and shredded stomping towards this man and dashing him aside like some pesky fly. He flew through the air, but rolled and landed on his feet.

"Metal magic! Ahaha, you're here! Excellent!"

"Metal magic?" Mr. Roundshore repeated. "That can't be right; mutants lost the ability to control metal centuries ago."

"Charlie!" Roxy pushed her parents aside. The grey car creature had crumpled into debris, oil making a dark stain on the tarmac. "Charlie, are you OK? Who is that guy?" Charlie sat up, rubbing his throat. He looked at her blearily.

"Roxy." He croaked. "You... you have to go. If he sees you-"

"Charlie-"

"He'll kill you. And your parents."

"But you're hurt-" He shook his head, forcing himself up. He swayed, but waved aside her helping hand. "Charlie-"

"Please." He looked at her again, his voice still hoarse. He pulled his bow over his head and notched an arrow. "Get to safety." His eyes locked onto her parents and she was being dragged away.

"No! No, Charlie, no!" He bit his lip, holding back something he was dying to say. But, with a shake of his head, he ran back to help his family. Roxy recognised Alfie, Jo, the twins and Megan before her parents forced her to turn around. "Let me go!" She ordered.

"Roxy, stop." Her father did not raise his voice. There was something in it that made her freeze, something she had not heard since childhood. When she looked at him, there was no loving father; there was only a hard and detached look. One he had often given her as a child when she misbehaved. Ronald Roundshore had no time for quarrels and soft talk. "If you really care about him that much, maybe you should go back."

"But the Enforcers-"

"Are jerks paid far too much for far too little." Marie concluded. "You know how we feel about what you did. We understand _why_, yes, but that doesn't mean we like or agree with it." Roxy hung her head, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes stung. "Sweetheart, if you miss him that much-"

"I can't go back to him, I just _can't_. I need to know he's OK." She said quietly, trying to squirm from their hold. The sounds of the fighting were just about audible now. What if Charlie got hurt fighting that guy though? What if the last thing he had ever asked of her was to ensure her safety? She had never told him she was sorry, she had never told him she regretted every second of it, she had never told him she wanted to draw a line under all this mess and start over. _She had never told him she loved him._ That _she_ loved _him. _

She couldn't go back. She couldn't take him back. Even if he made it through that fight, even if he didn't hate her, the Enforcers would hunt him down and force him through whatever means of 'eradication' they took. She had heard stories. Sometimes it was a bullet in the brain. Over times, there were experiements, there were tortures, there were things so horrifically vivid and graphic, it made her stomach churn just thinking about the _slightest_ method. How could she put Charlie through that?

* * *

**Right, no more filler chapters. I'm going to post my ideas. I've waited FOREVER to post the next chapter, you guys have no idea. **

**Last thing though- I have a poll up. I thought of it about two o'clock yesterday morning and now I REALLY need an answer to it, so please and thank you! :D **


	24. Dylan

"What do you mean you've seen him and didn't get back together?! Right, that's it! We're coming over!"

"We?"

"Dylan and me."

"Who the hell is _Dylan_?"

"My boyfriend."

"You have a boyfriend and you didn't tell me?"

"Well, it wasn't exactly _tactful_. Dylan, get your shoes on, hun, we're leaving. I need to slap some sense into my best friend." Roxy heard a rumble of laughter in the background.

"How much did you pay him?"

"If I paid him, it would be prostituion. And you know how I feel about that."

"Um, aren't you planning to have the whole Sin City thing and stuff as your business?"

"Do not judge an amazing entrepreneur, Roxy, we've been over this."

"I'm not even going to ask right now. Who the hell is Dylan?"

"You'll see. Be there in ten." Christine cut off. Roxy sighed and tossed her phone to the side. Christine gave her a headache. In the good sense, in most cases, but still a headache. For gods' sake, who was this _Dylan_? Questions whipped around her mind and Roxy was all for giving her friend a right talking to... on the other hand though, Christine hadn't said anything because of what had happened with Charlie. Roxy couldn't decide if she agreed with Christine's decision or wanted to slap her friend silly for holding back such juicy news. Stern words it was going to be. But first- she had to get dressed. She had been planning on having a duvet day today, on the sofa, watching _Friends_ and eating mint choc chip ice-cream. Not for much longer.

"Could I _be_ wearing more clothes?" Joey asked, with a pointed look at Chandler. Roxy sighed again, pausing her favourite pasttime and disentangling herself from her bedding. She stretched and frowned at the clock. It wasn't even lunchtime yet, for crying out loud!

* * *

Christine arrived, throwing open Roxy's front door. Roxy, still in the shower, startled and dropped the conditioner bottle on her foot. _Whose idea was it to give Christine a key?! _

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"IN THE SHOWER."

"GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" There was a slight pause. "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND GET OUT HERE!" Christine corrected. Roxy sighed and flicked the shower off. She would have a bruise on her foot later, dammit Christine!

Dylan turned out to be a tall, dark hair, lean guy with an easy smile and a warm brown gaze. He was dressed casually in a long-sleeved blue T-shirt and black cargo trousers. He had his feet propped up on the coffee table, easily at home. Roxy stared at him until he got the hint to remove his feet. "You!" Christine raged, yanking on Roxy's towel hat.

"Ow! Watch it, my hair is in that!"

"I don't care! You don't deserve hair!"

"What?"

"_You left Charlie_!"

"I know!" Roxy glared at her. "Don't you think I've had this argument already?"

"WIth _who_?"

"Mum. Dad. Me. I don't need it from you too!"

"Well, tough! You're going to get it! For pete's sake, Roxanne, you love that boy!" Roxy turned away. Dylan was dutifully staring at the blank TV screen on the pretense of giving them a little privacy, but it was impossible for him to _not_ hear them. Christine launched into a massive rant of how could Roxy have been so stupid; it was obviously something she hated herself for; she should still be with Charlie, Enforcers or no; call him and sort this out; don't just stand, look at me when I'm talking to you! "Oh, hun, don't start crying! I didn't mean to yell!"

"Yeah, you did." Roxy sniffled, wiping her eyes on the tail of her towel hat. "You have every right to, but... don't."

"I'll stop." Christine hugged her. "You need to get changed, Rox. Don't want Dylan to think you're a tramp."

"My home isn't a cardboard box, Chrissie, I think he's got that."

"Whatever." Christine tugged playfully on the towel. "Go and put something else on, something decent. I'll put the kettle on." Roxy just nodded.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Roxy was sat in her armchair in jeans and Harry Potter T-shirt, her hair still wrapped in the towel. Christine and this Dylan bloke were curled up on the sofa. All three of them were nursing cups of tea.

"So." Roxy said.

"Roxy, this is Dylan. Dylan, this is Roxy. The nutter I told you about."

"Gathered." Dylan smiled. "Hello. Nice to meet you at last." He leant forward, hand out. Roxy shook it.

"Nice to know you actually exist. Chrissie, talk."

"Well, we kind of ran into each other in the cinema. He works there, free popcorn!"

"Literally the only reason she's dating me."

"You're not supposed to know that, shush. Anyway, he gave me his number, I rang him later, we met up for lunch and boom! Mine!"

"Just like that?"

"Yup."

"You're not telling me something."

"He's not frigid- or _nervous_." Christine tilted her head to Roxy, smirking. Roxy just sighed and sipped her drink. Dylan just looked confused. He had obviously stepped into some girl-chat and had no idea what it was about and nor would he ever. Roxy made to something, but Christine cut across. "Don't give me that lecture, I've heard it all before."

"I am not babysitting anyone's little brats."

"And I was going to make you godmother."

"No thanks."

"Don't you want kids of your own?"

"Wait a second-" Dylan held up his hands. Christine patted his knee and smiled.

"No, I'm not pregnant. Don't panic." She turned back to Roxy while Dylan sighed in relief. "You're so uptight." Roxy pursed her lips. "Don't you give me that look, I know what I'm doing. You, however, are completely oblivious to the world of romance."

"Uh-huh." Roxy muttered absent-mindedly. Her thoughts had strayed back to Charlie. She really shouldn't have let them, but they did. It was Christine's comment about 'frigid' and '_nervous_'. Charlie hadn't been either of those things, he had been sweet and considerate and he had really just been looking out for her at the end of the day.

A Nokia ringtone cut her from her thoughts. She looked up to see Dylan pull out his phone and answer.

"Hullo mate." He grinned. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. No, I'm with Christine and her friend. Don't be rude, this is just- OK, OK, I'll meet you. Go away." He hung up. "Sorry, I have to go."

"Which one now?"

"Mac."

"Ooh, he's annoying."

"I know. He's been my friend for ten years, how'd you think I feel?" Dylan stooped to kiss Christine goodbye, thanked Roxy for having him over and left.

"Isn't he _hot_?" Christine gushed the second the door shut. Roxy hunched her shoulders. "See, now you're the frigid one!" Her eyes swivelled to the door and she sighed dreamily. "He's got eyes like sweet, smooth Galaxy chocolate!"

"Why are they all food?"

"That is literally the only thing in my life that really matters."

"I feel the love." Roxy grumbled. "How long have you been together?"

"About five weeks. Nearly six."

"Wow."

"I know right?" Christine set her tea down and bounced excitedly in her seat, curling her legs beneath her and planting her elbows on the arm. Lacing her fingers under her chin, she sighed again. "I literally walked in the cinema, saw him and was like 'did it just get hotter in here or is that you'?"

"Ew."

"Shut up. Just because you're still at Flirting one-oh-one, doesn't mean I didn't reach masterclass."

"No, that's just... cheesy."

"It worked, didn't it?" Roxy waved it aside. Christine pulled the cushions towards her and bundled them behind her back. She took a minute to get comfortable and then looked at Roxy, dead serious. "What are you going to do?"

"Probably take this towel off my hair, it's soaking my T-shirt."

"Not what I meant."

"I know what you meant and I don't know. What can I do?"

"Call him. And don't come out with the whole Enforcers thing again, we get it. But wouldn't it be better to get a little time with him rather than none at all?" Roxy slouched in her seat, feeling the tears coming back. "Ooh, this goes further, doesn't it?"

"Maybe."

"No, it most definitely does! Call him!"

"I can't."

"Yes you can, you are not physically unable to do so."

"I'm _emotionally_ unable to do so."

"Woman up, Roxanne!"

"Don't call me Roxanne!"

"It gets your attention, doesn't it?" Roxy fumed. Christine retrieved her phone from her pocket, unlocked it and held it out to Roxy. "Just call him." Roxy shook her head. "If you don't call him, I will." Christine said stubbornly. Roxy clenched her jaw, folding her arms over her chest. "Five," Christine started, "four, three..." She tapped at the phone screen, "two..." Her thumb hovered over the dial button.

"Don't call him!"

"Why not?"

"Because... because..."

"I'm calling him." Roxy lunged forward and smacked Christine's phone from her hand. It hit the table, an almighty crack spiderwebbing across the whole screen.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Christine barely noticed, watching Roxy concernedly.

"You need to call him. You need _him_. You're not you anymore."

* * *

**OK, just so you know, Dylan is basically Dylan O'Brien because the friend Christine is based on insists that he wants her babies and such, very obsessive :P To Real Christine- that chapter we talked about... possibly the next one, I couldn't work it into this chapter! To all, that chapter that I mentioned- I'm putting that back to the one after this one, so I can get things levelled out a little, but I'll definitely post it! :D **


	25. Christine is not creepy

Roxy's phone started singing 'Stayin' Alive' halfway through Chandler and Monica's wedding. She had to pause when she saw it was Christine ringing her. "What?" She demanded. "I'm watching _Friends_, can't this wait?"

"It most certainly can not! I am your _friend_, you don't need those other ones. Besides, they're American, I'm _here_. You know, on the other end of the phone and-"

"Cutting into my _Friends_ time, yes. What do you want?"

"One of Dylan's friends just called me creepy!"

"Where is this friend now?"

"In the other room."

"Want me to talk to him?" Christine hummed indecisively. "Look, I'll just tell him you aren't creepy, you're just very excitable."

"He's a fucking asshole!"

"Calm."

"I am calm!" Christine made a noise in irritation and there was a thud. Roxy counted to ten and she returned, forced serenity in her voice. "Hello, dear friend of mine. You don't think I'm creepy, do you?"

"As a whole, no. Some of the stuff you can come out with can come across as creepy, but you're my best friend, so I'm kind of used to it by now." Christine huffed. "Don't let Dylan's mate get to you. He's clearly missing out on your awesomeoness."

"Damn fucking straight!"

"Calm!" Roxy reminded. "You're such a little madam."

"I am not! I am incredibly reasonable, you're being an asshat."

"Why is it an asshat? We don't put hats on our asses unless it's a donkey ass instead of a butt ass."

"What? Stop being confusing, I'm in a dire situation!" Roxy just laughed. "You little bitch, after all I've done for you."

"See? Little. _Madam_." Christine hung up. Roxy called her straight back. "Want me to talk to this friend of the bae's?"

"Don't call him bae, I don't like that word. And no, don't talk to this _friend _of his, I'm going to do it. I'm going to give that asshat a piece of my mind and he _so_ isn't going to like it! He calls me creepy, I will be fucking creepy, I will haunt his nightmares until his dying day!"

"See, now that's creepy."

"Excellent!" Christine exclaimed happily. "I'll talk to you later, I'm off to freak out an asshat."

"Have fun!"

* * *

**I have a poll up. I'm closing it on Sunday, considering I remember, so please go and vote! :D **


	26. I can be nice!

**And the chapter you have all been waiting for! Aren't you lot lucky, me updating so much today? :P**

* * *

Charlie had taken to drawing and painting people in the park again. He didn't particularly want tod o it, but he was fed up being stuck indoors with sympathetic looks from all directions. He was fed up being treated like a bomb primed to blow at any second. He was fed up. Fed. Up. With everything. It had been three months since Roxy left him, but it hurt as fiercely as it had the day it happened.

"Are you alright?" His customer asked. This one was Marlo, a brunette in his thirties with friendly green eyes. He was a regular of Charlie's, buying potraits, landscapes and abstracts from him. "You seem really quiet."

"Just concentrating." Marlo raised his eyebrows disapprovingly. Charlie sketched his jawline. "Keep still." He forced a smile. Marlo leant forward.

"Charlie, I think you've known me long enough to not concentrate or for me to keep still. What's happened? Usually you talk non-stop and don't look so... defeated." Charlie started shading in Marlo's hair. His customer didn't sit back or take his eyes from Charlie.

"There." Charlie said a few minutes later. He turned the sketch pad towards Marlo. He didn't even look at it, his eyes boring into Charlie's. "Marlo?"

"I'm not stupid, Charlie. Something has happened. What is it?"

"Don't you worry about me, I'm fine. Just tired, is all."

"Something on your mind?"

"No. No." Charlie handed the sketch pad over and started packing his supplies. "Can't sleep. I'm off for a coffee, can I get you anything?" Marlo regarded him for a moment, looked down at the drawing and back again.

"No thank you." He eventually said. He rose, holding out the sketch pad. "Maybe you should call it a day, skip the coffee and go home. Get some sleep." Charlie shook his head, slinging the strap of his bag over his shoulder and tucking the canvases under his arm. Marlo looked ready to protest, but he didn't. He paid for his drawing, told Charlie if he needed to talk he was there and left. Charlie watched him go, making sure he went. Then he turned on his heel and walked off. One thing he liked about the park was that his favourite coffee shop was just across the road from the gate.

He dumped his stuff in his usual seat by the window and joined the short queue. Marlo had given him ten pounds, slightly crumpled, but enough to get two coffees and some food. The bell on the door tinkled as someone walked in. He sensed someone stop behind him, heard them fumbling in a bag and muttering to themself.

There was a sharp intake of breath and a dull thud as the bag fell to the floor. He turned.

"Roxy."

"Charlie..." She whispered. Tears welled in her eyes and she hurriedly stooped to gather her bag.

"Can I help you?" The cashier called. Charlie gripped Roxy's elbow as she stood unsteadily, turning away before she could say anything.

"Two hot chocolates please and..." He eyed the cake display. "Two blueberry muffins and an apple pie." Roxy cottoned on to what he was doing and tried to get money from her purse with fumbling fingers. Charlie waved her down and paid, dropping the change in the charity pot.

"You didn't have to do that." She said quietly. "Let me pay you back." Charlie shook his head, giving a small smile. He hadn't seen her for two months- she was far more beautiful than he remembered. She was wearing her regular jeans and a cream top under a navy blue cardigan. Her ebony hair was fashioned in a French braid down her back, her fringe pinned back with hair slides. Her eyes gleamed like sapphires, darting back and forth anxiously. Once or twice they rested on him and hurriedly flicked away.

Their order arrived on a tray. Charlie carried it over to his usual table. She trailed along behind him. He watched as she hesitated on the other side of the table.

"Here." He put her hot chocolate and blueberry muffins before her. "You can sit down; I don't bite." She smiled sheepishly and sat, shifting nervously. Charlie poked at his apple pie with his fork. "How are you?"

"Oh, um... a-alright, I suppose. Um... you?" Charlie just nodded, sipping at his drink, watching her over the rim of his mug. She wasn't alright. He could see that much. "How's, um, how's the art going?"

"Usual." He set his mug down. Roxy picked at a muffin. "I miss you." Her bottom lip trembled and she sniffed.

"I miss you too."

"Come back." Tears fell. He conjured a tissue instantly and passed it over. Her hands were shaking. "Please."

"I- I can't..." She met his eyes. "They'll kill you." She said in a barely audible voice. "Like this... I- I know that... that you're s-safe a-and... alive." Charlie made to say something, but she shook her head. "Don't." She pleaded, her voice catching. "I- I have to go."

"Roxy, wait-" She had already gone. Charlie sprang up and after her. "Roxy!" He could see her, walking quickly through the crowds. Her shoulders were hunched, arms folded. She was crying. Charlie hurried after her, calling her name. She got through the crowds easier than him, heading towards her car. "Roxy!" He despaired. He struggled for another moment and then, "Marry me!"

It was like someone had freeze-framed the moment. Roxy came to an abrupt halt, her hand flying up to catch a shocked gasp. Her heart hammered against her ribs. Her stomach churned like a million butterflies were trying to swirl up her esophagus. She stumbled round to face him, her legs like packs of wet cement. Charlie stood ten feet away. No-one stood between him and her, having moved aside upon hearing his proposal. They were watching eagerly.

Charlie's eyes were fixed on her. His chest heaved as though he had just been pulled from drowning. "Marry me." He repeated breathlessly. Roxy was at a loss for words. She saw his shoulders tense and he stepped toward her, closing the gap. He dropped to one knee. Took hold of her hands. She was distantly aware of the crowd circling them; she had eyes only for him. "I know I don't have the ring, but I've been thinking about this for months."

"Charlie-" Her voice failed her. She gripped his hands, her tears splashing onto his knuckles.

"Come back with me, Roxy." He requested softly. "I promise, I'll keep you safe, happy."

"It's not me I'm worried about." She mumbled. "If they find us, they'll kill you."

"I don't care. If I die married to you I'll know I've done something right with my life."

"I can't let you die."

"I can't let you go." Roxy's knees gave out and he caught her, as sturdy and as warm as she remembered. He pressed his lips to her ear, his arms firmly around her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She cried, lacing her arms about his shoulders. Charlie hid his face in her hair. Roxy would have given the world to marry him there and then on the spot.

But she couldn't.

He would get himself killed.

"Roxy?" He asked quietly. She drew back to look him in the eye. She was in half a mind to say 'no', to keep him safe. Yet, she couldn't do it. He seemed to know what was going through her mind. "I can't lose you, Roxy."

"I don't want you hurt, Charlie. I'd never forgive myself."

"They could torture me for eternity. It won't hurt as much as this." The way he said 'hurt'- he was right. _This _was killing him. Not them. Not the Enforcers or even the remants of the Anti-Mutant Squad. _This _was. _She_ was. "Roxy," He was speaking in a whisper now, "Roxy, please don't leave me again. I can't... I can't handle it." She made to reply softly, but he continued. "You keep me sane. I _need_ you, please- _please_ don't go."

"On one condition." Roxy insisted, curling her fingers in his T-shirt.

"Anything for you." He promised. Roxy drew him to her and, for the first time ever, she kissed him. Charlie felt as though his insides had turned to mush and didn't know how to react.

Roxy pulled back and smiled triumphantly, still crying.

"Don't get any big ideas." He blinked a few times, still trying to reform his mind. It took a few moments and then he smiled.

"Now, I can't promise that." He gently prised her hand from his T-shirt and kissed her knuckles. "You can promise me something though."

"What?"

"Stay with me."

"Isn't that the point of getting married?"


	27. Inner demons revealed

**To ChristineIsCool- Yes they are! Woo! :D **

* * *

"And why are you so happy all of a sudden?"

"_You_," Charlie smiled triumphantly at his parents, "are paying for my wedding."

"Wait, what? Rewind and start making sense." Charlie half-turned and gestured eagerly at someone through the kitchen doorway. Roxy edged in, wringing her hands and gnawing at her lip. There was a stunned silence for a split second and then Jo burst into tears. Before either Alfie or Charlie could console her, she had rushed forward and collided with Roxy, hugging her tightly. Roxy struggled to breathe, through tears and through Jo's strong embrace.

"Don't you _ever_ pull a stunt like that _ever_ again." Jo ordered, her voice quavering. Roxy was overcome with waterworks too and nodded, returning her future mother-in-law's greeting. "Oh, thank Seltik, I wasn't sure if you'd come back." Jo looked at her son. "Don't you let this one go, mister. If I have to jinx you two together for the rest of your lives, I will."

"No, that won't be necessary." Roxy said hurriedly, pulling back to look Jo in the eye.

"Well, I don't know..." Charlie mused, examining the ceiling with a mild gleam of interest in his eyes. "Jinx together forever..."

"Charlie..." Roxy warned. He snapped back from day-dreaming and met her gaze, innocent. Alfie laughed. Jo gasped, shocked. "What?" Jo snatched up Roxy's hands, turning them over.

"_Ring_." She demanded.

"Um... haven't got one yet." Charlie stepped in. "We were on our way to get one, but Roxy figured we should tell you and her parents first."

"Do her parents know yet?"

"Yes."

"You told them first?"

"Well, that's polite. Isn't it?"

"Jo, don't pick." Alfie gently prised her from Roxy. "Let them go and get the ring and then fuss later. Or ring Maria and start wedding planning and stuff."

"Yes!" Jo beamed. She kissed Alfie's cheek and disappeared.

"_Why _did you tell her that?" Charlie despaired. "I'm not ready for the dress fitting just yet!" Roxy blinked at him. Alfie motioned for her to stay quiet, his smile telling her not to think too much into it. Charlie noticed and laughed maniacally. "Yeah, that's right! You don't want to succumb to my insanity!"

* * *

"And we are driving _because_?"

"Because it's easier."

"But it's slower." Roxy pointed out. "Can't you just do that jump teleport thing you mutants love to do?" Charlie shook his head. He had talked her round into a spontaneous holiday, just the two of them, 'to make up for lost time'. It had only been a few hours since they had announced the engagement. How he managed to book a holiday in that short space of time and pay for it, she would never know. He refused to tell her. "Charlie." He faced her, not taking his eyes of the road. "OK, first of all- when did you learn to drive?"

"I passed last year."

"And the jump thing?"

"It's _exhausting_."

"You're always doing it though."

"Short distances. And usually just me. Uh, the more the merrier does _not_ apply when it comes to jumping, trust me on that one." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to decide how best to respond. "Right, we start learning how to jump when we're thirteen or fourteen roughly. It differs for each mutant, but usually when we start going through the whole teenage situation and stuff." Roxy nodded. Charlie frowned at the road thoughtfully. "There's no one day that your parents go 'Aha! Perfect time to start jumping!' My first jump was a complete accident and it really freaked me out. I was in the kitchen, I was _starving_. I don't even know how it happened exactly, but I sneezed and then boom! I'm in Mexico! I was out cold for a week." Roxy half-laughed, half-hiccuped. Charlie shot her a sidelong quizzical look. "Say if I was to jump from yours to where we're going-"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. But yeah, say if I was to jump from yours to there with you and all this stuff," He waved at the bags they had hurriedly packed in his impulsiveness, "I would clock out for... two? Three days? Something like that."

"What happened in Mexico?"

"Mutants are everywhere. Some must have realised what had happened, found it funny, but were nice enough to take me until Mum and Dad found me. Day four, I think they managed to track me." He lifted his right hand and shook it, indicating his favourite watch- red with a red rubber strap. "This has a tracking device it in, in case I do accidently jump again and get lost."

"How many of the sibbies jump?"

"Leon, Lucy, Megan can kind of and Mitchell will probably start soon enough." He smiled. "Ah, that will be fun. _Everything_ frightens Mitchell, you can sneak up on him so easy. I bet he'll end up somewhere _awesome_."

"You're supposed to be nice to your brothers and sisters."

"I am. But I'm an older brother, don't forget, and I need to be annoying, it's my job." He flicked the indicator on to change lanes. Roxy inspected the car. "Yes, this is automatic. We're... kind of tempermental with manuals."

"Ah. Are we there yet?"

"No."

"How much longer?"

"About an hour and a bit." Roxy slumped in her seat with a defeated groan. "Why don't we play Extreme Twenty Questions?"

"Which would be...?"

"Exactly what it says it is. Like, why do you always sleep with that teddy at the end of your bed?" Roxy burned scarlet.

"H-h-how do you know that?"

"Christine. Speaking of, have you told the little madam?" Roxy cursed and scrambled for her phone. "Ahaha, she's going to kill you!"

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Christine's voice exploded through the car. Charlie flinched and rubbed at his ear. Roxy hastily apologised and adjusted the volume of the loud speaker. "Where's all your stuff? Where are _you_?"

"I'm, um, well... me and Charlie are-"

"YOU AND CHARLIE? CHARLIE, ARE YOU THERE?"

"Chrissie, you're deafening him."

"Good!"

"Not good, you know how sensitive his hearing is."

"I don't care, I want answers! Why are you with Charlie? Where are you with Charlie?"

"I will only tell you if you promise not to scream or talk or anything for the next ten minutes, OK?" Christine swore colourfully. "_Promise_," Roxy insisted, "or I'll never tell you." More swearing, but she promised. "Good girl. I ran into Charlie at that little cafe, you know, opposite the park." Roxy explained the whole encounter, including everything Charlie had said to her. His hearing must have started to come back at that point as he smiled at her. Christine was making strained, muffled noises, desperate to talk yet unable to. "And now we're off to some... where _are_ we going?"

"Not telling."

"Well, wherever it is, it's a surprise." Roxy finished. "You can talk now." Christine took a deep breath. Charlie braced himself.

"Charlie-Yachtman-do-you-have-any-idea-what-you-have-put-us-through-you-had-better-make-a-good-woman-of-my-Roxy-or-I-shall-make-you-regret-everything-you-have-ever-done-I-will-bring-hell-to-your-doorstep-do-not-think-I-won't-you-are-both-in-big-trouble-when-you-get-back-how-come-I-wasn't-told-sooner-I'm-going-to-go-and-treat-myself-to-Dylan-I-will-talk-to-you-later-considering-you've-apologised-by-then-do-not-think-for-a-second-I-am-going-to-let-this-go!" Another deep breath.

"Done?" Charlie asked.

"I feel dizzy now..."

"Go and lie down." Roxy advised.

"Wait, one last thing. I'm not ready to be an aunt just yet."

"GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL!" Roxy cried, smacking the hang up button. Charlie complained wordlessly, taking his hands from the wheel to cover his ears. "Charlie!" Roxy protested. Then she noticed he was driving with his knees against the bottom of the steering wheel.

"Must you women continously shout?" He asked a little too loudly. "My ears are ringing now!" Roxy switched the stereo off and sat quietly, putting her phone on silent, until he recovered.

"Sorry." She muttered.

"It's OK." He grimaced. "But why did you freak when she said about being an aunty? Don't you want kids?"

"Um... I don't know, a few, but... but not _now_." He just nodded. "Let's go back to this Extreme Twenty Questions game." He smirked.

"Sure about that?"

"I was, but now I'm not."

"No backing out of it." She sighed. "You first."

"Uh... what... is... what is... um... your dream job?"

"Power Ranger." He replied instantly.

"What?"

"That or to work at Hogwarts. I haven't decided. What's yours?"

"Queen of the World."

"Go big or go home." Henodded. "Next question."

"Um... what... oh gods, I don't know. Um... what... oh! What is your biggest secret?" He hissed, grip tightening on the wheel. "Charlie?" Her victory faded instantly. Normally biggest secret was also the most embarassing, but not with Charlie. Of course not with Charlie, he messed up everyone's thinking of normal. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's, err... I... I haven't told anyone before."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said softly, seeing his discomfort.

"No, no. If... Well, we're going to be married and all, so... you _should_ know..."

"Charlie, you're shaking." He opened the window. Cold air blasted in; Roxy said nothing, more concerned about the sudden deep breaths he was taking. She leant over and tapped her fingers on his knuckles. He muttered an apology and loosened his grip. "Charlie? Are you alright?" He nodded, eyes scanning the road on her side, not looking at her. He pulled over and put the hazard lights on.

"OK." He breathed. "OK."

"Charlie?" His eyes met hers then. "What's going on?"

"I, um... I am..."

"Bi?"

"No, I'm not bi."

"Then what?" He bit his lip. "Charlie, you _can_ tell me anything and only if you're comfortable with it."

"I am never comfortable with it. For the love of Seltik, I haven't even told my _parents_, what does _that_ say?"

"Haven't told them what?" He hesitated. "Does anyone know?" He shook his head. "Just you?"

"And my doctor."

"Doctor." She repeated. "OK, so... what is it?" He glanced at her briefly and then reached across to the glovebox. "Charlie?" He said nothing, dumping CD cases, a first aid pack and a pair of sunglasses in her lap. "What-?" Roxy started, but he must have found what he was looking for. He pulled out two boxes, holding them out to her and putting everything else away once she had hold of them. "What's all this?" He pointed at a slim, long orange and white box.

"Anti-depressants." He rested his finger on the second, smaller and thicker box. "Anxiety." He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through the contacts, showing her a number named _Willow_. "My counsellor." He sat back and slouched, closing his eyes and breathing in the wind still whistling about the car. Roxy stared at what he had presented to her and then over at him. A massive weight had come off his shoulders, she realised, one she hadn't noticed was there until now.

"Charlie." He opened his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You'd worry." Her attention diverted back to the medicine boxes and this _Willow_. "Roxy?"

"I _really_ wasn't expecting this."

"I'm sorry." Her head snapped round.

"No, no, no. You don't need to apologise. _I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't have... I didn't know..."

"It's OK."

"You look like you're going to be sick."

"Yup." He was up and out the car in a second.

"Charlie!" Roxy dumped everything and scrabbled over out the driver's door. "Charlie?" He was sat on the floor, his back to the rear tyre. Roxy crouched next to him, lifting her hand to touch his shoulder and then not sure if she should. He was a pale grey, lips pressed together as he drew in shaky breaths. He had his hands either side of him, palms flat to the body of the car. "Charlie," She called softly. Without moving his head, he looked at her. "Hey." She smiled. "It's alright." Her fingertips brushed his cheek. When he didn't flinch away, she held his face in her hands. "Look at me." She said firmly when he closed his eyes. He obeyed. "I promise you that it's OK. I'm glad you told me. You don't need to worry, alright? Trust me."

"Yes." His hands, cold and trembling, reached up and covered hers.

"That's it," She assured, "don't rush yourself, Charlie, just get your breath back. There we go." She beamed at him. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"N-no. Stay."

"You need to stand." She gripped his wrists and helped him up. Charlie swayed and leant against her. "Hey, look at me. We'll go for a walk up and down this bit, yeah? When you're feeling better, we'll get back in the car. I'll drive this time, just give me directions."

"Roxy?"

"Yeah?"

"You're... calmer. Than I thought you'd be."

"Well, how would you feel if I freaked out about it?" He winced, massaging his chest. "Exactly. Charlie, it doesn't bother me. Like I said, I'm glad you've told me. _Glad_. Remember that." He nodded. "Would you be alright if I asked you about it or do you want to wait until later?"

"Ask... ask now. Might not... be able to later."

"How long have you had them?"

"About five years."

"You've kept that to yourself for _five years_?" He inclined his head, his arm tightening about her shoulders. Roxy smoothed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him lightly. "And how often do you see Willow?"

"Once or twice a week."

"Has it always been like that?"

"No."

"What was it like?" He took a step, overbalanced and they both toppled into the bonnet. "Easy." Roxy choked, regaining her footing first. "I understand it's not easy to talk about, but this is me you're talking to." He pushed himself up and folded his arms around her. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"I know." He whispered. "I know. Used... used to be... four... sometimes five times... a week."

"What happened to warrant all that?" Roxy leant back slightly to watch him. His features were scrunched up, as though someone had stuck a white hot blade in his gut. Roxy shushed him kindly, stroking his hair and murmuring reassurances. In the end, he shook his head. "That's OK." Roxy kissed his cheek. "I understand."

"Want to... tell you..."

"Just breathe. Don't talk, just focus on breathing." He nodded.

"See?" He smiled waveringly five minutes later. "You... keep me sane. Told you so."

"Yes, you did. But I didn't realise you _actually_ meant it."

"I mean everything I say."

"Oh really now?" He nodded again. "Feel up to getting back in the car?"

"Window."

"Yes, I'll open the window. Do you need to, um... take anything?" Another nod. Roxy helped him stumble back to the car, opening the passenger door for him. He found a bottle of water while she walked around to the driver's side and was taking an anxiety table when she got in. "Will you be OK?"

"Mm-hm."

"Does this happen often?"

"Depends."

"On?" He drew a ragged breath as his window opened.

"Stuff."

"OK. Which way am I going?" He pointed onwards. "You do know where we're going, don't you?"

"Yes."

"No map. No Sat-Nav." He tapped his forehead.

"Strong memory." She just hummed. They drove in silence for near enough twenty minutes. "Thank you. You... you don't know how much that means to me, I've never... I've never really managed on my own. It takes longer to... to come back and... I'm glad I told you too. So... th-thank you for being so... so... understanding and... and..." Struggling to find the right words, he simply waved his hand in the air. Roxy caught hold of it, lacing their fingers.

"If I'm honest though, I never would have thought that you would have... depression and anxiety issues."

"I am very misleading."

"You don't say."

"I do say. Ta da."

"Just shut up and tell me where I'm going."

"Now, which should I do first?"

"I see you're feeling better."

* * *

**GO AND VOTE if you haven't already please and thank you! The poll closes tomorrow! :D **


	28. Sunshine

"Sooo, how's it going?"

"OK, I guess."

"_What_? You're _engaged_ and it's _OK _and me and Dylan are-"

"Don't. I don't want to know."

"Well, we're very friendly and we're _great_. Do you see where I'm going with this?" Roxy sighed. "Don't you sigh at me, young lady, you go and find that infuriating fiancé of yours and-"

"No."

"_What_?"

"No."

"_Why_?"

"Because that's my decision, now shut up." Christine blew a raspberry in protest. "Tell me about this Dylan then, we never did get a chance to talk properly." There was a rustling in the background. "Wait a second, is he there?" Christine hummed, a little _too_ proud of herself. "Chrissie! What did you _do_?"

"Well-"

"No! Don't tell me, do _not _tell me! Oh my gods..."

"Waarg-one, mush." Dylan's sleepy voice smiled.

"_What_? Charlie, don't give me that look, it's Christine and Dylan." Charlie just nodded and rummaged in his suitcase for a jumper. "What does this _waarg-one, mush_ thing mean?"

"Basically he's saying hello."

"Without sounding racist, that's... Chrissie, you're getting too black."

"Oh my gosh, thanks for noticing! I have been going for regular sun beds."

"Lord, give me strength." Charlie collapsed on the bed next to her, flopping back against the rumpled duvet. They had slept in the same bed last night, but nothing had happened further than cuddling. "You are not Lord." Roxy pointed out as he swiped her phone a tad too easily.

"Sup, gee."

"Oh my god!"

"Yes?" Charlie smirked. There was a faint buzz of laughter on the phone. "Chrissie, Dylan, we shall speak with you later. Chrissie, don't go on anymore sun beds, skin cancer is an actual risk. Stop it. Dylan, don't make me give you the guy chat."

"Um, the guy chat?"

"Yeeeaah... it's... well, I don't know... you know where one guy talks to another guy about the... safety of things? I dunno."

"Riiight."

"I am weird. You shall get used to it." Dylan stayed quiet, so he must have been nodding. "Goodbyyyyeee!" Charlie called in a sing-song voice, pressing the end call button and flipping the phone over his head. It landed with a soft thump on the pillow. "Problem solved." He smiled at Roxy. "You're welcome." Roxy pulled a bit of fluff from his blue jumper and flicked it aside. "How long have you known Christine?"

"Since the start of secondary school. I was the awkward kid that hung out at the back a lot and maybe she took pity on me or was dared into it, but we kind of got stuck together and here we are. She sends icky messages about her... _times_ and sometimes she'll tell me when she's on the toilet and stuff and it's not at all nice." Charlie made a face, agreeing with her. Roxy hunched her shoulders. "What can you do, really? She's a nutter, but not clinically. No rubber rooms and strait jackets for her. Hey, you OK?" He was rubbing at his arms anxiously. Roxy took his hand. "What's wrong?" He sat up, inhaling deeply. Roxy moved forward, kneeling behind him and working soothing circles into his shoulders and along his spine. It started to calm him and his breathing evened out.

"Thanks."

"Want to go down to breakfast?" He peered at her over his shoulder, eyeing her up and down and smirking at her pyjamas.

"You're not going in that, are you?"

"I'm going to _change_!" She pinched his ear. "Stop picking."

"I won't stop picking until you change. Chop, chop, woman."

"Don't you _woman_ me, mister. I will cause trouble for you." Charlie grinned playfully. Roxy whacked his leg as she shifted across the bed. "And don't use my phone!"

"Ah, what? I wanna play Candy Crush!"

"No! Use your own phone."

"But I prefer your phone."

"Why?"

"Because it's your phone. It has a Minion on the back." Roxy confiscated her phone, passed him his own and gathered her clothes. "Roxy!" He whined. "Candy Crush!" Roxy ignored him, locking the door to the small bathroom and changing. He had drawn on the mirror with toothpaste- a smiley face with a speech bubble coming off of it- _Morning, sunshine_! "I am not sunshine!"

"You are my sunshine," He sang through the door, "my only sunshine. You make me happy... when skies are grey-"

"OK, you can stop singing now." He drummed on the door, laughed and bounced off.

"Hurry up, sunshine, I'm hungry!"


	29. Heights

**I warn you now, the chapter after this one, my friend helped write. The friend that Christine is based on, so it's not **_**entirely**_** my fault if it's a tad cuckoo. Real life Christine- HELLO! :D**

* * *

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Charlie smiled. Roxy folded her arms stubbornly. Charlie's shoulders slumped. "Stop being such a spoilsport."

"I am _not_ going rock climbing."

"I'll go too."

"You _want_ to go. _I do not_."

"I'll buy you doughnuts."

"How many?"

"As many as you want." He beamed. Roxy, a touch reluctant, but dying for these doughnuts, relented. Charlie put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. "That's the spirit."

Roxy started climbing a few minutes later, all strapped into the harness. Charlie had to wait his turn and was at the bottom shouting encouragement and compliments alike. "Dat ass!"

"Oh my god, Charlie!" Roxy burned crimson, laughter ringing up around her. She made the mistake of looking down to glare at him. Her legs turned to jelly, her stomach churned and her head span. She shrieked and clung to the rock face. She was higher up than she thought. Charlie noticed something was wrong immediately. He darted forward, ignoring the instructors, and scrambled up the wall, no safety equipment in place. He was next to Roxy in the space of a few heartbeats. "Get me down." Roxy squeaked.

"OK."

"Right now."

"You're strapped in and I'm here. You won't fall. Well, I'd make some cheesy quip about you falling for me, but wee bit late for that."

"Just get me down, stop flirting!"

"Let go of the wall. I'll catch you, let go." His arm went around her waist. Roxy tried to let go, but she couldn't. "Trust me, Rox. Let go." She did. She didn't even fall, he had her to him instantly. "See?" He grinned. "Piece of cake. Try not to strangle me though." He took hold of the rope and abseiled down, talking to her as he did so. "This makes us even now- you know I'm a complete nutcase and I know you're scared of heights. What other secrets can we uncover?" He asked teasingly. He set Roxy down the second he was steady on the floor, helping her from her climbing gear.

"You owe me doughnuts. When I stop feeling so sick, doughnuts."

"Doughnuts?"

"Doughnuts?"

"Maybe doughnuts could be our always." Someone behind them gasped excitedly.

"You're like a fictional couple!" This teenage girl gushed. Charlie laughed, his arm around Roxy.

"We are."

"We are _not_ fictional." Roxy insisted.

"Yes we are. We all are. We're all figments of the writer's imagination because she's lonely and needs to write stories. Or to escape the pressure of society."

"_What_?"

"That or she's just got a lot of free time." Charlie shrugged. "Whichever one floats her goat."

* * *

**For the record, I don't have a goat. **


	30. Little monkey

**This one is the one my friend wanted me to write, the Christine friend of mine, so- once again- if it's cuckoo, blame her ^_^**

* * *

"What is the point of you even having a god damn mobile phone?" Christine raged. Roxy winced and held her phone away from her ear. "I needed to talk to you and you're about as contactable as aliens!" She huffed. "Maybe even less contactable, you poo head."

"I was having a heart attack on the climbing wall. What's wrong?"

"My dad took my car!"

"Why?"

"Well..."

"What did you do?"

"Dylan."

"Oh god! Too much info, too much info! _In the car_?"

"Yeeeeah..."

"I don't want to know why, my god!" Roxy pushed her hand through her hair. "Christine!"

"I know, I know! I miss my pudding cup! I can't go anywhere!"

"That's your own fault!"

"_My car_!" She shrieked. "It's not _my _fault, blame Dylan!"

"Why would I blame Dylan?"

"Because he's a total hunk, that's why!" Roxy groaned in defeat. "Don't you pull that tone with me, I'm serious! My _car_!"

"Yes, I understand that you've lost your car, but if you really love it so much, why did you-? Oh god..."

"You rang?" Charlie smiled, peering around the door. Roxy shooed him away. He didn't budge, his smile fading into a concerned look. Roxy jabbed a finger at her mobile phone and waved him away again. He gave a thumbs-up and disappeared.

"Ask Charlie if he knows how to break into and hotwire a car."

"No."

"You're supposed to be my best friend! Why are you letting me down!"

"I am your best friend and, even if it is your own car, it would kind of be illegal."

"No it would not!" Roxy scanned the room, almost hoping some previous holiday goer had psychic powers and scribbled on the wall what the hell she was supposed to do now. "My dad is the world's biggest turd, he should just go fu-"

"OK, going to stop you there. All you have to do is be on your best behaviour and then he'll let you have it back." Christine made a noise of disbelief and scorn. "I'm serious. No funny business with Dylan, be good. Suck up if you have to or you'll never get your pudding cup back."

"Roxy, puh-_lease_! As if I'd brown-nose such an ass! And leave Dylan alone? Ha! That's a good one, you little hobo!" Roxy bit her bottom lip. She would have said something, but she could sense a Christine-rant coming on. "There is no way in any world that I would be all nicey-nice to that scumbag who fathered me, no chance in freaking hell, I won't do it! He wants to play his little games then fine! I have my own games and I can guarantee they will ruin him, _completely _ruin him! I'm not talking money, before you say anything, hun. I like spending his money, I like spending as much of his money as I can, but he can't do anything. He's a spineless, self-centred and egotistical shit and I'm going to bring him down a hundred pegs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with my dad's secretary. Bye Roxy!" Christine cut off. Roxy sat frozen for a moment and then frowned at her phone. Charlie came back.

"Everything OK?"

"Christine's dad is in for a world of hurt."

"Ah. Poor bugger. Tea?"

"Please." He stood straight, tilting his head up a fraction.

"Would that be one lump or two?" He asked with an old English air, his voice a little too feminine for Roxy's liking.

"Two." She decided, darting forward and punching him in the leg.

"Whoa, hey!" He twisted away, standing behind the kitchen archway for cover. "Hey! Look, I don't know how much you know about a guy's anatomy, but for the love of bacon sandwiches, watch it!" Roxy smirked devilishly. "Oh, you're a cow. I knew I should have gone with Jack."

"Who the hell is Jack?"

"Oh, he's brilliant! You'd love him! But he wouldn't love you, he's gay. He's just got, like, the best _hair_, it's so pretty! All highlighted and cropped, casual and- why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're bi."

"I am not bi."

"You are!"

"I am not!"

"You're talking about this guy like God created him specifically to be your dream guy!"

"Wasn't that nice of him? _No_! I am not bi! _Not_, very much not!" Roxy didn't get to make a sarcastic response as her phone rang.

"Christine, hold on a sec. Charlie's about to come out."

"Of where?" Roxy waited. "Oh! Put me on speaker!" Roxy did. "Charlie! Are you bi? You're telling us you're bi, aren't you? That explains why you know so much about cheering a girl up, you're the best boyfriend and the gay best friend in one!"

"I am not bi!"

"You so are!" Roxy and Christine defied together. "I am high-fiving you through the phone, Rox, high five me."

"High five." Roxy laughed. "Oh, Charlie! You've gone all red, I _knew_ I could make you uncomfortable!"

"Get a picture!"

"My camera's broken."

"God dammit! Does nothing work anymore?" Christine grumbled a few curses. "So, Charlie. Any cute guys you've got your eye on?"

"He was just telling me about Jack."

"Go on." Christine encouraged. Charlie threw up his hands in despair and walked out, towards the bedroom. Roxy told her everything she knew about Jack, which wasn't much and Christine picked up on that instantly. "Go and find out more things!" Charlie marched back in. Roxy almost died.

"You call me bi, I will go out like this!"

"Don't you dare!" Roxy cast aside her phone and scrambled after Charlie. She managed to squeeze around him and block the front door. She could hear Christine shouting, but she was _not_ going to let him parade around in her pink jumper with her darker pink and black headscarf. He had her clearly women's sunglasses on too, her handbag swung over one shoulder. "Go back and change, go! Right now!" He smirked. Roxy's hand scrabbled for the lock, not taking her eyes from him. "I mean it, Charlie, go back and-"

"Oh, am I making you uncomfortable?" He struck a pose, hand on hip. "I'm sorry, it's clearly my gay side."

"OK, OK! You're not bi! Go and change!" He shook his head, rummaging through her bag and pulling out a pocket mirror and a tube of lipstick. Roxy pounced. He startled and turned, not dropping anything, and she ended up on his back, wrestling for her things back. "Will you behave? Christine, tell him! Give it back!" They bounced off the living room door and Charlie stumbled through, putting a hand on the arm of the sofa to steady them.

"_What is going on_?"

"Charlie, give me my stuff!"

"_Someone had better tell me what is going on or I am coming down there and slapping you little bitches_!" Christine was ignored. Charlie was laughing and trying to hold Roxy's belongings out of her reach while also making sure he didn't drop her. Roxy clung to him like a koala bear, one arm around his neck and the other grabbing desperately at her bag.

Charlie staggered to the side and tripped. They ended up in a heap on the floor. Roxy snatched her stuff back, prying the sunglasses from his head and rolling away. His eyes shone cheekily. Roxy swore at him and kicked his side. Christine was still yelling at them and filling the air with half-empty threats because, without her precious pudding cup, there was no way she could get to them to wring their necks and poke out their eyes.

"Go and put _your_ clothes on! If you haven't when I get there, there will be serious trouble!"

"Of what kind?"

"The very bloody kind, now go!" Charlie smiled. "Right _now_!" She ordered.

"Yeah, Charlie!" Christine called. "Right now! Trust me, you don't want both us on your case, jog on! Is he gone? Make sure he's gone, kick him for me, slap him, smack him with a chair! I'll get my minions on you, Charlie! Don't you push your luck! Is he gone yet?"

"Yeah, he's gone." Roxy sighed, slipping her stuff back in her bag. Charlie waved, smiling sweetly and closed the door. Christine started to ask what had happened again; Roxy explained instantly. "He's such an idiot! He was alright for a while and now he's started acting camp! It's this holiday, that's what it is! He's got a bigger audience!"

"That's not it!" Charlie called from the other room. "I'm getting my mojo back!"

"Oh dear god, Christine save me."

"I can't, remember? Turdface took my car."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"Survive. And when you get back, we will show Charlie who's boss together, don't you worry. Mans got your back, my little monkey."


	31. Puns

**To Guest- Thank you! Sorry if that upset you, I just didn't really know how else to put it and it was my friend's line, I just added it in to keep her happy :P **

**This chapter might be a short one, I haven't quite figured it all out yet. Sorry! Also, puns aren't mine. Friends and Tumblr and such.**

* * *

"Hey. Hey. _Hey_. Roxy!"

"_What_?" Roxy exasperated, not looking up from her crossword. Charlie hissed at her, nudging her with his foot and repeatedly weaponizing her name without drawing breath until she turned to glare at him. "What do you w- what have you _done_?" Charlie beamed at her. He had drawn on his face.

"I mustache you a question."

"Stop it!" He snapped his fingers.

"Do you want to taco about it? Or..." He held up his other hand and a bowl appeared. "Is it nacho your problem?" Roxy just stared at him. He bit into the taco and offered the nachos to her. Roxy took the bowl and passive-aggressively put it on the coffee table. Charlie polished off his taco and smiled again. "I've got more." He said when he could. "Simba was moving too slow, so I told him to Mufasa."

"Mufasa died."

"NO! He was just resting!" Roxy hummed. He reached over and touched her elbow. "You find them humerus. Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures."

"Will you stop?"

"Why? It's like your don't carrot at all." He made a shadow puppet then, one of a rabbit. Roxy hit his hands away and moved to the other sofa. He bounced something small off her head. It fell into her lap; at first she thought it was a grape, but it was an olive. "Olive you. Catch!" He threw a pear at her. "We are a perfect pear!"

"_Please_ stop."

"Why?"

"Because you are driving me up the wall!" He looked up at the ceiling. "Not literally! Figuratively!"

"Eh, same thing."


	32. Questions

"No! I don't want to go home!" Charlie sat stubbornly on the sofa, arms folded over his chest and look of pure determination on his face.

"We can't stay here _forever_, Charlie."

"Just watch me."

"Fine. I'll just take all your things and go home."

"You don't know the way."

"I have a Satnav app on my phone, so there." Roxy turned to the pile of luggage and souverniors, mentally sighing at the task load ahead. She could feel the weight of Charlie's gaze on her. He would get up and help in three, two... one...

"I've got it." He said, a little reluctantly standing up and taking the two heavier suitcases out and down the stairs. He pulled up a couple of suitcase trolleys and set about carrying things back and forth, leaving the lighter stuff for Roxy. She smiled gratefully at him when it was done, giving him a thankful kiss on the cheek. "Do we _have_ to go?" He complained, shoulders slouching.

"Yes. But we can always come back, can't we?"

"For our honeymoon?"

"I do hope you're going to take me somewhere better than a family holiday park for our _honeymoon_." He grinned cheekily.

"Of course I will. I have it all planned."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with... r."

"Is it road?"

"No."

"Race car?"

"You see a race car?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Rainbow."

"Yes!" Charlie beamed at her. "Your turn." Roxy rolled her eyes, but picked 'T'. "Tree." He said instantly. "Truck. Tyre. Tow. Tractor! It's tractor, isn't it!" Roxy just nodded, bored of I-Spy now. Charlie picked up on this. "Do you think it's possible for someone to die and be a zombie _and_ a ghost?" Roxy blinked at him. "Serious question." Roxy looked from one thing to the next, the steering wheel, the glove box, the sky, the wing mirror, the rear view mirror.

"Yes." She eventually decided, albeit hesitantly. She pondered the question for another minute. "Yes." She repeated. "Because zombies don't have souls or spirits, right? So, that could stagger around and eat people and stuff and the... ghost could shout at it or something, I don't know."

"I like your reasoning. Your turn."

"For what?"

"To ask a question to make me think."

"OK." Roxy chewed her lip thoughtfully, her eyes scanning the material of the sun visor. "Cannibalism holds the potential to solve both hunger and overpopulation problems."

"Yes." Charlie agreed instantly. "Don't make me eat you."

"Your turn." Roxy said.

"Maybe the first ever tattoo was called a 'tat' and everyone after went and got a 'tat' too."

"Maybe they were fed up with the biro washing off." Roxy drummed her fingers on her legs as she thought. "If we can't see air, can fish see water?" Charlie gaped at her. Roxy smirked triumphantly, but he was ready with a comeback almost instantly.

"We may never know what the best kept secret in the world was." He countered.

"Water is snowman blood."

"Free-running is the adult version of The Floor is Lava."

"If the moon reflects sunlight, shouldn't vampires catch fire from that too?"

"Um... probably?" Roxy shrugged.

"Back to zombies! Last one, I promise. Maybe zombies moan 'brains' not because they like them, but to give us a clue where to strike them in order to end their misery."

"Now I'm feeling sorry for maggot-infested rotting corpses!"

"Victory!"

"Just drive."

* * *

Roxy fell asleep on the drive home. Charlie let her sleep, pulling over for a minute to bundle his jacket as a pillow between her head and the window. He drove quietly, humming to himself and tapping out a small beat on the steering wheel with his fingers. Roxy talked in her sleep every now and then, something he had noticed over the past few nights. He sat and listened to her when he couldn't sleep, smiling as she scolded Christine, teased him and said 'oh god' after every other thing. He wondered if he talked in his sleep and, if he did, what did he say?

Charlie pulled up outside her parents' house. He didn't wake her, gently unbuckling her and carrying her up the steps. He knocked on the door a little awkwardly and her father answered. "She's asleep." Charlie reassured instantly. "Don't panic." Ronald sighed in relief and waved Charlie in. Charlie took Roxy upstairs, hooking his foot under her duvet to kick it back. She mumbled as he wobbled, didn't wake. Giving his own small exhale of relief, Charlie set her down, tucking the duvet about her. She smiled and rolled onto her right, as she always did, and slept on.

Closing the door quietly, Charlie smiled at Ronald. "Hello." He whispered.

"How was the holiday?"

"It was great." Ronald looked him up and down, crossing his arms. "Sir?" Charlie asked. "What's wrong?"

"Did you?"

"What?" Roxy's father raised a brow and it dawned on Charlie. "Oh! No! No, no, no! I swear, no, we didn't."

"Good." Ronald motioned to him and Charlie followed him down the stairs. "We've been talking to your parents while you've been away. We've a few ideas to go over with you both about this wedding."

"Brilliant!" Charlie grinned. "Let me get Roxy's stuff first." Charlie bounced from the house, sorting through the suitcases and the bags of cuddly toys, clothes, gifts and such that they had won/brought while away. Ronald and Marie looked a little surprised at the amount. "It was Roxy's fault. She's surprisingly good at grabber machines."

* * *

**Just a filler with help from the real life Charlie, the next chapter should be a little better hopefully. Sorry not updating in forever! **


	33. Children

**Sorry for not updating this one in a while, I've been sifting through a series of ideas for it. I was going to do some drama chapters, but I didn't have enough.**

* * *

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the wannabe happy couple." Alfie smirked playfully. Jo smacked the back of his hand with a spatula, shaking her head. "How'd the holiday go?"

"We pigged ourselves on doughnuts and I made their mascot cry."

"What? Charlie! We've talked about this!" Jo lunged at him over the island with the spatula. Charlie artfully dodged behind Roxy. "You do not make them cry, those people work hard to help people have a good holiday!"

"I didn't _mean_ to make him cry, it just happened!"

"Roxy, what did he do?"

"I don't even know. I just turned round to see this guy in a big bear suit sobbing." Jo handed the kitchen utensil over and Roxy swatted her partner with it repeatedly. Charlie ducked and hugged her legs, looking up at him with the Charlie-eyes. "No, stop it. Get up and behave." He huffed like a scolded child and leant his forehead against her thigh. Alfie leant sideways to peer at his son curiously.

"You've turned him into a big nancy than usual."

"Trust me, not my doing. It's a shame you didn't see him wearing pink." His parents stared at her wide-eyed, Charlie hissing at her to stay quiet. Roxy reached down and covered his mouth with her hand firmly, telling the story and tugging on his hair when he licked her palm, slobber dripping all over the place. Jo handed her a towel and Alfie kicked Charlie on the elbow.

"Ow! Funny bone!"

"That's your own fault!"

"_You_ kicked _me_! How is that my fault?"

"You're very kickable!"

"Boys!" Jo scolded, brandishing her treasured weapon. Father and son fell silent. "Anyway, I'm glad you're back, Roxy-"

"What about me?"

"No, Charlie." Jo faced Roxy, who was stifling giggles. "I've been talking to your parents and we've got quite a few ideas for the wedding. We've both got copies of it all, save you running back and forth." She waved that aside. "You can stay the night if you want and we'll take you and your stuff back tomorrow morning."

"Are you sure?"

"It's no problem." Alfie assured. "But Charlie, you're sleeping on the sofa. And you're babysitting tonight."

"What? Why? Where are you going?"

"Date night." There was a slight pause as Charlie counted on his fingers.

"Oh, yeah. Friday. For some reason I thought it was Tuesday."

"Just one reason- idiocy." Jo tossed the spatula into the washing up bowl. "Alfie, go and have a shower. Charlie, put Roxy's stuff in your room for now, it'll be safest there. Roxy, do you want a tea or anything?" Roxy politely declined. "Hungry?" Charlie raised his hand. "You're _always _hungry."

"Hint hint."

"Go away." The two men left, punching each other and laughing. Roxy was sure his parents were going to quiz them individually about the holiday. "Roxy." Jo gestured for her to have a seat, flicking the kettle on. "How can I put this gently?" She mused quietly. "Did... anything of a particular sort happen on this holiday?"

"We've had this talk from my parents already." Roxy murmured, her face on fire. "No, nothing of that particular sort." Jo nodded, looking relieved.

"I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother just yet. I have ten children- what if they all had ten each too? That's a hundred grandchildren and, continuing with that theory, a thousand great-grandchildren." Roxy laughed. "It's not funny. There won't be enough names, I'd have to win the lottery every day to keep on top of birthdays, Christmas, pocket money... I'd need a house about a hundred times bigger than this, there is no way we could handle that many. Ten is my limit, I know that now." Jo glanced over her shoulder. "I suggest no more than three for you."

"That's all I wanted, honestly."

"Mmm... good luck breaking the news to Charlie." Roxy groaned in defeat, shoulders slouching miserably. Jo smiled, placing a hot chocolate in front of her, a coffee for herself. "He'll understand. But that reminds me." Jo sat. "OK, I know you're not planning on children soon, I just think it's best if you know what's going to happen."

"Please not the Talk."

"No, not that. Don't panic. It's just... you're human, Charlie's mutant. That means half-mutant children. It's alright if the mother is a mutant and the father human, but the other way around is a little more tricky."

"Why?"

"Well, you don't have mutant heritage whatsoever. We know, we've checked." Roxy blinked at her. Jo dismissed it. "The mutant side of any children you have will drain your energy. Being human, that means _alot_ of energy, something you won't have naturally, especially during pregnancy. Charlie knows this already and it's not an issue as long as you stick to a schedule. Every now and then, Charlie will have to infuse some of his mutant energy into you, just so the baby doesn't... kill you making itself stronger."

"What?"

"I know it's a lot to take in. But I promise you, it will all work out fine." Roxy took a sip of hot chocolate, her hands trembling. Jo noticed, her expression softening. "Charlie won't let you get hurt, Roxy. You know that." Roxy nodded timidly. "Throughout the pregnancy and possibly the birth too, it differs, he'll just have to give you some of his power- enough to keep you and the baby going, but not enough to overload your system. Don't worry, he knows about that too. We've taught him well, just breathe." Jo smiled reassuringly. Roxy gave a half-hearted one in reply. "I'm telling you now so you have time to get your head around it. I'm not counting on grandchildren for at least another year yet."

"A _year_?"

"Yes."

"Just the _one_ year?" Jo nodded, laughing at Roxy's bewildered and slightly terrified look. She reached across the island, squeezing Roxy's hand consolingly. "Pressure much." Roxy squeaked.

"No. No pressure. I promise that too. It's not to dwell on now and nothing will go wrong. You'll be married into one of the biggest mutant families on the planet and we have Michael. He's half-mutant, one of the smartest. You do know Michael, don't you?"

"In passing. I've never actually spoken to him."

"You'll get on great. I've not met a single person Michael can't get along with." Jo paused, counting in her head. "OK, aside from at least five people, but they don't really count as people as they have tendencies to try and enslave the human race and eradicate all other mutants, but hey!"

"Was that the same set of mutants that Charlie threw a car at a while back?"

"Yes, I think so."

"What am I marrying into again?"

"Don't look so panicked! We're the nice mutants!" Jo laughed again. "It's no big deal, we just set Violet and her team on them and poof! Gone for at least another year, if we're lucky."

"Can we talk about something that doesn't include me dying?"

"OK. Let's talk about the wedding. I've got a blue shimmery sash you can wear about your shoulders and your mother insists that you wear her wedding dress. What's the song? Something old..."

"Something new." Roxy continued. "Something borrowed and something blue."

"That's it! Right, this way." Jo rose, directing Roxy into the living room joyfully. "Ooh, this is going to be so much fun!"

* * *

Jo and Alfie let about eight for date night. According to the rest of the Yachtmans, they didn't get back until the early hours of the morning, usually. "It's OK though." Megan shrugged. "Charlie's kind of adopted us in his own way. He's like our third parent. Personally my favourite parent, but don't say I said that, his head is big enough as it is." Roxy grinned.

"Right, you, you, you and you, bed!" Charlie ordered of the four youngest. The triplets made faces at him while Connor got up and toddled obediently to his brother's side. "See, at least _someone_ here is nice. Go up and brush your teeth, Connor, I've got to sort these smelly girls out."

"You smell!" The triplets defied instantly.

"Oh yeah?" Charlie challenged.

"Yeah!"

"Prove it! Last one upstairs is the smelliest!" The three girls squealed and scrambled over one another. Charlie took big, slow steps towards the stairs, watching them amusedly. He lost on purpose, making a huge song and dance out of it. "Oh no, I lost! How could this be? Roxy, stay back! I'm hideous!" He covered his face with his arms, mock kicking at his youngest sisters and herding them into the bathroom.

"Does he always do that?" Roxy asked Leon.

"Eh. Something of the sorts. The triplets hate losing, very competitive. Do _not_ play Cluedo with them. Well, any board or card game for that matter. Just do _not_, not unless you have a death wish."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks." Leon nodded once, content, as though he had just dispensed world-rattling, life-changing advice, not simple _do not_ advice. Roxy surveyed the living room. Leon was sat in the arm chair, Lucy lying across with her head on one arm of the chair and her legs over the other. Both of them were on DS consoles, viciously racing on Mario Kart. Megan was sat at the table, sharpening and cleaning an array of knives. Mitchell and Chloe were on the floor, petting their pet cat, Nana, a tortoise shell birman female about nine years old. Roxy looked up to the landing as Connor and the triplets came out, Charlie behind them and trying to get toothpaste from his hair. "Need some help?" She called.

"No, I've got this! Thanks!" He grinned at her, leaving the toothpaste and shepherding the little ones to their rooms. "No, you in your room tonight, stop being a pain." He picked Connor up as the six year old tried to go into his sisters' room. "We've had this discussion. You don't want to sleep in a girl's room, because girls are scary and you'll come away with all sorts of horrible memories and a flowery scent." Connor rolled his eyes. "Oy! I am not going to be sassed by a little toerag no higher than my knee! Go to bed!"

"No!" Connor refused cheekily.

"Don't make me eat." Charlie warned as seriously as he could, folding his arms. Connor copied his movements, tilting his chin up in defiance. "Five," Charlie declared, "four... three... two..." Connor startled into action and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. "One!" Charlie finished, racing after him. There must have been another flight of stairs along the landing, out of sight from where Roxy was sat now, as she could hear them running up it and distantly across the third floor.

"Do they do that often too?"

"Yeah. Connor listens to Charlie more than Mum and Dad, which is saying something, because Connor never really listens." Lucy informed, cursing her twin when he won. Leon whooped in victory, throwing up his hands. Megan shushed them irritably and they blew simultaneous raspberries in her direction. "He won't get up once he's in his bed. Unlike the triplets. They like to get up and question life at random intervals."

"It's like they are permanently in the shower, just... contemplating." Leon agreed solemnly. "I never realised eight year olds could make you evaluate your whole life."

"No that you do anything about it." Chloe chipped in.

"Who says I want to?" Leon shot back good-naturedly.

"Society." Mitchell said after a moment's silence. "Society wants you to change your life; you'll be a little homeless person otherwise."

"Nah. Mum and Dad won't kick me out, they love me."

"They love me more!" Charlie called from upstairs. "Amelia, your own bed! Carly, I see that torch and book, give. No, you can't stay up reading, weekend or not. Where's Eden? Get out from under there, you little pain. I want no philosophies this evening, please and thank you. I don't care if aliens are invading or the plague is in your room, go to sleep."

"You would care if aliens were invading or the plague was in our room." One of the triplets pointed out.

"You're lovely like that." Another one said. Roxy still had a hard time telling them apart.

"But no philosophies." The third promised. "Only for tonight though. And only if you let us read for half an hour."

"I'm being blackmailed." Charlie said to himself, trying to get his head around this. "Twenty minutes." He relented. "Any longer and I'll hide _all_ your books." They protested. Charlie was hearing none of it, switching the light on and setting a timer on his phone. He came downstairs and collapsed on the sofa next to Roxy. She immediately attacked the drying toothpaste in his hair. "Oh yeah." He said absent-mindedly. "That was Eden. She's not very patient that one, put toothpaste _everywhere_."

"Did you clean it up?"

"Yeah, no problemo. Oy, I want to play too." He told the twins. Lucy snapped her fingers and both Charlie and Roxy held DS's. "Sweet." Charlie grinned. He looked sidelong at Roxy. "Prepare to lose. I am Mario Kart Queen."

"Mmm, don't think so." Roxy smirked. Charlie eyed her warily. "You see, while you may be, heh, _queen_. I _own_ Mario Kart, I am the _goddess_ of Mario Kart."

"I am the _universe _of Mario Kart."

"I am the _infinity _of Mario Kart."

"If you two are done flirting, we want to race." Leon interrupted.

"You're both very pretty." Lucy added. "Let's keep this clean, OK? Bro, stop moving. You're not comfy when you fidget."

"I've pins and needles in my leg."

"That's your own fault."

"How? You're not the one with a dead weight on your leg." Lucy slammed her elbow in his gut and he gasped, winded. "Cow." He wheezed.

"Let's keep this clean." Roxy said in a cruel impersonation of him. Charlie snapped his fingers and swatted the air disappointedly.

"I was going to say that!"

"Point Roundshore."

"Oooh... Yachtmans! Assemble!" Out of nowhere, his siblings had DS's. "I tweaked the system so we could _all_ play." Charlie smiled proudly. "Roundshore VS Yachtmans, you haven't a chance."

"We'll see."

Roxy won five games in a row. How, Charlie had no idea. Neither did his siblings. None of them were ready to admit she was the infinity of Mario Kart, sulking off to bed and daring for rematchs in the morning when they weren't so tired. "You lot are just a big bunch of sore losers." Charlie yawned, stretching. "Bed time."

"I can't. You're sitting on my bed."

"This is the sofa."

"You're having my bed."

"No, I'm the guest so-"

"You'll take the bed. I'll take the sofa." Roxy clenched her jaw stubbornly. Charlie didn't notice, studying the TV control and silently debating if he would stay awake for another few hours to watch some _Doctor Who_.

"There's no arguing my way out of this, is there?"

"My mother's word is Law. Capital L. I may be a brave man, but not that brave." Roxy shook her head, smiling.

"Fine. But only because you're too much of a coward."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Roxy kissed his cheek and bade him goodnight. Charlie watched her go, waving when she looked back. "Yup." He told himself when his bedroom door had swung shut. "She gonna be my wife." He mulled over that for a second and grinned broadly. "Roxy Yachtman." He tested. "Ooh no, that breaks up the R's. Roxy Rowena Roundshore. Roxy Rowena Yachtman." He hummed indecisively. "Yachtman sounds better than Roundshore." He argued. "But the R's." He countered. Then he shrugged. "Well, whichever way it is, she's having my babies."

* * *

**I have a new Percy Jackson story up- it's called The Little Twins, greatly appreciate it if you read it! ^_^ **


	34. Children 2

The door to Charlie's room creaked open, spilling light across Roxy's face. She moaned and rolled onto her other side. Then she registered sniffling. She turned back and squinted into the light, shielding her eyes. A small figure stood there, trailing an Avengers blanket and a slightly worn teddy bear. "Connor." She sat up, rubbing at her eyes. "What's the matter?"

"Where's Charlie?"

"He's downstairs. Sleeping on the sofa." She added when he hiccupped. Roxy got up and padded over quietly, holding her hand out to him. He looked at her unhappily. "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" He nodded. "What was it about?" He shook his head. Roxy knelt before him, touching his cheek gently. He flinched. "Hey, don't do that. I won't hurt you."

"You left Charlie."

"I'm back now."

"You still left. Charlie was not Charlie then."

"I know, I'm sorry. I really am, I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Will you stay now?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Roxy said solemnly, engaging in his pinky promise when he offered. "Let's get you to Charlie, yeah?" The child nodded, taking her hand and following at her side dutifully. Down the stairs, across to the sofa. Connor let her go then, scrambling clumsily onto Charlie's chest. Charlie opened his eyes, blinking at his baby brother a few times and then smiling sleepily.

"Hello, trouble."

"Nightmare." Connor mumbled. Charlie smoothed the child's hair back and chucked him under the chin. "Everybody left me." Tears dribbled down Connor's face.

"No, that won't happen. I'll let you in on a little secret, yeah?" Connor nodded hesitantly, Charlie calmly wiping his thumbs beneath those watery brown eyes. "If I had to, I'd leave that lot and take you, but sssh! Don't tell them I said that!" Connor smiled timidly and lay down after a pat on the back from his older brother. Charlie folded his blanket about him and winked at Roxy. "Works every time." He mouthed.

"Love you, Charlie." Connor said quietly.

"Love you too, buddy." Charlie kissed the top of his brother's head. "You get some sleep, bubba bro. I'll keep those mean nightmares away for you." Connor settled, his head against the curve of Charlie's neck.

"Will he be OK?" Roxy questioned quietly. Charlie nodded, holding his hand out to her. She knelt beside him and he toyed with her hair. "He made me promise not to leave again."

"Pinky promise?" She nodded. "Don't break that. He's a fire user and he burns _nasty_."

"I'll keep that in mind." Charlie smiled. "How often does he have nightmares?"

"Often enough. They're usually the same. He developed his powers later than the rest of us did. Being the youngest and shortest, he's worried that he doesn't fit in and that we'll leave him on day or throw him out."

"Oh bless." Charlie nodded. "Does he come to you every time?" Another nod. "He's so sweet." He hummed distractedly, a dreamy look in his eyes. "What?" He startled.

"Nothing."

"No, tell me." He bit his lip. Roxy pinched his arm. "Tell me."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Fine. But don't kill me." He watched her until she nodded. "I was just thinking... how... when we're married, place of our own... kids."

"Kids?"

"Not baby goats. Baby us."

"You're really thinking this through, aren't you?"

"Yeah... You don't mind, do you?" Roxy hesitated and he looked put out. "Sorry I brought it up, it's just-"

"Hey, ssh. It's OK. It's just... a lot to get my head around, that's all." She shifted to get comfortable, wiggling her toes to rid her foot of pins and needles. "Charlie, I don't want to rush into things though. This whole... half-mutant baby pregnancy thing... I'm- I'm absolutely terrified."

"Don't be." He took her hand. "I'll help you."

"I know, I'm just... worried." Roxy studied the scars on his hand, some old, some new, some still with scabs. "How many did you want anyway?"

"Twenty-four."

"_What_?"

"One for each letter of the alphabet."

"You idiot. How many did you want _seriously_?" Charlie pursed his lips, eyes flitting about thoughtfully. Connor squirmed and mumbled in his sleep, pulling his blanket about him. Roxy waited patiently, praying for a single digit number below five. "Charlie?" He raised a brow at her, relaying her question. "I want a few, three maybe." He just nodded. "You want more, don't you?" He smiled sheepishly. "Oh my god, Charlie, _ow_. I'd have thought living in this big family you'd want to lower the numbers a little."

"Um... I'm trying to win here."

"Win _what_? I'm going back to bed before you get any more ideas, you're crazy."

"I'll just dream about you instead then, my sunshine."

"Crazy." Roxy muttered as she ascended the stairs. "Absolutely crazy."

"I can hear you!" Charlie hissed. Roxy stopped at the top and turned back. "I am crazy!" He smiled. "Crazy about yooooouuu." He blew her a kiss. Roxy tried to catch it, pretended to miss and gave him an 'oh well' look. She started back to his room, tying her hair back into the ponytail. She wasn't sure if he actually said it or she was imagining it, but she definitely heard- in some form- "You shall mother my children."


	35. Grandparents

"I can't _wait_ until we meet your grandparents!" Charlie grinned, bouncing in his seat. Roxy flicked the indicator on, shaking her head. "Do I have to be on my best behaviour?"

"Dad takes after Nana. Be warned."

"Ah. What about your granddad?"

"He's OK, pretty chill. You two will get along no problem, it's Nana I'm worried about. She's much more strict than Dad. And she'll cook meatloaf. Again." Roxy made a face. "I swear she eats nothing else. Granddad insists that she makes other things, roasts and cakes and trifles and such, but whenever we visit, it's meatloaf and treacle tart."

"I like treacle tart. Not meatloaf."

"Remind me to tell her you're vegetarian."

"Tell her I'm vegetarian."

"When we get there." Roxy sighed in defeat. Charlie shone an angelic smile her way and sat quietly for the next ten minutes. "OK, here. Best, _best_ behaviour _please_."

"I'll be good, I promise. Ahhh, non-air-conditioned air." He took a deep breath, stretching his arms to the sides. "I have a cramp in my leg." Roxy just nodded. "What do I call your grandparents? Mr and Mrs Roundshore?"

"And 'sir' or 'ma'am'. No first name basis until they say otherwise. You'll probably get called 'young man' and 'boy' quite a bit by Nana and 'mate' when Granddad likes you. Can you get their presents from the boot? It was their anniversary last week." He looked blank. "That family party I had to go to, remember? The one you weren't allowed to because you had to meet my grandparents face-to-face rather than in a crowd."

"Ah. Yes. Is anything here breakable?" He asked as he studied the contents of the boot.

"The red one."

"What is it?"

"The robin ornament you found."

"At the garden centre?"

"Yes."

"Huh."

"What?"

"I'm going to start writing things down, I swear I've got a mind like a sieve lately." Roxy rolled her eyes, taking the present wrapped in green- a new bird house for her grandfather as he loved all the little birds flying in. "You knock." Charlie hissed. She raised a brow at him. "I'm scared now, you knock. Don't laugh, I'm _terrified_." Roxy smiled timidly and kissed his cheek.

"It'll be OK." She shut the boot and pressed the button on her key, hearing the locks click. "Come on, chicken."

"I have every right to be chicken." Charlie mumbled, following behind nervously. She shot him a pointed look. "Manners, best behaviour, Mr and Mrs Roundshore or 'sir' and 'ma'am' and if they ask I want seconds say I want thirds too even if I'm going to explode because your nana likes to fatten people up. Are you sure she's not the witch from Hansel and Gretel?"

"Pretty sure." Roxy knocked on the frosted patterned glass. Charlie meeped bravely as a shadow rippled on the other side. A chain clanked away and the door opened, revealing a stout woman. She was in her eighties with thick, curly grey-blonde hair, round glasses and a cold look on her face, detached, as she looked Charlie over. She wore a pale blue knitted jumper and a black, knee-length skirt, her feet encased in soft pink slippers. "Nana!" Roxy beamed.

"Roxanne, sweet heart!" The frosty expression melted away into a smile and she embraced her granddaughter. "So good to see you again." Mrs. Roundshore held Roxy's face in her small, wrinkled hands. "You look peaky, dear. I need to fatten you up." Her sharp grey eyes returned to Charlie. "This must be him."

"Yes, Nana. This is Charlie."

"Hello." Charlie smiled politely.

"Roxy!"

"Granddad!" Mr. Roundshore was taller and heavier than his wife, balding, grinning and ready for a hug. He was in a smart white shirt with the sleeves folded back, black trousers and blue socks. He smothered Roxy in a tight hug, laughing. He had always given her very powerful hugs, warm and homely, smelling faintly of baked bread and woodsmoke.

"And this young man must be Charlie! Greetings, young man!" Mr. Roundshore flourished a hand, Charlie shook it. "Ah, nice strong grip."

"He is a mutant, Granddad. I did tell you."

"So you did."

"It's dangerous, Roxanne." Mrs. Roundshore sniffed. "You know full well mutants and humans together is illegal." Charlie bit his lip sheepishly, glancing nervously at Roxy. "Well, come in then. Take your shoes off." Roxy went first, neatly putting her shoes behind the door. Charlie put his trainers next to hers and hovered nervously. "Sit. I'll put the kettle on. Roxy, with me." Roxy smiled apologetically at Charlie, handing him the other present.

"Just put them on the coffee table. Ask Granddad about his birds."

"Birds. OK." Roxy and her grandmother went through a door to the left, Mr. Roundshore led Charlie through a door on the right. The living room was a wide, long room, bright and airy. A plush sofa was pressed to the left wall and two matching arm chairs were against the back wall, looking out the French doors onto the garden. Charlie peered out curiously, seeing a pond in the back corner, a large stone shed covered in ivy at the back with plenty of bird houses among it. A two storey rabbit hutch stood before it, with a large run attached to the front. Two chubby black rabbits with floppy ears lazed in the sunshine. On the patio right outside the doors were dozens and dozens of different sized flower pots and stone ornaments of animals and a garden gnome with a creepy smile. "Very nice."

"Thank you." Mr. Roundshore gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa.

"Thank you." Charlie said quietly, sitting on the edge. There were more cushions on this sofa than he had ever seen in his life.

"So, you're a mutant?"

"Yes, sir."

"Can you do any cool tricks?"

"Uh..."

"What are you powers? Can you fly? Breathe fire?"

"That's a dragon, sir. Mutants can't fly unless they can turn into something that flies."

"Oh. What about breathing underwater?"

"Only with gills. I don't have any."

"What _can_ you do then?"

"I can talk to animals."

"Anything else?"

"Um... I control water. I don't really use my powers. Mostly talk to animals."

"Could you talk to birds?" Charlie nodded. Mr. Roundshore beamed. "As you may have noticed, I love birds. I've got little families of robins, sparrows and starlings. I have some parakeets that fly in from time to time, we get the usual pigeons of course and magpies, crows, ravens and sometimes ducks too."

"Roxy said you loved birds."

"I'm always feeding them. Sultanas, bread, old cornflakes, ocassionally fat rinds. Ah, here they are now." Mr. Roundshore pointed. Charlie leant forward to see a few sparrows hopping about on the step just outside the doors. One of them pecked at the glass. "Strange. They've never done that before."

"They can sense me." Charlie got up. "You don't mind if I open that door, do you?"

"Of course not!" Mr. Roundshore smiled, eager to be closer to his beloved birds. Charlie carefully pushed the door open and the sparrows flapped up to sit on his shoulders and hands. "What are they saying?"

"Um... one at a time, hold on. Carl, you first." The sparrow on his left hand bobbed his head and squawked disapprovingly. "Magpies are flashy, it's what they do." The one on his right chirped in agreement. "Yes, Jill, they steal your bread, but they have families too, you know. Eve, what's the matter?" The sparrow on his shoulder fluttered down to his wrist, fluffing her feathers. "So you're OK? You just wanted to say hello?" The sparrow started to sing and the others joined in.

"What are you doing?"

"He talks to animals!" Charlie turned. Mrs. Roundshore and Roxy were back, each carrying two cups of tea. "It's amazing- I never realised the birds had names, but it makes sense now that I think about it."

"Charlie, you've got feathers in your hair." Roxy laughed softly, setting the tea on coasters on the table. The sparrows took flight out the door and Charlie cleared his hair. They all sat down, Roxy and Charlie on the sofa- at either end because Nana Roundshore was glaring daggers at Charlie- while the elderly pair sat in their armchairs. Roxy leant over and pulled a stray feather free.

"So," Mrs. Roundshore said curtly, making the heavy atmosphere even more so, "is my Roxanne in safe hands or not? I will not have her put in danger because of some mutant."

"We're not all dangerous, ma'am."

"Yet you all have the potential to be. Yes?" Charlie hesitated. "Yes." Mrs. Roundshore clenched her jaw. "And you all attract trouble, do you not?"

"Well-"

"How will I know my Roxanne is well cared for?"

"She-"

"Is there anything I should be aware of?"

"I-"

"What are you career plans?"

"I'm-"

"Where will you live after the wedding?"

"We-"

"What about-?"

"Nana, please!" Roxy intervened. "Let him speak!" Mrs. Roundshore pursed her lips. Roxy looked to Charlie and smiled encouragingly. Charlie felt his voice lodge in his throat and started chewing his lip. "Charlie?" She reached out and took his hand. He looked at her sidelong and nodded slightly. "Just tell her what you told my dad."

"Word for word?"

"Do you remember it word for word?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I don't know. I just do."

"Not word for word. Just talk."

"Um... OK. We only attract trouble if we cause reason for it to be attracted. Uh, Roxy will be well cared for, there's alot of us to keep her safe if need be, ma'am. And I mean _alot_."

"Yes, Roxanne told me about your extensive family."

"My career plans currently are undergoing a little work, but I do have a plan. A serious one, before you say anything." He shushed Roxy playfully. She stuck her tongue out at him. "I want to train to either be a vet or a doctor maybe, in a children's hospital. I haven't fully decided yet. As for somewhere to live after the wedding..." He quickly looked at Roxy and then back at her grandparents, anxiously lacing his fingers with hers. "We're still looking." Roxy nodded. "Did I miss anything?" He asked her quietly. She shook her head.

"What about children?"

"Oh, not you as well!" Roxy flushed crimson. "We've had this conversation a million times with the others, please don't-"

"I was asking him, Roxanne."

"Leave them be, Mags." Mr. Roundshore sat forward, putting his mighty hand over her small one. "You're making poor Roxy uncomfortable."

"I want to know, Frank."

"So do I, but I'm not going to push them." He sipped his tea calmly. Charlie ran his thumb over the back of Roxy's hand soothingly. "Young man," Mr. Roundshore addressed Charlie, "what do you like to do in your free time?"

"Paint."

"As in painting and decorating?"

"No, sir. Painting pictures."

"You should see them!" Roxy added, grateful for the subject change. "Literally the best art work I've ever seen. Did you bring your paints?" Charlie nodded slowly, staring at her as though she were losing it. "Why don't you paint something for Nana and Granddad?"

"Like what?"

"Robins?" Charlie's eyes flickered to the older couple. Then he nodded hesitantly. "Here," Roxy dug the keys from her handbag, "go and get your things." He nodded again, slightly dazed. Roxy waited until the front door opened before turning to her grandparents. "Nana, why are you being harsh to him?"

"I am not!"

"You were a bit, dear." Frank admitted.

"You said he was very talkative. So far, I've only heard automatic responses."

"Nana, you're making him nervous. He doesn't want to mess this up." Roxy checked Charlie was still busy collecting his art things, lowering her voice. "He's got a few issues with confidence- if he gets too nervous, he'll either clam up or just witter on, neither of which he wants to do because he's worried he'll make himself look like an idiot." Her nan frowned. "Just give him a chance please. Mutant or not, he wouldn't hurt. He'd never let me get hurt, even at the cost of his own life. He's already promised Dad to make sure I'm safe, so don't go on about that, _please_."

"Roxanne-"

"Nana, please." Roxy begged under her breath as she heard the boot of her car shut. "Watch him paint, you'll see. He'll be more relaxed then." Mrs. Roundshore stayed quiet. Charlie closed the front door. She nodded as he walked in, bearing a canvas and his tub of paints and brushes. Roxy smiled gratefully at her nana and went to get Charlie a bowl of water and some kitchen roll.

"What am I painting again?" He asked, barely audible. Roxy smoothed his hair back and smiled.

"Robins."

"Ah yes. OK." Roxy sat back down. Mrs. Roundshore didn't take her eyes from Charlie the entire time he painted. He had set his canvas up, leaning against the coffee table, and they couldn't see what he was painting exactly. But Roxy was right. He talked more now that he had something to take his mind off things. "Did you grow all those plants out there, Mrs. Roundshore? I've never seen so many flower pots in my life, but they're great! I wish my nan had a constructive hobby. She's a little crazy, very spontaneous. You've met Vi, haven't you, Roxy?"

"A couple of times. Granddad, you'd like Vi. Very eccentric."

"Oh really?"

"Has a habit of jumping out of things." Roxy continued. "Planes, windows, trees. Oh, don't worry. She's perfectly fine afterwards. It's a mutant thing she's got going on, very jumpy."

"What about you, young man? Do you jump out of things?"

"Not unless it's absolutely necessary. Like a burning building. I may be mutant, but I am _not_ fire pr-" His voice caught and he froze, staring at his canvas, brow furrowed. "Pr-" He tried again. "Fi- f-f..." Roxy set her tea down, rising and moving towards him slowly. She touched his cheek gently. He was still trying to get his words out, stammering and falling short of completeing his sentence.

"Charlie." Roxy called softly, taking his hand in both of hers. He grimaced and closed his eyes. "Look at me." He did so, conflicted. "Hey." She smiled. "You're OK. Aren't you? See here, you're painting. Painting is good, isn't it?" He nodded, biting his bottom lip. She stayed at his side while he calmed and his breathing eased out. She sat a little back when he continued painting, resting her feet in his lap so he knew she was definitely there. She was going to ask him about this later.

He finished his painting half an hour later, two robins with highly detailed feathers, flying in the snow and chasing the other playfully, swooping in a circle, their shadows cast behind them entwined lovingly.

"They look so real." Mr. Roundshore marvelled breathlessly when Roxy held it up proudly. Charlie washed his brushes, his hands trembling. "May I keep this, mate?" Roxy and Charlie shared a look, Roxy smiling an 'I-told-you-so' smile. Charlie nodded. Mr. Roundshore hung it proudly over the mantelpiece. "I'm hiring you as our official painter."

"Frank, you won't have space."

"Nonsense, Mags. I'll make space."

"Roxanne, help me with the lunch. My meatloaf should be ready soon."

"Meatloaf... oh! Nana, Charlie's vegetarian! I forgot to tell you earlier."

"Vegetarian?"

"I talk to animals, ma'am. I can't be best friends one minute and literally biting their heads off the next."

"Fair enough. Roxanne, what will he eat?"

"What have you got?" Roxy followed her grandmother into the kitchen, leaving Charlie with Mr. Roundshore once more. Charlie listened to them for a moment, Nana Roundshore interrogating Roxy on his behaviour. Frank was doing the same to him.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you, sir."

"What was that?"

"I... um... it's... just an... just a little problem I have... I get... from time to time. It's nothing." Mr. Roundshore didn't look convinced.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, sir."

"How much do you love my granddaughter?"

"Immeasurably, sir."

"I know you've already promised my son you'd look after her, but I would like that promise too. To ease an old man's mind."

"I'd die for Roxy, sir. I'd never let her get hurt, not because of me or anything else." Mr. Roundshore nodded thoughtfully, making a steeple with his fingers, contemplating. Charlie let him, putting his paints and brushes back in their tub.

"Come with me." Mr. Roundshore eventually said. He rose stiffly, waving aside Charlie's attempt of help, shuffling from the room. Directly opposite the front door was a flight of stairs, between the door to the living room and the door to the dining room. Mr. Roundshore climbed first, Charlie following behind and making sure the old man didn't fall. There were five rooms on this landing, two to the right and three to the left. Two were bathrooms, one a simple W/C and the other a fully equipped bathroom. The third door was a small bedroom. The other two were also bedrooms, one bigger than the first and one much smaller. They went into the bigger one. "My dear Roxy has told me much about you. You may be engaged, but I noticed no ring."

"I have been looking, sir, it's just finding the right one."

"Does Roxy have any input in the ring?"

"Some, but she wants it to be a surprise too."

"I see." Mr. Roundshore turned to the old dresser below the window, pulling open the drawers several times before he found what he wanted. "This," He said, holding it in his hands so Charlie couldn't see, "has been in my family for generations. My great-great grandfather made it himself to propose to my great-great grandmother. I won't bore you with my family history. Promise me you'll make an honest woman of my Roxy." He held his hand out, revealing a small ring box, faded with age. Charlie stared at it. The older man opened it, revealing a loop of silver and gold elegantly laced together, spiralling up to tenderly hold the brightest sapphire Charlie had ever seen. Either side of it, delicate metal wings dotted with detail and feathery spines spread, as though the jewel was to take off at any second. Looking closer, Charlie saw a ring of tiny diamonds circling the base of the sapphire.

"Sir, I can't... I can't take this."

"No, I insist. Roxy used to play with it as a child, dress-up. She was always so pleased to be allowed to hold it, wear it. I want her to have it for real now."

"But, sir-"

"No. I will not take no for an answer." Mr. Roundshore reached down, taking Charlie's wrist and lifting his hand, putting the ring box in it. "You take this and give it to my granddaughter. You keep her safe and happy and you make sure she gets the best of this life. She deserves it."

"I know, sir. She does." Charlie looked down at the ring. "What can I-?"

"I don't want anything for it. Just Roxy's eternal well-being. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, sir." Mr. Roundshore smiled and held out his hand. Charlie shook.

"Call me Frank."

* * *

Charlie kept the ring in his pocket after that. Roxy was impressed that he was on first name basis with her grandfather already, doubly impressed when they started sharing jokes at the dinner table. Even her grandmother struggled to keep a firm expression, a crack of a smile peeping through very a split second. While they ate meatloaf, Roxy a little reluctantly, Charlie had cheese and cucumber sandwiches and a packet of ready salted crisps. "Sorry about the hassle." He told Mrs. Roundshore. "I'm sure your cooking is fantastic, but I won't eat meat."

"Not to worry, young man. More for us."

"You sound like my brother when no-one wants any cookies."

"Leon?" Roxy guessed.

"No, Mitchell. Do not get between him and a bag of cookies, trust me on that one."

"How many siblings do you have, Charlie?" Frank asked.

"Nine."

"And you are the oldest?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And your parents? Are they happy with ten children?"

"Maddened, but happy, yes. At least I think so. It's a big house, big family, big messes, sometimes big fights. I help to keep things in check as much as I can. It's not easy though."

"I can imagine. Will they all be at the wedding?" Charlie nodded, biting into his sandwich. "When is this wedding anyway? Have you decided a date?" He looked at Roxy.

"Summer. We want it all paid for before we do it."

"Can we help?" Frank offered. Charlie swallowed his mouthful.

"Mum and Dad are paying for it."

"Can they afford it? What with ten children and everything?"

"My nan helps. She's very influential in most areas of the mutant civilisation side of things and she earns alot of money keeping the peace. She puts it all in separate bank accounts for each of us. Mum and Dad are drawing from that. It's to help us start in life. That's how I got my car." He told Roxy. "Vi brought the fluffy dice, that wasn't my idea. I think we've paid for the venue so far."

"And how each of us are going to get there. You're still not allowed to sky dive."

"Oh..." Charlie pouted childishly. Frank laughed.

"You mutants, I love you lot already!"

* * *

They left not long after lunch. It would take a few hours to drive back home as it was and Charlie was going on a serious job hunt tomorrow. Without telling Roxy, he had already started a new savings account, one for a baby. It was so they didn't have to worry so much when the time came and because he was very, very excited at the prospect of being a dad. Officially. No more of this third parent business.

Roxy was about to get in the driver's seat when Charlie took her hand and pulled her back.

"What are you-? Oh my god, that's the-!" Tears welled in her eyes and she waved her hand at her face, fanning herself. "Oh my god, oh my god..." Charlie was smiling, down on one knee. "I remember that ring, oh I'm crying... god, god, god..." She held her left hand out, right over her mouth to shut herself up.

"There." Charlie said as he slid the ring on. "Now it's definitely proper." He stood and looked her in the eye. "You're hyperventaliating."

"It's the ring! _The_ ring! Oh my god..."

"Breathe."

"I'm crying..."

"We can see that." Mrs. Roundshore smiled. Both she and her husband had tears in their eyes. Charlie thought he should start crying too, but he couldn't out-drama Roxy. Not this time. "Oh, sweetheart." The older two hurried towards them and Roxy suddenly couldn't stop spouting 'thank you thank you thank you' over and over. Charlie stood to one side until Frank pulled him into the group hug. Roxy almost squeezed the life out of him, laughing and crying and thanking her grandparents repeatedly.

"It's the ring! It's _the _ring!" She exclaimed excitedly. "I haven't seen this for years, oh my god..."

"Will she be OK?" Charlie asked Frank quietly.

"Maybe you should get her home."

"Good idea."


	36. Fire

"Charlie? Can I ask you something?" Roxy got silence in response and looked up. Charlie was staring at her, eyes wide, his spoon of cereal halfway to his mouth and dripping milk on the counter. Roxy checked for his parents and lowered her voice. "What happened at my grandparents?" He recovered enough to eat his spoonful, wiping milk from his chin on his sleeve. "You panicked, Charlie." She whispered. "Something about fire." He winced. Roxy reached across the island, placing her hand over his. He sat still for a moment, robotically finishing his mouthful. Then he got up and closed the kitchen door. "Charlie?"

"It was bad."

"What was?"

"The fire." He croaked, bending his spoon as easily as she bending a pipe cleaner. "I was eleven. Twins were eight or nine. Just started school. Mutants start later than humans. Power control and all that." Roxy nodded slowly, watching him worriedly. He wasn't looking at her, eyes fixed on the cutlery piece he was twisting out of shape and back again. He let himself have a while to calm his breathing as best he could. "They attacked the school."

"Who did?"

"The five."

"The bad mutants?" He nodded. "What did they do?"

"Set fire to the school." Roxy's brow furrowed in disbelief. Charlie shook his head, straightening the spoon and setting it down. "Not normal fire either. Dark fire. Bad magic, really bad magic. Only the one who started it can put it out." He paused. "Or someone with a higher rank of Darkness." Roxy was now confused. "Two sides to all life." Charlie started. "Light and Darkness. Spirits. Very poweful spirits. They have hosts. The hosts are... are the hosts for as long as they live. Mum's Light. Dad's Darkness."

"_What_?"

"Yeah."

"_How_?" He shrugged. Roxy decided to ask Alfie and Jo later; for now, she needed to know what happened. "So, your dad could put out the fire?" He nodded slowly, pained. "Something happened though, didn't it? What?"

"Leon. He thought Lucy was still in there. It was Danny."

"Who?"

"One of the five."

"Oh."

"He tricked Leon. Made him think Lucy was trapped. Lucy wasn't. She was helping the teachers. Leon went back in and... and..."

"You went in after him?" Roxy guessed. Charlie nodded.

"The whole building was alit. Falling down. I managed to get Leon out, but... I got... the roof caved in, blocked the door. Supports started coming down. I got... I was trapped." Roxy hissed. A trapped mutant was a dead one. That was all mutants' biggest fear. She knew this one, Violet had told her. Ever since the beginning of mutants, humans had tried to control them for their own gain. In the early days, trapped mutants was a rare thing, but as the humans learnt more about their powerful adversaries, they built bigger and stronger traps. The more mutants were trapped, the more they were killed. It soon became common knowledge that a trapped mutant was a dead mutant. "I couldn't move, there was this beam on my shoulders. Pinning me down. The fire kept going, kept growing. I was only eleven. Not at full strength. There was no way I could have moved that beam."

"How long were you stuck there?"

"About forty minutes."

"You survived that long?"

"I was unconscious when they found me."

"You nearly died." Charlie and Roxy both startled. Alfie stood in the doorway, grim. "How you survived that forty minutes, I don't know. I don't think I'll ever know." Charlie looked down. "Is this about your scars?" Charlie flinched.

"What scars?" Roxy asked. Alfie's expression slackened, a rabbit in the headlights.

"Oh..." He said quietly. "Um... sorry, I thought... Charlie..."

"It's fine, Dad." Charlie forced a smile. "She'd have found out anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"Dad. Honest. It's OK." Alfie still didn't look convinced, but he left, closing the door again.

"Charlie?" He looked at her then. Roxy was suddenly reminded of their holiday. They went to the beach to swim in the sea rather than swim in the site's swimming pool. The screaming children and general loud noise of the pool was murder on his hearing. While they splashed about in the ocean, he kept his T-shirt on. He said it was because he burned easily in the sun or that he was happy enough with his tan. Now, she suspected it was something else. "Charlie?" She said again.

He turned his back to her, pulling his jumper and T-shirt over his head as he did so. Roxy caught a gasp in her hands.

"Injuries caused by Dark magic don't heal." He mumbled. Roxy rose slowly, walking over in a daze. His back was covered in vicious, warped scars, the skin puckered, smooth and rough, taut over the muscles of his back. They reminded Roxy of acid burns, branded over his shoulders and all down his spine, splintering out like cracks in a window pane. She lifted her hand, hesitant at first, and then letting her fingers brush against his skin. The second she made contact, images exploded in her mind. Sickeningly bright blue ghostly flames snapped in every figment of her vision. Thick, rancid smoke battled the air, strangled the life in it. Overhead the roof groaned and creaked, chunks of masonry and wooden supports crashing down with ear-splitting thunderous collisions.

A shadow emerged within the flames, stepping over debris as though out for a stroll. A man stepped out, dressed in black from head to toe, skin eerily pale in the dancing haunts of the fire. He walked right past her, crouching before a fallen beam.

"Charlie. What a surprise finding you here." Roxy drifted forward. Before the man, imprisoned beneath the burning wreckage, was eleven year old Charlie. Boyish, smothered in ash and terror, his hair usually so vividly scarlet coated white with dust and plaster. "Very disappointing of my son to leave you here." The man continued calmly, as though discussing the weather. "Let me help you." This man had a very distorted sense of 'help', tossing extra blue flames onto the beam. "No, that's not enough. Ah, I know." He pushed his fingertips against Charlie's forehead. Young Charlie cried out, overwhelming fear violently combining with whatever wicked spells this man was implanting in his mind.

"Stop it!" Roxy cried. She lurched backwards and she was back in the kitchen. Charlie had her by the hands. "Charlie!"

"Are you OK? What happened?"

"The man. Who was he?"

"You saw?"

"You were stuck, this man was there... he... there was more fire, he made _more_ fire. Charlie, who was he? And... he said something about his son too, said... said he was disappointed that he left you there." Roxy met his eyes, the blue-brown gems holding all the terror of a dying eleven year old. "Charlie. Charlie, talk to me, please just say something."

"Roxy... that man... he made... he made me see things... I... I can't..."

"No, don't. Whatever he showed you, tell me in your own time. These scars, Charlie, this is huge." She laced their fingers. "But I _understand_. It all makes sense now." Roxy put her forehead to his. "My god, Charlie... you've kept all that quiet for all this time?"

"I had to."

"No. No you didn't." She took his face in her hands, brushing back his hair. "I'm here for you, Charlie. You don't have to worry about me judging you or hating you or thinking you're a freak or anything. I will worry, yes, but I worry anyway. Of course I worry, I love you."

"I love you too." Roxy slid her arms around his neck and held him tightly. He was warmer than usual, trembling. Roxy shushed him gently, passing her hand through his hair. "That man..." He said in a voice barely above a whisper. "He... he's my granddad."

"What?" Roxy didn't pull away. His arms locked around her waist. She could sense he was worried she would bail, she would reject them all because his grandfather was one of the top five most dangerous mutants that had unleashed immeasurable amounts of terror and destruction for years on humans and mutants alike. "His son... _Alfie_ is his son?" She felt Charlie nod. "But... but you're all so good, how can... how can he be like _that_?" Roxy drew away, looked him in the eye. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"No. Sssh, don't apologise. You don't need to."

"Roxy-"

"No. _You_ are a good person, good mutant, whatever. So is Alfie, Jo, the rest of your siblings. Just because you've got one black sheep- really bad black sheep- doesn't meant I'm going to automatically hate you and your family for eternity." She played with his hair on the back of his head and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you for _you_. And your family for them in case they ask." He smiled weakly. Roxy felt a small stirring of victory and smiled back, teasingly. "You're half naked." He looked down at himself, suddenly remembering his T-shirt and jumper in hand.

"Bet you're loving it." She looked him up and down.

"Well... we could do without this bit..." She gestured at his face. "Other than that, however... hot damn."

"Rude."


	37. Vows

**To YouKnowWho- I know the last six chapters haven't had Christine, I'm sorry! She didn't die, don't worry! I just put that character to one side for the time being, but she is in this chapter! :D**

* * *

"Show me, show me, show me!" Christine grabbed Roxy by the wrist and hauled her inside. Roxy stumbled and spun comically before her friend firmly held her by the shoulders. Roxy lifted her left hand, head spinning. Christine twisted Roxy's hand this way and that, inspecting the ring from all angles with no regard for the fact that Roxy's bones did not turn that way. "And your granddad gave him this?" Roxy nodded. "Oooh, I wish my granddad had this much style, but first-" Then she screamed and hug-tackled Roxy, bouncing and screaming some more. "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!"

"I thought we'd already established that!" Roxy yelled back, her ears ringing. Now she knew what Charlie felt when Christine went ultrasonic. "Which reminds me. I need your help- _do not start screaming again_!" Roxy warned. Christine took a breath and held it, standing perfectly still with her hands in fists before her. "OK, good." Roxy rubbed at her ears. "I need your help with my vows." Her friend made a muffled noise, a stifled scream until she had to inhale. "Calm." Roxy reminded her. "This is serious and I cannot have you going Christine."

"What does _that_ mean? Going Christine? Good god, woman." Christine huffed and flicked her hair from her eyes. "I'm good. See? Good. Perfect, of course, I'm absolutely stunning. What have you got so far then?" Roxy blinked at her. "Vows!" Christine said sharply. "Earth to Roxy, you're wedding is in a month and you've not done your vows! And you tell me I've got a one-tracked mind."

"But you do."

"Well, that depends on how many hot guys are around."

"What about Dylan?"

"_Then_ it is one-tracked."

"Figures."

"So, these vows. Do you have anything written?" Roxy pulled a scruffy bit of paper from her pocket.

"Charlie," She read, "that's it."

"You've just written his _name_?" Roxy hummed, pursing her lips. Christine snatched the paper from her hands, turning it over and holding it up to the light. "That can't be right! Get a pen, woman! We're going to write these today if it's the last thing I do!"

"That's a bit dra-"

"I am dramatic! GET A PEN! NEVERMIND, I'VE GOT ONE! GO AND SIT!"

"Yes, master." Roxy muttered, gaining a kick in the shin for her sarcasm. They sat at the table, Christine distractedly writing over Charlie's name again, following the flow of ink. "Any ideas?"

"Why are struggling to write them?"

"I don't know. I mean, I kind of know what I want to say, it's just... putting them down on paper."

"Well, say them to me and I'll write them."

"No, because you'll throw in a few food-related compliments that'll make him nervous."

"And?"

"Ugh. Give me that." Roxy drew the pen and paper to her. Christine immediately took it back, glaring at her wide-eyed. "Write down what I say as bullet points and we'll turn it into a speech afterwords, OK?" Christine pursed her lips. "_OK_?" Roxy stressed. Christine nodded mutely, pen poised. Roxy sighed, trying to pull her thoughts into some sembelance of sense. "Right... um... Charlie... you're..." She glanced at her friend and felt her face warm. Christine set the pen down with a slap.

"You're an idiot. It's_ Charlie_. And it's _me_. You don't have to be embarrassed with what you tell me, I'm going to hear it all at the wedding anyway."

"But I'll be talking to Charlie then, not you."

"Pretend I'm Charlie then."

"What?"

"Yeah." Christine tucked her hair up, throwing it over her head and clipping it in place at the back, puffing stray strands from her eyes. It looked nothing like Charlie's hair, but at least she was trying. "I paint and stuff. I like to dress in women's clothes. Ah, phooey, I'm an idiot." Roxy snorted with laughter. "Hey! My Charlie impression is impeccable, shut your face!"

"When have you ever heard Charlie say _phooey_?"

"It could happen."

"Uh-huh. Come on. I'm Charlie. Talk to me."

* * *

"What's that you're working on, mate?"

"Vows."

"Ah." Alfie smiled knowingly. He checked for his wife and then lowered his voice, leaning his shoulder against the door frame. "I had to Google some for a few ideas. Just to get started. They were all original, I just needed inspiration." Charlie drummed his pencil on the desk. Alfie came in and sat on his desk beside him. "What are you thinking? Oh, you've written her name. Well done."

"Help me!" Charlie wailed desperately. Alfie patted him on the shoulder.

"Right, think of Roxy. What do you feel?"

"Happy." Alfie took the pencil and paper and wrote _happy_ next to Roxy's name. Charlie looked at his hands, thinking. Alfie surveyed his son's room. Canvases, paints, pencils, pens, sketch books, sharpners and erasers were _everywhere_. The floor, the walls- even the ceiling, some Blu-tacked on, others suspended with string. Then he saw something.

"What's that?" He pointed. Charlie swivelled in his seat.

"A drawing."

"Uh, _duh_." Alfie pushed from the desk and ducked under the papers, stepping over artistic debris. The thing that had really caught his eye was probably one of the best pieces he had ever seen his son produce. It was an A4 sketch book, the whole page covered in a very detailed pencil drawing, shading and textures done so immaculately, it looked so _real_. Roxy was walking in the centre of the page, illuminated in a spotlight. Everything outside the brighter cone was dead, burning, ruined, apocalyptic. Except for what had to be in Roxy's footsteps. Beautiful, deep blue-purple star-shaped flowers sprouted and glowed softly in every place her foot had fallen. She herself was in a halo of sweetly golden sunlight, her hair dancing in a loving summer breeze. Her eyes were the deepest of blues, almost like the flowers. A smile played on her lips, playfully, yet shy. Looking closer, the flowers furthest from her were sprouting lucious green vines, some creeping over rubble and blooming with petals and buds of all colours. She even had flowers in her hair, roses Alfie noticed. Everything behind her, in her circle of light and warmth, was alive, was new, was perfect. He could see the illusion sparkling away from that left behind and gradually improving that ahead. She wore a simple white dress, ruffled in the wind, pooling around her feet. The sky blue above her head, foggy and a sickly yellow-grey of pollution, heavy storm clouds threatening a flood.

Alfie looked back at his son. Charlie's expression was carefully blank. "Use this." Alfie told him.

"What?"

"This. Look." Alfie returned to his seat, thrusting the sketch pad under his son's nose. "Look, this is perfect. When did you draw it?"

"Uh... last week."

"Brilliant."

"I can't just hand her a picture, Dad."

"Charlie, it's not a picture. It _means_ something, something _big_. Look at the detail you've put into this." He tapped the drawing with his finger. "Use it. Put words to it, here." Alfie shoved the scrap of paper into Charlie's other hand. "You tell her exactly what this picture is. Tell her what you were thinking, feeling when you were drawing it." He felt a prescence to his left and recognised his wife.

"Oh Seltik..." Jo teared up, taking the pad from her son. "Charlie, this is... it's _beautiful_. Your father's right, you _have_ to use this." Charlie looked from one to the other. Jo smiled encouragingly, wiping at her eyes with her fingertips. "Listen, Charlie. Sweetheart. Don't let a good thing go. Especially Roxy. If this is what she makes you feel... did you really need anything else?"

"How... how am I-?" Charlie faltered, holding up his measly two words. Jo glanced at them briefly and tutted.

"Like a drawing." Alfie told him. "Just let the pencil flow." He rested a hand on the small of Jo's back. "Let's leave him to it."

Once the door was shut, Charlie faced his desk, laying everything out before him. The drawing was the first serious thing he had done since his muse had returned. _Roxy_, he read, _happy_.

_No_, he thought_, more than happy. Joyous, elated, merry, thrilled, jubilant. I'm walking on air, I'm on cloud nine, I'm flying high. I love you. You're my best friend, you're going to be my wife. _He picked up the pencil. _Roxy_, Charlie started, _happy doesn't even begin to describe what you make me. Love covers nothing of what I feel for you._

Thirty-four minutes and twenty-three seconds later, Charlie sat back, smiling. His paper was full of crossings-out and arrows moving sentences back and forth so it would be spoken smoothly. All he had to do now was write it out again into something that would make far more sense to everyone else too. Well, himself really, considering his nerves didn't fail and made him mess things up.

His phone buzzed.

"Save me!" Roxy hissed. "Christine is driving me _crazy_!"

"Hey. You broke the rules!"

"It's an emergency, it counts!" They had made a pact last night to not contact each other for twenty four hours to work on their vows. "Save me!" Roxy pleaded. "She's coming back, _save me_!"

"I'll be there in ten."

"Oh my god, thank you!" Charlie grinned.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

**I'm away Monday to Friday, so I won't be able to update. I'll try and get up as much as I can before I leave though :D **


	38. Hats and Babies

"See, I was thinking hats."

"Hats?"

"Yeah. Hats."

"Why hats? _What_ hats?" Roxy finished braiding her hair and turned to see Charlie wearing the Monster. "Oh my god, you _did_ buy that, I knew you had!" He smiled cheekily at her. The accursed hat from one of their shopping trips- a large, floppy pink hat with an equally large and floppy purple feather. "I told you no! I hate that thing!"

"You're just jealous that it suits me better than you."

"You want a dress with that?"

"I was thinking-"

"That was sarcasm!" He laughed. "Take it off!"

"No! My hat!" Roxy ended up chasing him around her parents' home. It was unfair, however, because he could jump from the upstairs landing and land in the living room without a problem, jumping back up easily while she was half-way down the stairs. "Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the ninja-hat-man!" When he leapt up onto the landing again, Roxy groaned in annoyance and sank on the step. Charlie watched her, arms folded on the bannister. "Sweet Roxanne. What is with the boat race?"

"There's this idiot in my life. He has the _worst_ fashion taste possible. Insists he's the ninja-hat-man."

"It sounds to me as though you've got a fine catch there."

"More like a pet-toddler-nightmare combination."

"Who also happens to be the man of your dreams."

"I'm not sure he's a man." Charlie gaped at her. "Don't look so surprised. He has a habit of dressing in women's clothes."

"OK, for the record, I only did that twice. One for charity and one to annoy you." The feather fell before his eyes and he went cross-eyed keeping it in sight. "Plus... you get jealous."

"I do not!" He blew shortly on the feather and it disappeared up onto the rim of the hat.

"You so do."

"I don't!"

"Like that cashier girl the other day?"

"She was flirting with a soon-to-be-married man!"

"_Your_ soon-to-be-married man." Charlie smiled. Roxy scowled. Charlie swept the hat off and ventured over to sit next to her. "Would you like to wear the hat?" She shook her head. Charlie put it on her anyway, hugging her and pinning her arms to the side she couldn't remove it. "Only three more weeks." He sang happily. "And if you don't like that hat, I have plenty more." Roxy shot him a sidelong quizzical look. "I buy hats. I like hats. Some relatively normal ones, some... obscure ones. I have a penguin hat, it's _awesome_. And a Hufflepuff cap. You're in Ravenclaw, aren't you? Roxanne Rowena Roundshore. I might have a Ravenclaw cap too. I'm Hufflepuff."

"I know. Why do you have so many hats?"

"I like hats."

"Yes, but _why_?" He shrugged.

"Bad hair day."

"That's every day for you." Roxy teased, squirming in his arms. He blew a raspberry on her cheek and let her go. "Ew! Yuck! Charlie!" She pulled on his jacket, wiping her face on the material. The hat was whipped off her head and back on his. "I will _pay_ you not to wear that hat ever again."

"No. I might wear this to our wedding."

"Don't you dare!"

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

"I get to be the husband!" Roxy face-palmed. "I call dibs." He added seriously. "Now you have to be wifey." He grabbed her shoulders. "Wifey!" He said loudly. "Hello, Wifey! Nice to meet you! I am Husband!"

"Not yet you're not." Roxy wiggled from his grip. "Behave." He shook his head. "No, I need you to. I wanted to talk to you about something." His easy-going look melted. "No, not like that. Don't panic. It's nothing bad, I promise you." He relaxed slightly, still watching her warily. "I just... wanted to talk about... um, children."

"Oh thank Seltik." He slumped on the steps. "You had me worried then."

"I told you it wasn't anything bad." Charlie nodded, looking up at the ceiling as his hand encased hers. "How many do you want?"

"Twenty-four."

"Seriously, Charlie."

"Haven't we had this conversation? About four chapters back?"

"There aren't any chapters, Charlie."

"Yes this is. There's this one. We're in it now. It's called Hats and Babies and the writer is trying to get me to be serious while also displaying a weird obsession and my childish nature." Roxy stared at him. "Now you're worried for my mental health. I assure you, nothing drastic has happened in the last seven seconds aside from the fact that I've broken the fourth wall."

"OK." Roxy decided not to get caught up in that. "Twenty-four. No. Absolutely not. I know you said about one for each letter of the alphabet, but why not have three or something and give them incredibly long names?"

"Now who's being unrealistic?"

"I will end you."

"No you won't. The writer won't allow it."

"I'm sure he will."

"The writer's a she."

"Right."

"Yes."

"Ideally, how many children would have you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Not twenty-four! Do you know how painful childbirth is?"

"I've heard it's like having twenty bones broken at the same time aaaaand that's not helping, is it?" Roxy shook her head, grimacing. "Sorry. I was trying to be sympathetic, but came across a little too cheery, sorry! Here, have my hat."

"I don't- will you not?" Roxy sharply took the hat off and fixed a stern eye on him. "Charlie, just for a minute, please. As much as I love you and your weird ways, I just need to know that... that... they'll be half-mutant and... I..." Charlie sat up. "So many things could go wrong." She whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

"Hey." Charlie said kindly, lowering his voice to match hers. "Roxy, listen to me." He brushed her hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. "Nothing will go wrong. I'll be with you every step of the way, I'll keep on top of the schedule, you will be the happiest pregnant woman ever." He kissed her forehead. "And I will abide by whatever strange cravings crop up. Even if it's soap and sardines or something."

"Ew." Roxy wrinkled her nose.

"I know."

"I was hoping for an excessive craving for chocolate or chips or maybe go down the healthy route, oranges or something. Ugh."

"What about a Terry's chocolate orange?"

"Perfect."

"Can I have my hat back?"

"I'm burning this."

"I paid good money for that!"

"Happy wife, happy life."

"See, that doesn't apply yet. You're not Wifey. And where did you hear that? Did Mum tell you that, I bet she did. I'm having words. Excuse me one second." He retrieved his phone and pressed two on speedial. "Yes, hello, mother dearest. What's this happy wife, happy life milarky you've told my Roxy?" Roxy felt her face flush and looked down at their entwined hands, smiling to herself. "I'll have you know, _mother_, that it's happy spouse, happy house. That way it's gender neutral and everybody's happy! Yay! No, I'm not hyper. I've been good today, only one chocolate bar. If you're going to be like that, I'll jinx my hat to your head _forever_, mother or not. OK, bye. Love ya." Charlie hung up. "Yeah, I'm grounded."

"That's what you get for living with your parents." Something behind his eyes clicked. "What?"

"We could get our own place."

"What?"

"Yeah!" He was warming up to the idea. "A small place to start off with and we could have our own room, a nursery, maybe a games room. You could have somewhere for you stuff, maybe a walk-in wardrobe. Women like that thing, don't they? I'll have a hat room. It'll be away from busy cities, we'll have a huge garden." He smiled. "In the summer, we could have the pool out and teach the kids to ride bikes and take them to the beach. We could show them all the rock pools and have picnics, we'll build sandcastles, eat doughnuts, bury me in the sand, go swimming, have ice-cream, play golf and-" Roxy let him daydream, closing her eyes and laying her head on his shoulder. His words painted a picture in her mind of family days out and days in, sitting around the table for dinner, walking them through the park, feeding the ducks, on holiday, nursing every little bump and bruise, every little scrape and nosebleed, cleaning the clothes with ice-cream or chocolate or mud or grass stains, hearing laughter ringing through a warm and happy home, the splash of the bath water, the squeak of a rubber duck, the creak of the stairs as they tried to sneak down in the night to watch TV, the rattle of dice as they played board games, the hush of the house when they were at nursery, at school, maybe a pet dog. "You'll see." Charlie finished softly, seeing she was falling into a peaceful sleep. "It'll be the best."

* * *

**Remember, I'm away all next week, sorry! Family holiday and such, save me! :P **


	39. Dresses and kittens

**I'm really sorry for not updating lately, I've been having a rough week. **

**A random idea given to me by the so-called real life Charlie.**

* * *

"She's going to kill you when she gets back." Leon observed. Charlie paid him no attention, cooing over his new find. "I'm serious." Leon added. HIs twin nodded in agreement, but only half-heartedly, enarmoured by Charlie's latest friend.

"I couldn't _leave_ him!" Charlie insisted. "Look at this face, how could you deny _this_ face?" He held the kitten up to his cheek, pouting. Leon rolled his eyes. Charlie had found the kitten in a box. In fact, the kitten wasn't alone. There were five others. Two were pure ginger, one was black, the one Charlie held was white, brown and grey. The fifth and sixth were opposite versions of each other, one black with white patches and the other white with black patches. "They were cold and hungry and they needed me." All furry babies meowed forlornly in agreement, snuggling up to Charlie.

"Sis, help me out here. Please." Lucy sighed miserably. She gave one of the ginger ones a final pat on the head and rose.

"She'll back in a little while. You're going to have to come up with something."

"Ooh, I know. How about... wait for it, wait for it... _the truth_? That could work." The twins regarded each other, arms folding simulatenously. "Don't give me that look." Charlie warned. "I know what I'm doing. Roxy may go a bit crazy, but she could always have a kitten. That's what Vikings used to give new brides when they moved in with their husbands. Roxy can have one too!" He looked from one purring mass to the other, struggling. "Actually. No. They're all mine!" He bundled them up in his arms and disappeared.

* * *

Roxy was out dress shopping at this time. She wouldn't find out about the kittens until much later. Her main battle this very second was locating the perfect wedding dress. She did like some of them, but none of them screamed out to her. And she wasn't particularly fond of having a traditional white dress, she wanted something with colour.

In her boredom, Christine was trying on dresses too, swishing about in the long skirts and hogging the mirrors.

"The only reason I'll get married is to wear a dress like this." She declared, spinning and flaring the skirts about her knees. _She_ looked comfortable in that dress. Roxy had not. "Then again, I may never take it off, so... would that be a bad thing? No, can't be." Christine shook her head. "This will be lovely forever."

"You'll smell." Roxy pointed out.

"I'll shower with it on." Marie stifled giggles. Roxy moved back to the first rack, sighing. Her mother and Jo stood on the other side.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm not really keen on any of these. I need something... something else. Something that's not white."

"What did you have in mind?" Jo asked kindly. Roxy hummed in thought.

"Blue. Like, a pale blue, sky blue. But I wanted yellow as well, sunshine yellow." Roxy looked down at herself. Violet popped up out of nowhere, grinning.

"I know exactly what you want. Here, wear this." She thrust a dress in Roxy's arms. It was the third one she had tried on and it was alright. It had long sleeves that clung to her arms, a bodice that covered her, leaving only a rounded neck-line a little below her throat. The shoulders were puffs of material, something she had always liked as a child on Disney Princesses. The skirt cinched at the waist and fell down to the floor in sweeping tresses, layer over layer of soft, silken material. The top layer reminded her of stage curtains, parting to show the pale pink layer beneath. "Go!" Violet beamed. "Go and put that on and I'll work some magic." She waggled her fingers, colourful sparks spiralling upwards. Roxy decided not to question the craziness, disappearing back into the changing room.

* * *

"I've named them all." Charlie announced proudly.

"And you've given them all collars."

"Yes. Want to know their names?" Charlie smiled. Leon and Lucy just humoured him. "We have Bing-Bong," He pointed at the black one with white patches, "Lolo," a ginger one, "Shaba," the black one, "Laba," the second ginger kitten, "Ding," white with black patches, "Dong." He finished, naming the brown, white and grey mottled kitten.

"Shabalabadingdong?" Lucy quizzed.

"Bing-Bong and Lolo?" Leon added.

"I was thinking Steve-"

"Or Tim-"

"Jeffery-"

"Stripes-"

"Max-"

"Kitten!" Leon gave a Charlie-like squeal and then sighed. "Sometimes, I feel like _we_ are the older siblings." Lucy bowed her head in agreement. "Charlie, you know how it is. Once you name it- or them- you start getting attached to it."

"Oh, too late to _start_ getting attached. They're mine now."

"Roxy, is going to murder you. Literally string you up by your innards murder you."

"I can handle that."

"Well then..." Lucy clapped her hands together. "In that case, we are leaving. Nice knowing you, Charlie. We'll give the kittens to Mitchell and Chloe once you're gone."

"Thank you."

* * *

"I love it!" Roxy twirled, beaming widely. Her mother burst into tears. "Oh, Mum!"

"No, no, I'm fine! You look wonderful, sweetheart!" Violet had transformed the dress. It was the same style, same many layers of cloth, but now it was Roxy's desired colours.

"Blue and new in one!" Christine smiled. She still hadn't taken off her wedding dress. The main bit of the dress was the sky blue, the sleeves so pale blue they still looked white in a certain lighting. Roxy, however, quite liked the affect. The previous pink bit was now a warm and sunny yellow, as were the 'shoulder clouds' as Violet had called them. Iridescent hues of blues, purples, greens and yellows splattered the hem of the skirt, Roxy's sides and the neckline. "All you need now is something old and something borrowed."

"You could say she borrowed my design of the dress." Violet suggested.

"That's cheating though. I've got something old and borrowed for you." Jo contemplated the dress again. "And I think it'll go very nicely with that, we'll just need to sort your hair-"

"I'll do that!" Christine waved her hand in the air. "And I'll pick your shoes too, not that you'll really need any with that long dress... no-one will know..."

"And I've already picked your flowers, Roxy." Marie wiped at her eyes, still smiling. "It'll all be perfect, you'll see." Roxy felt her own tears welling up, biting her lip and sniffing.

"Group hug." She requested before she too started crying. All four women swarmed her.

"My dress is still better than yours." Christine hissed teasingly in Roxy's ear. "Simply because I am wearing it."

"You'll scare Dylan."

"The boy needs scaring."

A phone call broke their warm huddle. Jo pulled her phone from her pocket, frowning.

"It's Leon. Hello?" Jo listened for a moment, shaking her head. "Slow down, Leon. What has Charlie done now? Oh really? And he's given them all names? And collars? That's kind of sweet actually..." Jo smiled dreamily then snapped back to full attention. "OK, OK, I'll let her know. Just ignore your brother, you know what he's like. Yes, I'll see you all later." Jo hung up. "Roxy? You know that son of mine?"

"Apparently." Roxy sighed, her arm still around Christine. "What's he done now?"

"Adopted six kittens."

"_What_?"

"And moved in with you as well. This is news to me."

"Can I borrow your phone?" Jo handed it over. Roxy punched in Charlie's number, tapping her foot as it rung. "Hello, Charlie."

"Roxy!"

"I have a bone to pick with you."

"See, why do people say 'a bone'? It makes me feel like you're going to remove a femur or something and poke me with it."

"Focus."

"Yes. Sorry. Focusing."

"Kittens?"

"You're going to love them! Say hello!" A chorus of minute meows echoed through the speaker. "I'll introduce you all later!"

"And you've moved in?"

"Yeah, sorry. I had a spare five minutes and... yes. I live with you now."

"I never said you could."

"Not here." Charlie added. Roxy blinked, baffled. She heard him laugh. "Ask Mum about the Big Surprise. Bye!" He cut off before she could say anything.

"Big Surprise?" Roxy questioned firmly, passing the phone back. Jo smiled sheepishly.

"Yes." She looked to Violet who was bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. "The last few months, Charlie and Alfie have been working to fix up a little cottage about half an hour from us _and_ from your parents." Roxy stared at her, lost for words. Jo's smile broadened. "Big Surprise!" She flailed her hands, jazz-hands. "Ta da!" She continued when Roxy remained surprised. "You'll get used to it, I swear. We're all mad."

"Some more than others." Christine hissed audibly.


	40. Home sweet home

**This chapter is either very long or very descriptive- I'm sorry if it's boring, I just needed this chapter to bridge a gap and then I'll hopefully carry on like normal and possibly update a few other stories.**

* * *

"Are we nearly there?" Roxy asked eagerly as Charlie steered her around a tree root. Blindfolded, she didn't really know where they were, but the amount of twigs, roots and branches she had stepped on, tripped and stumbled over- joined by the smell of dirt, pine trees and wildlife- got her thinking a forest somewhere. Charlie took her hand again, staying quiet. He was probably smiling.

Two minutes later, the ground levelled out, harder under her feet. She could smell freshly mown grass, new wood and paint. A gate clanged shut behind her and Charlie touched her tentatively on the back. Shuffling her left foot back and forth, she determined a smooth path. "Can I look now?" Charlie untied the blindfold in response. Roxy gaped in amazement. Thus was not what she had imagined- it was so much better. A two-storey log cabin, the roof tiled red and black with a brick chimney on the west side. Three windows on the front of the lower floor, the door in between, four windows on top. The curtains had been drawn so her surprise would be greater. A path led to the door, flowerbeds on either side and blooming with snowdrops, daffodils, tulips and honeysuckle. The grass beyond those had been cut to perfection, encased in wooden fences painted white-blue-white-blue. The front garden circled the house. Charlie took her down the right side, seeing more windows, two top, two bottom. If it hadn't been for him, she would have collapsed with glee. A summer shed stood in one corner, furnished on the inside with the softest looking chairs, bookshelves and a small table, a candle lit in the middle. A pond sat in the other corner, shaped like an eight with a fisherman gnome sat next to the waterfall. Fish swam in lazy circles, disappointed amongst plants and rocks. In the centre, an apple tree grew, red apples glistening and ripe. Charlie gently turned her around. Roxy felt tears brimming, fanning herself and sniffing. He just smiled, holding up a key.

They went to the front, under a sturdy porch, lit gently by a hanging lamp. Roxy wiped her feet on the welcome mat, sliding the key into the lock. She paused, hands trembling.

"You alright?" Charlie asked gently, touching her cheek. Roxy just looked at him, struggling for words. He seemed to understand. "Go on." He encouraged, grinning. Roxy turned the key; the lock clicked. With mounting excitement, she pushed open the door...

The hall ran the length of the house. The stairs were to her right, carpeted red just like the hall. The walls were white, but Charlie had hung painting of flowers and birds in pleasing arrangements. Three doors on the left, one at the bottom of the stairs. Charlie told her another was beyond the staircase, "but look around first, my queen." He flourished his hand. She hurried to the first door on the left, discovering the living room. The carpet was a rich blue with dotted white squares, the black leather sofa mostly hidden under a teal throw with white cushions. A television was mounted on the chimney breast, above the dark oak mantelpiece. A coal fire crackled merrily behind the grill, the marble hearth about it with vases of red and white roses. A glass coffee table was before the sofa, a black ceramic dragon coiled underneath. Roxy flung open the navy curtains directly across from her, gaining a wonderful view of the forest. "This room isn't necessarily finished." Charlie told her. "I was thinking of having a study corner there," He pointed to the left of the fire place, "or along this wall," behind the door, "it's up to you though." He smiled warmly. Roxy beamed at him. "Want to see the rest?"

"Yes!"

Charlie let her run free. She loved the black and white kitchen with the silver appliances and crimson pots and pans with the matching stools at the breakfast bar. She opened every single cupboard and the fridge, finding them all fully stocked with brand new cutlery and crockery. The kitchen was joined to a dining room through an archway, the laminated floor continuing through. The mahogany table could seat six, another vase of roses on the white and gold runner. A chandlier hung from the ceiling, gems tinkling and gleaming in the light, refracting rainbows across the minty white and floral papered walls. French doors at the end led into the garden.

Then she went through to the door beyond the stairs, squealing excitedly at the library. Every inch of the walls was covered by shelves and books. Bean bags and comfortable arm chairs were positioned around the room. Roxy tested every single one of them, laughing when she fell further than expected on to one of the bean bags. Charlie chuckled and helped her up only to be nearly bowled over as she rushed from this room and to the one at the base of the stairs; a game room- football table, dart board, stacks of board games and puzzles, chalk board and more bean bags. Roxy spied a mini fridge stocked with cans and bottles of drink, chocolate and apples from the tree. She helped herself to a Mars bar and water bottle. Charlie waved her upstairs.

The hallway upstiars also had the red carpeting, following on from the theme downstairs. There were three doors up here. The one just off the staircase was the bathroom, smelling of citrus. Charlie had gone the extra measure and stacked the cupboard under the sink with toiletries. The lower half of the wall was tiled a mellow orange and black, the top half painted cream. A mirror was stationed over the sink, gilded golden frame shining. The shower curtain as drawn across the bath, decorated with bubbles. Roxy peered around it, finding a long wide bath and a fancy looking showerhead.

The next room was the main bedroom, big and warm and sweetly lit. A queen-sized bed nestled in an alcove, the headboard filling the space beneath a square ring of cupboards. The wardrobes were built-in, the doors were mirrors with black frames. The carpet was creamy white and extra fluffy under her socks. She checked all the cupboards, finding his and her clothes in neat arrangements; extra bedding and blankets, medicinal supplies and spare toiletries filled the cupboards overhead. Roxy ran a hand across the black and gold bedding, hugging the white cushions and sighing contentedly. "I could get used to this. Show me, show me!" She scrambled from the bed only to find him standing in her way. "Charlie..." She warned. "You've got that look, what are you hiding?" He rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing sheepishly. Roxy flicked him in the chest. "Show me." She ordered. He did, taking her hand and opening the next door for her.

"I know it's a bit forward, but-"

"I love it."

"You do?" Roxy could only nod. A nursery. This was a nursery, ready for a baby. Cot, wardrobe, drawers, changing tables, nightlight, nappies, blankets, soft toys, gender neutral throughout. A deep purple carpet, white and violet walls, a crafted lampshape that cast animal shapes and habitats across the walls. On one of the white walls, Charlie had drawn a family tree, going as far back as their great-grandparents. He had even left room for all his siblings to add any future additions. His and Roxy's names were entwined with delicate vines, one vine trailing down, awaiting a name. Roxy's fingers brushed over it, welling up as her heart beat a little faster. She turned and hugged him. He seemed a bit stunned at first.

"Thank you." She breathed, tears leaving warm paths across her face. He hugged her back, hiding his face in her shoulder. Roxy watched as the animal shapes morphed into beautiful swirling patterns. Charlie told her he had rigged the lampshade to twist every now and then, making various lightshows. "I was going to wait until we were married to show you this, but then I remembered you might wonder where all your stuff went. I've put quite a bit in the loft. I thought I'd let you add the finishing touches." Roxy sniffed, smiling and wiping her eyes with the heel of her palm. "Are you alright?"

"I'm... I'm lost for words... this is just... amazing. Thank you." She looked back at the nursery, recalling his daydreams for their own family life. She squeezed his hands. "I can't wait." He grinned. Roxy kissed him, arms sliding around his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	41. Languages and last names

"Do you know what today is?" Charlie grabbed her by the shoulders, bouncing.

"The day before the day before our wedding?"

"It's Friday! But also, yes. Technically the last time we will see each other before the big day. Oooh, I'm so excited! And slightly naeusous. Ugh, what is this?"

"Nerves." Roxy was feeling naeusous too. "It will go OK, right?"

"I'm involved, of course it will." She hummed disbelievingly. "Oy!" He trapped her in his arms and blew a raspberry on her cheek. Roxy protested instantly, trying to get free. He only held her tighter, fingers attacking all her ticklish spots. She squealed and redoubled her efforts to escape, tripping over her own feet and bringing Charlie down with her. "Ow."

"Why are _you_ saying _ow_? I broke your fall!" He said nothing, going for her weak spots again. "No! No, no!" She dissolved into giggles, stuck beneath him, completely at his mercy. She was saved by his phone ringing. He groaned in annoyance and then mouthed a curse when he saw who it was. "Everything OK?" Roxy asked, using the time to escape. He made a face and answered.

"Pierre." There was a faint buzz on the other end. Charlie face-palmed. "Excuse my French, Roxy, but-" And instead of swearing, he started speaknig rapid French, apparently arguing with this Pierre bloke. Roxy watched, absolutely fascinated. For starters, _he spoke French_. Secondly, angry Charlie was a little scary and for some strange reason, she _liked_ it. He paced back and forth as he fell deeper into the quarrel. Roxy found herself sitting on the edge of te sofa, staring at him in awe. When he turned back to her and saw the dreamy smile, he raised a brow. Her smile brightened. He looked cute when he was confused.

The argument lasted another eight minutes. Charlie cut off after a sharp, biting remark, tossing his phone onto the sofa. He started talking in French to her, realised and switched to Gaelic. He frowned, spoke German, Mandarin, Welsh and then finally English. "Sorry." Roxy started laughing. "What?"

"I don't know!"

"Um... OK?"

"How come you speak so many languages?"

"Oh. Uh... it's, um, part of the speaking to animals thing. We are technically animals, being mammals and all. Different languages come easy to me, I just sometimes have trouble switching to English."

"What did this Pierre want? You didn't sound very happy with him."

"Ugh, Pierre is one of our French contacts, but he is the most annoying git _ever_. He doesn't ring up when there's an _actual_ emergency, he rings when someone's dog pooed on his lawn or something."

"Can't you fire him?"

"We will. Violet's the head honcho with all this; she's trying to find a suitable replacement." He rubbed at his jaw, eyeing his phone unhappily. "He's probably going to call her now and... well..." He looked sheepish.

"What did you say?" She quizzed eagerly.

"I may or may not have told him to go suck a baguette..." Roxy snorted with laughter. "Don't. Any jabs at French culture or playing with stereotypes, he takes it _way_ too much to heart." His phone started ringing again. "Hi, Violet." There was a pause and he put her on speaker.

"THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN SEND A HOWLER RIGHT NOW!" Violet raged. "WHY IS PIERRE RINGING ME? YOU KNOW I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD HE'S SAYING, I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH!"

"So I let the funky music do the talking, talking now-"

"CHARLIE YACHTMAN, I'M BEING SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, WILL YOU PLEASE NOT START SINGING SONGS FROM GIRL BANDS LONG DISMISSED! GET HERE NOW AND TRANSLATE RIGHT THIS SECOND FIVE MINUTES AGO OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

"You can't ground me."

"I WILL BURY YOU!"

"That is not grounding!"

"IT IS IN MY BOOK!"

"Violet, your book is Insanity!" That was Damian. "I can hear you upstairs, stop picking on Charlie. Don't pull that face. Pierre annoys me too, but Charlie can't really do anything about him. He's only a contact for you."

"Still!" Violet protested. Roxy was absolutely beside herself, laughing so much her sides hurt. Charlie was looking at her, amused yet concerned. "Is that someone dying in the background?"

"Roxy."

"Go and help her. Then we're going to France and Pierre's going to get it. Via translation."

"Can Roxy come too?"

"No funny business!"

"No funny business." Charlie promised. "We'll be there soon." Violet hung up before he did. Roxy draw in a breath, looked at him and started laughing all over again. "Are you OK?" She could only nod. "Want to go to France?" Another nod. "Breathe." Charlie advised. She shook her head. Charlie sat next to her and waited until her giggles faded away.

"Oh my god..." Roxy smiled feebly, face hurting, wiping at her eyes. "Oh my god, I haven't found anything that funny since Christine got her leg stuck in a trouser press."

"What?"

"Doesn't matter. We're going to France! I've always wanted to go there! Ooh, are we going to Paris? Let's go to Paris!"

"OK." She squealed excitedly and threw her arms around him. Charlie rubbed at his ears before returning her embrace. "I'll see if we can stay there at some point. I won't see you until the day after tomorrow." He smiled. "Next time I see you-"

"We'll be getting married! I can't wait!"

"Me either!" Roxy beamed, almost strangling him in her enthusiasm. Charlie laughed breathlessly, kissing her cheek. "You'll be Mrs Yachtman soon enough."

"How do you know you won't be Mr Roundshore?"

"Um..." He hesitated. "Roundman. Yachtshore. Yachtshoreroundman. Roundyachtshoreman. Beach. Ocean. Boat."

"I see this is making your head hurt, so I'll take Yachtman." He stuck his tongue out. Roxy shone a sweet smile at him. Charlie decided to keep a close eye on her.


	42. Revelations

**I can't really remember if I gave Charlie a middle name, so I'll give him one now, maybe. And possibly other characters too :D**

* * *

Roxy awoke to a figure looming over her. The lights flared on and Christine screamed at her. Roxy screamed back, terrified. Christine froze, looking at her weirdly. "Why are you screaming?"

"_Why are you screaming_?" Roxy's voice was an octave higher than usual. Christine beamed.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY!"

"I KNOW, BUT IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN?"

"I had a key cut."

"So I _didn't _lose it!"

"No, I borrowed it. Now get up, get up! Lots to do!" Roxy groaned and collapsed back on her bed. Christine yawned. "Actually, good point." She sauntered over to the other side of the bed, fell down and was asleep within seconds. Roxy swore at her. It took another twenty minutes for her to settle back down.

Christine got her up at eight instead, a much more reasonable hour. They filled up on coffee as the other women descended. Violet accidently jumped- or ported as she liked to call it- directly onto the table, her foot in Christine's bowl of cereal.

"Ew." Violet lifted her foot and inspected it, nose wrinkling as milk and mushy cornflakes dripped from her trainer. "Sorry, Kirsty."

"Christine." Roxy coughed.

"Sorry, sorry! I'll get your name right one day, I promise!" Violet took the a wad of tissues from Jo, cleaning her trainer down. "Here." She snapped her fingers and a fresh bowl of cereal appeared before Christine. "Sorry." She murmured, climbing down. "Right, what are we doing?"

"Breakfast." Roxy said around her mouthful, holding up her bowl and spoon of Coco-Pops to prove her point.

"_That_ is not breakfast, _no_. Jo, do that thing." Jo raised a brow. "You know, where you wave your hands and- oh. You know what, I think I'll stop using my powers today." Violet had accidentally turned the table into a rocking horse. Jo changed it back, flicking her fingers. A 'proper' breakfast appeared for her, the bride-to-be, her best friend and her mother. Violet beamed at the full English breakfasts, the stacks of toast and jam, pancakes and syrup and the bowl of porridge buried under sugar. Roxy stared at it all, looking down at her now measly bowl of milky Coco-Pops. She pushed that aside and helped herself to some pancakes. Violet piled her plate up with a bit of everything, pulling the sugary porridge towards her. Jo sat next to Christine, Marie taking a seat beside her daughter.

"Are mutants always this eccentric?" She murmured not so quietly.

"Oh, no." Roxy smiled. "Just the Yachtmans."

"Hey." Jo protested. "Leave me this out of it, I'm a Jones by birth."

"Jo Jones?"

"Josephine Mya Lilo Regina Jones." Violet told them. Jo glared at her. "What? Lilo is a good middle name, Stitch is _awesome_!"

"You do know _Lilo_ is _lost_ in Hawaiian, right?"

"You do know your husband's name isn't Alfie, right?" Violet smirked. "He's actually Alfie-Joe Francis Michael Eugene Phillip Finndigo Yachtman."

"Finndigo?" Jo smiled disbelievingly.

"Finn." Violet told her. "My sort of adopted brother." She told the others. "And the fact that I like the word 'indigio'. It's such a good word!" She started wolfing her food down again, looking mightly pleased with herself. Jo texted Alfie his full name, putting his phone on the table to await his reaction. Roxy was quite looking forward to it.

"What's your middle name then?" Christine asked Violet. Violet, too busy eating to answer, nodded at Jo. Jo sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Violet has the most _sensible_ middle name of us all because _she_ didn't have weird parents." Violet made a face at this. "Well, a non-weird mother at least." Violet started on her porridge and sugar. "Violet Rosanna Yachtman. That's it. Kind of boring actually."

"I've always liked the name Rosanna." Marie smiled. "That was going to be one of your middle names, Roxy, but your father was set on Rowena."

"Does Charlie have any middle names?" Jo nodded, biting into her toast.

"His real name is Charles." She said around her mouthful. "After my granddad." Christine smirked. "Don't. He doesn't know he's Charles."

"He doesn't?" Roxy marvelled. Jo shook her head, sipping her tea. "Why?"

"He's always been Charlie." Violet reached for the butter, knocking the pancake tower over. Jo clicked her fingers and everything righted itself. "Charles Rowan Brooklyn Yachtman." Violet frowned, making a small noise in protest as she swallowed her food.

"What happened to Esteban?"

"We never put that in."

"But I picked that one!"

"You picked Rowan too."

"And?"

"You're such a drama queen."

"I thought that was me?" Christine intervened. Jo smiled and patted her arm.

"Wait until Violet warms up."

"Oh dear." Roxy laughed. "Poor Chrissie. You've never had anyone out-drama you before have you?" Christine sulkily stuck her bottom lip out. Roxy and Marie giggled. Violet was watching this new opponent carefully, wondering how much drama she could _really_ cause. Jo just sipped her tea.

* * *

"You wake him up."

"No, you!"

"I'm awake anyway." Charlie lifted his head from the pillow, seeing Megan and Mitchell lurking by his bed. "What time is it?"

"Time you got your lazy ass up." Megan retorted. "You're getting married in five hours."

"I am!" Charlie punched the air victoriously. "Wait, five hours? Ugh, _waiting_."

"Good things come to those who wait." Mitchell piped in. "Plus, I brought you a coffee, extra sugar."

"Oh, you guys." Charlie sat up, accepting his coffee with a grateful smile. "OK, let's do this." He bounced down the stairs, seeing his siblings and his father at the table. "Oh, and Damian! Hello!"

"We were just waiting for you to get up before leaving." Lucy explained. "We have to go and meet the other women. Anyway, good luck! Don't mess this up!" She, along with all the other girls, disappeared. Damian clapped once and a feast appeared on the table, all of their favourite foods. Charlie immediately tackled the lemon and lime cheesecake, something he hadn't had for _years_.

"Not too much sugar." Alfie warned. "Roxy will kill us."

"Well, me." Charlie beamed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I'm getting married!"

"Yes you are!" Mitchell hugged him tightly around the middle. Connor appeared from under the table, a chocolate digestive in each hand and one or two in his mouth. He gave a dribbly smile, chocolate-tinted salivia leaking down his chin. "Oh, Connor!" Mitchell laughed, summoning a napkin and wiping his little brother's face. "Don't worry, bro-bro." Mitchell grinned at Charlie. "I've got it all set for you. Leon's in charge of the music- I made sure he picked _nice_ songs that _do not_ sing about people's butts." Leon sniggered. "Your suit is ready _after _you've showered and brushed your teeth. Maybe brush your hair as well, I know it doesn't really have any effect, but at least show you've tried to make an effort." Charlie just nodded, amazed at his brother's organisational skills. "The triplets are the flower girls, all the flower baskets and confetti are already at the venue. We set up the chairs this morning, Damian and I. You'll love it, it's great."

"Plus," Damian added, "Connor is going to be the ring bearer, Leon and Mitchell are your best men and Alfie here has the handkerchiefs ready for when the women start crying." Alfie reached under the table, dumping a bin bag on the table. Opening it, he showed them hundreds of clean and neatly folded white squares of cloth. "Although I think he's gone a little overboard, he's done a good job."

"What are you going to do?"

"Make sure Violet doesn't get too excited." Damian shrugged, adding sugar to his coffee. Mitchell whispered to Charlie that that was Damian's fifth caffienated beverage of the last two hours.

Alfie set down his own drink and looked at Damian.

"Speaking of Mum..." He gave Damian a pointed look. Damian choked on his coffee, spluttering and gasping. Leon leant over and hit him on the back helpfully.

"What?" Charlie questioned once the near-death experience was over. Damian shook his head. Alfie grinned slyly. "Dad, tell me!"

"Don't!" Damian croaked.

"Look," Alfie leant forward on his elbows, hands out to be frank with Damian, "I've known it for years, practically _everyone_ has. Except her. But you, no. Too stubborn. Too worried."

"Is this what I think it is?" Charlie believed he was beginning to cotton on. He shared a look with his father and he felt the excitement double, ready to explode. "Damian, you sly dog! I never noticed!" Damian hung his head. "That's _awesome_! It could be a double wedding!" With those words, Leon and Mitchell realised. Connor wasn't listening, happily stuffing his face with chocolate digestives. "Damian, come on! It'd be so cool!"

"No."

"Why?"

"I just... just no." Alfie cast his eyes to the heavens.

"Dad." He said firmly. The others fell quiet. Charlie bit his lip. They knew Damian wasn't Alfie's biological father, but seeing as he had been there since Alfie was born, forty odd years ago, he _was_ Alfie's dad. "You've been putting it off practically your whole life. What's stopping you? And don't come up with some half-baked excuse this time, I want a proper answer. And you can't say _when you're_ _older_, Seltik dammit. _My son_ is getting married today. I think I'm old enough."

"I don't know." Damian admitted.

"You do." Alfie challenged immediately. Damian sighed.

"After everything with... uh, you know." Alfie scowled. His supposed 'real' dad was one of the Five, but the main reason Alfie hated him was that he had trapped Violet in an abusive relationship for nearly five years, forcing her into having Alfie and Ronnie, his little sister. Even now, all these years later, Violet still wasn't completely hundred percent there. "She's happier out of that sort of thing, I don't want to upset her."

"Don't you think she could be happier _in_ that sort of thing?" Charlie asked. Damian started shaking his head and then shrugged again.

"Look, it doesn't matter. It's your wedding today, Charlie, let's just focus on that."

"But-"

"No." Charlie started to protest again. Mitchell distractedly looked at the clock and then started flapping his hands.

"Schedule!" He reminded them all. "Eat faster! You all need a shower!" Charlie watched him, a little miffed that he didn't get to find out more about his grandfather. He turned to set his cheesecake down, seeing Damian shine a timid, grateful smile at Mitchell from the corner of his eye. He was _definitely_ going to get to the bottom of all this.

After his wedding!

* * *

**OK, the thing with Damian in the **_**actual**_** stories goes **_**way**_** more in depth, as with the whole thing with Violet and her abusive partner. I've just added that bit in to give you a general idea of the plot line because the story starts with Violet and goes from there. Technically speaking, I don't have an end for these. I may just do what I did for my OCs, give them all individual stories, but they all need work. For the time being, you lot get Charlie's and glimpses of others. **


	43. The Guest List and then WEDDING!

Roxy's side of the family was considerably smaller than Charlie's, but that wasn't at all surprising. She had her parents, all four grandparents, Christine, Christine's parents, Dylan and his parents and his little twelve year old sister, Mila. Charlie, on the other hand, had all nine of his siblings, his parents, Violet, Damian, Michael, about six other immediate family friends who Roxy couldn't name for the life of her. There was Alfie's cousin, Daisy and her partner, Mark, and their three year old son, Finnigan, named after her father, Finn. He was raiding the buffet table with Violet and Damian. Not to mention Violet's siblings, nieces and nephews and in-laws, about thirty of them at least. And then came some more of Charlie's friends, his American ones who arrived on pegasi. The Jacksons and Valdezs had really cleaned up. Roxy was doubly amazed at how many of them there were, which is saying something considering all the others that had turned up. Watching them all go past the door, Roxy felt her nerves fire up again. She closed the door, feeling her head spin. She knew she was marrying into one of the biggest mutant families in the UK, but she had never truly realised _how_ big.

"You look peaky." Marie worried as she helped her daughter into her dress.

"I knew there would be a lot of people, but… wow…"

"It'll be OK; you'll have your wedding day without a hitch! Oh, give us a twirl!" Roxy did and her mother started crying again. "Don't mind me; I'm so happy for you!"

Violet walked in with Jo, Christine and another woman Roxy didn't recognise. She looked like a younger version of Violet, but her eyes were brown and not so crazed, warm and eager.

"You must be Roxy!" She gushed. "Your dress is _amazing_, I'm so jealous! Oh, I'm Ronnie by the way, Alfie's sister, sorry." She had a slight accent under her British one, something Roxy couldn't place. "It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard loads about you! It's a shame we didn't meet sooner though." At Roxy's blank look, Ronnie smiled apologetically. "We moved to Canada about five years ago."

"We?"

"Tom and I. You'll meet Tom later." Ronnie burned pink as Violet smirked. "Shut up, Mum. Shouldn't you be checking the defences anyway?" Violet grumbled something and vanished with a sharp crack and a puff of multi-coloured smoke. Coughing, Jo swatted it away. "OK," Ronnie said, suddenly deadly serious and drawing them into a huddle, "Roxy, when you throw the flowers, _please_ throw it in Mum's general direction. I'm going to make it so she catches it."

"Why?" Christine asked before Roxy could.

"It's the plan." Jo elaborated. "We're getting her and Damian together _today_, no more messing around."

"Wait, Violet and _Damian_? That's a thing?"

"It will be." Ronnie nodded firmly. She checked her watch. "OK, we've got twenty minutes until the ceremony. Christine, sort her hair, minimal make-up. Jo, the flowers. And…" Ronnie stopped at Marie, who hurriedly introduced herself. "Marie, nice to meet you. Your daughter is perfect for my nephew." Roxy flushed scarlet. "Marie, I need you to double check there is no alcohol on the mutants' buffet table."

"I already have, but why?"

"It's poison to us." Marie's eyes widened. "Yeah." Ronnie nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

"Dad! How do you tie a tie?"

"Oh, Seltik, you _are_ useless! Come here. And stop bouncing!"

"I'm excited!"

"I know, but I will strangle you with this." Alfie flicked the baby blue tie at his eldest's face. Charlie had scrubbed up nicely, smart black suit and shoes, crisp white shirt, the blue tie and Mitchell was out to get a yellow rose for Charlie's buttonhole. Unfortunately, his hair refused to lie flat. It seemed messier than usual, probably because he kept running his hands through it. "Got everything?"

"Um…" Charlie searched his pockets. "I can bring that other thing up. Or should you hold onto it?"

"I'll hold it." Alfie assured, giving one last attempt at tidying Charlie's hair. "Nevermind. You need to be at the altar; Roxy will come along in ten minutes."

"I'm getting married!"

"Yes. Yes you are." Mitchell ran in, put the yellow rose in place and ushered his brother out. Alfie grinned and ruffled Mitchell's hair. "Perfect timing as usual, Mitch."

* * *

"Who on _earth_ did your tie?" Jo flustered.

"Dad."

"Go figure." Jo righted it for him. She had changed into a creamy white dress with a shawl as blue as her eyes, her hair hanging in curls about her shoulders. "Where's Leon? Leon!" Leon appeared out of thin air, Connor on his hip. "Do you have the rings?" In response, Connor gave a double thumbs-up. He had a ring on each digit. Jo sighed in relief, taking her youngest.

"Leon, tuck your shirt in."

"You may want to sort Dad out, Mum. I don't think he likes the tux." Jo muttered something and vanished. "How're you feeling?"

"Very, very… sick actually." Charlie sank onto the step, groaning. Leon sat next to him, looking out at the rows and rows of white wooden chairs with their built-in red velvet back and seat cushions. An aisle ran down the middle, alternating red and white sashes tied around poles supporting baskets of yellow and blue roses. "It was nice of Michael to clear the Hall for us." Charlie nodded in agreement. The Hall was in the main section of Michael's operation, the Mutant Initiation and Independence Organisation. It had been around for far longer than Charlie had been, even longer than their father. Michael and Violet set up the place as the original Rebellion group, changing it once mutants and humans started co-existing. It was a safe haven for mutants; they could learn the Laws surrounding their kind, learn to control their powers, mingle with other mutants and sometimes just come here for a holiday. The Hall was usually used for self-defence training and occasionally big talks from Michael. Today, it was a wedding hall.

Alfie, Lucy, Megan and Mitchell started leading the guests in. Leon hauled Charlie to his feet and dusted him down for a moment. He went off to the side of the make-shift alter and played around with the laptop, connecting it to the speakers and playing the music. Pharrel William's _Happy_ came on, which Mitchell started bopping about to. Violet ran in randomly, looked around and ran back out. Damian stumbled in after her, leaning against the door frame. He took a second to get his breath back and ran after her again. Alfie joined them.

"Huh. Weird." Leon was watching too. "I'll go and see what they're doing. You, stay." He ordered. Charlie made a face at him. Leon replied similarly and fled from the room. Leon had the ability to run almost as fast as the speed of sound. He shouldn't really in his suit, but jumping wasn't always his thing, so he would have to avoid his mother's wrath. Maybe blame Charlie.

He came back half a minute later, a little dishevelled. Charlie helped tidy him as best he could while Leon talked. "Violet's trying to remember where she put her plate of cake. Nothing to worry about. Speaking of, though, I want cake." Charlie waved him to the buffet table on the right side of the hall, the mutants' non-alcoholic-non-death table. Leon got very, _very _hungry after a run.

* * *

Roxy peered around the door. She was seconds from walking down the aisle, her father at her side. Everyone else was sat down. Charlie and Leon stood at the altar, Charlie wiping something from his brother's face. Amelia, Eden and Carly herded her away from the door, dressed in pastel yellow, blue and creamy white dresses so Roxy could tell them apart. Each one carried a basket of flower petals, a wreath of flowers on top of their ebony hair. Connor was there too, watching the two rings on his small pillow with a fierce look of concentration.

"Roxanne." She turned to her father. "I knew this day would come, but it feels too soon."

"Dad… are you going to cry?"

"No, your mother's got that covered." He held his arms out instead and she hugged him. "I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh towards Charlie at the beginning, but I'm glad you're marrying him. He's still going to have to call me 'sir' though, I quite like being called 'sir'." Roxy rolled her eyes, smiling. Christine bustled up behind them, gathering Roxy's train in her hands. Roxy tapped the side of her cheek. Christine wiped at her mouth and smiled innocently.

"I only kissed him."

"Very much, apparently." Mr. Roundshore said under his breath. Roxy bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself laughing. "Are we all good to go then?" He offered his arm to his daughter. Roxy slid hers through his elbow, bouquet of roses in her other.

The music changed. Leon forcefully turned his brother around. Connor came first, eyes fixed on the rings. The triplets followed behind, billowing petals and confetti.

Then came Mr. Roundshore and his daughter.

Charlie felt his heart skip a beat. The dress flowed about her like a different entity, as though she were glowing, the soft blues and yellows of sunny days reflecting in her eyes behind the veil, her dark hair braided and glittery over one shoulder, the train carried behind her almost ten feet long. She smiled at him and then laughed at the goofy smile he gave in return, floating down the aisle on her father's arm as though everything in her life had led to this exact moment. She ascended the steps like an angel, the tresses of her dress tumbling down. Charlie immediately lifted the veil, not wanting anything in the way of seeing her. The priest smiled at them both as they joined hands.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate-"

"I've got my cake! Oh, sorry! Sorry!" Violet ducked into the front row and sat, happily munching on her chocolate cake. The priest cleared his throat, looking amused.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the matrimonial union of these two souls. Before we begin, are there any objections?"

"Yes!" Connor chimed. "Wait… what ob-jec-tion?"

"It means you don't like what they're going to do." Leon hissed in his ear.

"Oh! No then. Carry on." The priest made sure no-one else had anything to say and continued.

"If you would like to read your vows." Charlie bowed his head slightly, discreetly signalling for her to go first.

"Chicken." Roxy smirked, trading Christine her flowers for her vows. "Before I start, there are no intentional clichés in this _at all_, it's just how it turned out." She unfolded the paper, hands shaking. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Charlie, you are, without a doubt, the biggest and most strangest pain in the neck I've ever met."

"Thank you."

"Don't interrupt."

"Sorry. Damn! Sorry," He said to the priest, "sorry, sorry!" Roxy shot him a pointed look and he bit his lip to stop himself apologising again. The priest looked like his agreement to this wedding was the best idea he had ever had.

"But, I suppose without you and your Hat and whatever else you randomly spawn, I guess I'd be pretty bored- Christine, do not clear your throat at me, I'm saying my vows." Roxy huffed. "I... I tried to come up with something original and non-cliché, but I know what you're like. You'd find clichés throughout everything I say. I suppose it's just one of your many quirks though. At first I found them really confusing. Sometimes I find them a little bit annoying. Mostly, they make life interesting. Gives me something to think about, you know? Like, if someone died, could they be a ghost _and_ a zombie? I know it's your way of handling things though and I'm glad you've found that method." Her smile brightened. "I'm really glad I get to see that method. You're a lunatic and you're very rarely serious, but you're _my_ lunatic. Thank God, thank Seltik, thank whoever's up there that we found each other." Roxy felt the weight of Christine's stare on the back of her head. "I mean, thank Christine and her weirdness for dragging me to a bachelor auction. Most definitely couldn't live without that."

"That came out as sarcastic."

"I know." Roxy sighed, eyes closed in irritation at herself. "I swear it wasn't meant to be."

"That's fine." Charlie grinned. "I like your sarcasm. Puts that extra spin on things." Roxy pouted. "What?"

"That was my next line."

"Oh. Sorry. Carry on."

"What I want to say is that... I love you. You _are_ that extra spin on things and if being dizzy for the rest of my life means I get to spend it with you, spin away."

"I can spin now if you want."

"Metaphorical spinning. Read yours." He smiled, spun once and then looked to his father. Alfie passed something forward to Amelia who passed it along her sisters and then finally to Leon, who gave it to Charlie with a knowing grin. It was one of his sketch books.

"I did have something written, but I didn't like it. So, I just went with this." He flipped to a page, pausing for a second before handing it to her. He stayed quiet, watching her carefully. Her mouth was open in a little 'o' of surprise, tears sparkling in her eyes and a steady pink blush filling her cheeks. Her fingertips brushed ever so slightly over the drawing, tracing the swirls of flowers and sparks, the cocoon of light, the rubble in the background and how it reformed into something greater with every step she took. This was the drawing Alfie had found, the drawing that put Roxy at the centre of Charlie's mind, heart and soul. She brought light, beauty, grace and warmth to an otherwise dark, desolate and dank hovel. She sniffed once, wiping at her eyes with trembling fingers. Charlie gave a small smile. "You keep me sane." Roxy's eyes found his and she half-laughed, half-sobbed. She hugged the sketch book to her chest and took his hand.

"Do you, Roxanne Rowena Roundshore, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do." She looked down to see Connor appear, holding the rings on their cushion above his head. She took Charlie's and he took hers.

"Do you, Charles Rowan Esteban Brooklyn Yachtman, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?" Charlie said nothing, staring at the priest in sheer confusion. "Is something the matter?" Charlie turned to his parents.

"I'm _Charles_?" He hissed. Alfie smiled and nodded. Jo was too busy quietly arguing with Violet over the 'Esteban'.

"Charlie?" Roxy grabbed his attention again, looking worried.

"I'm _Charles_." He told her in a shocked whisper.

"I know."

"I didn't!"

"Um..." The priest hesitantly cut in. He raised a brow at Charlie and repeated his question.

"I do." Charlie said this time, still a tad confused, but thrilled he hadn't _completely_ messed things up. They exchanged rings, Roxy's concern having melted away, replaced by the brightest smile Charlie had ever seen.

"You may kiss the bride."

"OK, but we're talking about this Charles thing later."

"Just shut up and come here."

"Don't mind if I do." She giggled and they kissed. Applause and cheers ran out, mixed with sobbing from some of the women. Petals and confetti rained down around them. Connor hit Charlie in the leg with his cushion.

Leon and Christine shoved the newly-weds down the steps, the flower girls and the ring boy joining them to chase them out the hall. Christine managed to get the bouquet back into Roxy's hand before confetti, flower petals and rice swarmed them. She snapped her fingers at the photographer.

"Go!" She ordered. "I'm not paying you to stand there looking... kind of cute actually." She looked him up and down for a moment and then remembered the newly-weds were escaping. "As many pictures of them as you can and then the proper ones!" He ran off with his camera. Christine hurriedly started organising everyone else through the shortcut to get to the front before Charlie and Roxy did.

Charlie, however, knew this shortcut and had taken Roxy down it.

"Want to confuse them?"

"Yes." Roxy answered without hesitation. Charlie was running his hand along the left wall. "What are you looking for?"

"This." He pushed a brick in and a panel of wall slid back. They ducked in and the wall closed. Seconds later, what sounded like a small army rushed past. Charlie snickered to himself, sparking Roxy's humour. "Our first mischief as husband and wife." Roxy put her arms around his neck.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Well, if we don't get there soon, that won't be very long."

"Oh, just a couple more minutes." She stood on her toes to press her lips to his.

"Hello, Mrs. Yachtshoreroundman."

"_Charles_."

"No."


	44. Speeches

"How many pictures does she want?" Roxy hissed through a plastered smile. "My face hurts." Charlie nodded in agreement; Christine immediately scolded him for moving. Roxy was getting bored now. "Christine!" She reprimanded.

"No! It's the last one, just you two! It _has_ to be perfect."

"It already is." Charlie said. "I'm in it." Roxy pinched his arm sharply. "Ow, ow, ow. OK. _We're_ in it." She let go. He pouted sulkily. Then smiled. He gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes, planting a warm kiss on her lips. The camera clicked and Christine herded them towards the after-party in the secondary hall, slightly smaller than the first. This hall had floor to ceiling windows on the western side, glass doors leading out to a beautiful garden blooming with apple trees, rose bushes, butterflies, an abstract art sculpted fountain with the water lovingly cascading down the curves and concaves of the piece and many, many other wonderful things Roxy didn't have time to name or inspect as closely. She was re-introduced to Charlie's guests, their names and faces becoming one big blur. Violet appeared, hugged them both and then disappeared. Damian was doing his best to keep up with her, but she was more interested in the seemingly endless supply of cake. Their parents came next, hugs all around. Christine materialised, congratulated them and then went straight down to business.

"We're going to let the party carry out for a bit and then we'll sit down, have more food. Then the speeches, the cake will brought out, you cut the cake together and then the first dance considering you aren't covered in cake like that lady over there."

"That lady over there is my nan."

"She's mad."

"She prefers creative."

"Uh-huh. You two aren't allowed to dance until I say so. Dance with other people, yes, but no dancing together. Is that clear?"

"This is like a military operation. First dance at seventeen hundred, sir, yes, sir!" Christine booted Charlie in the shin. "Ow! Oh, the pain on my wedding day! You women are violent." Louisa walked past at that moment, glaring at him. "You especially." Charlie took a dramatic step back. The demigod rolled her eyes and carried on. Roxy took Charlie's hand and pulled him over to the buffet table. "Ah, food. You make everything better."

"Why didn't you marry food?"

"Food doesn't last as long as you do."

"Not if you're eating it."

"Hey, I'm _starving_."

"You're always _starving_." Charlie piled up their joint plate with ham and cheese sandwiches, Pringles, sausage rolls, more Pringles and then stopped at the 'nibbles'. "Um, are those snails?" He poked one experimentally. "Who chose the menu?"

"I think Violet did."

"Those are supposed to be s'mores." Roxy startled. Violet stood behind them. "Apparently, my writing is atrocious. Unfortunately, I can't persuade Jo to change them. I am trying, but s'mores are too 'tacky' for a wedding, yet they'll be far more popular than slimy things." She wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, have the chocolate cake or the apple pie. It's _so_ nice."

"Thanks, Vi." Charlie smiled. Violet beamed and toddled off, finding Damian in the crowd and offering him a few crumbs of cake.

"Does she always sneak up on people?"

"She doesn't mean to sneak up on people. Not all the time anyway." Charlie stuffed a sandwich in his mouth. Roxy ate hers a bit more politely. Christine caught up with them.

"I forgot to say you're throwing the flowers _now_."

"I'm eating!"

"Hurry up then." Christine returned the flowers to the bride. Roxy cast her eyes skywards, copying her new husband and eating the sandwich triangle in one go. Charlie grinned triumphantly around his mouthful. Roxy glowered. He finished first, helping himself to more.

"Remember the plan." She could only nod. "Good. This way." He placed a hand on the small of her back, experimentally sniffing the bouquet. "Ooh, very nice. A shame they won't last forever though. Maybe you should take cuttings from them and plant them, that'd be nice." She nodded again, wiping crumbs from her chin. Charlie gave a one-armed hug before leaving her at the front of the hall. The men all stepped back, not letting any of the women depart the centre floor. Christine looked a little miffed that she wasn't allowed to catch the flowers, but if it meant match-making some more, so be it. Charlie stood next to Damian, who was oblivious to the plan, grinning and bouncing excitedly. Damian gave him a querying look, but said nothing.

Roxy swallowed the last of her sandwich, spying Violet to the edge with her back to the goings-on. _How much cake could that woman eat? _Roxy was pretty sure that was her fifth, maybe even sixth piece of cake and she didn't look ready to stop now. Alfie took her plate and turned her round, lips moving in an apology. Roxy turned too, placing her back to them. She prayed that she wouldn't hit a light or the ceiling or someone in the face. Hopefully, a mutant somewhere would add their input and the flowers would fall safely into Violet's hands.

She lobbed the flowers over her head, swivelling quickly to see where they went. Violet wasn't paying attention, licking chocolate smears from her fingers. She startled when the flowers hit her in the head, instinctively catching them as they tumbled down. The look that crossed her face would keep Roxy amused for quite some time to come, such a potent surprise it was comical. Damian was shoved forward and then both of them were bright red. Charlie sidled up to Roxy, sharing a high five. Alfie saluted the new bride thankfully and the party resumed, leaving Damian and Violet in their own little bubble.

"Will they?" Roxy asked when they reached the buffet table and their plate.

"Hopefully." Charlie kissed her cheek. "Dad's been trying to get them officially together for _years_."

"Wait, _officially_?"

"Everybody knew they liked each other. Soulmates." He added. "Every mutant has one."

"And I'm definitely yours?" In response, he held his hand out to her. Roxy hesitated. "What are you doing?"

"Proving it."

"Is this some mutant magic thing?"

"If that's what you want to call it." She placed her hand in his. Rose pink sparks danced across his skin and then across hers, a comforting warmth. Sky blue flecks of light joined them, spiralling around their joined hands, a mix of warm and cool. They started to settle along their skin, creating identical images, like a stamp on the back of their hands. Roxy stared at it in amazement. It was rounded at the bottom, swirls in the centre forming a-

"Wolf's head?"

"Yep."

"Why a wolf's head?"

"Did I ever explain animal spirits to you?"

"Um, no. Don't think so." She peered at his hand, verifying the symbols were the same. The sparks were fading now, the impression of them alone remaining in her mind.

"Everyone, mutant or human, has an animal spirit. Humans don't tend to believe in that sort of thing, so it's harder for them to actually change."

"Change?"

"Oh, yeah. We can change into our animal spirits at will. So I'm a wolf, we all are. Mum and Dad are wolfs and it's near impossible for us kids to be any different."

"Am I a wolf too?"

"No."

"What am I then?"

"A phoenix."

"Come again?"

"A phoenix." He smiled at her bewilderment. "It's good, don't worry. Quite rare, actually."

"And, uh, how do you know that?"

"Simple really." He snapped his fingers and a golden coin appeared in his hand. "Hold this." She did and he closed her fingers around it. "Give it a couple of seconds to lock onto your genetics and your soul."

"Isn't that bad?"

"No. It's like a reader for everything that makes you." The coin stayed cold. "You'll know when it's done when it flashes a colour. There!" Golden light spilled from between her fingers. "You can open your hand now." Roxy obeyed. On one side of the coin was her name, date of birth and star sign. On the other, a majestic phoenix flying up from merry flames. "Phoenix. You can keep that coin."

"How did it know?"

"It's magic."

"But- I'm so confused."

"It's a lot to take in." Charlie put his arm around her shoulders. "But once you get your head around it, it's awesome."

"OK?" With another wave of his hand, Charlie made the coin into a necklace, a thin blue leather string for the loop. He clasped it for her, fingers kind against the back of her neck. "Can we go back to food now? Food doesn't make my head hurt." He laughed.

"Same." They bumped sandwiches as though making a toast.

Everyone started to sit down ten minutes later. Roxy and Charlie hadn't _really_ left the buffet table, sampling everything but the snails. Roxy was starting to feel quite full now, but Charlie was still going. She made pig noises and he mooed back at her, earning a swift pinch on his side.

"Oy!" Christine yelled. "Sit!" They shared amused looks. "Sometime today would be nice!"

"Are we in trouble?" Charlie questioned in Roxy's ear.

"Always." They sat next to each other, her parents on her right and his on his left. Christine and Dylan were sat next to Ronald and Marie. Violet and Damian were beyond Alfie and Jo. Roxy wondered if the plan had worked. She opened her mouth to ask and then her father stood up, tapping his fork against his glass. Silence fell and everyone faced them. Charlie waved, holding Roxy's hand under the table.

"Admittedly," Ronald began, "I wasn't overly happy when Roxy told me she had a boyfriend. I was even less happy when I found out that the said boyfriend was a mutant. Not because I have anything against mutants," he continued, unperturbed by the hisses from the guests, "but because I was worried about my daughter getting hurt, what with all those Laws and such. But I see now that I have nothing to worry about. Charlie, you may be a pain in the backside, but we're _really_ happy to welcome you into the family." Ronald raised his glass. "Just know that if you upset my daughter, there will be hell to pay. To Charlie."

"To Mr. Roundshore," Charlie said, raising his glass of orange juice, "and those damn fine shoulders."

"Charlie! Stop flirting with my dad!"

"I can't help it!" He smiled sheepishly at her. She could see he was nervous.

"Remember you're married now." She warned playfully. He squeezed her hand gratefully.

Alfie stood up next, leaning over to shake hands with Ronald.

"We had a bet with Charlie." He said, resting a hand on Jo's shoulder. "We knew when Roxy turned up those two were bound together. The cocky little git, after making this bet with us, was up and out instantly. When we asked where he was going, he said 'I'm off to fill my end of the deal'." Alfie made a face at his son. Charlie stuck his tongue out. "If I'm honest, we were expecting to wait longer for this, but hey. Things happened. I was never mad at you for calling it off with Charlie." Roxy bit her lip. "I think only Connor was and even then he's too little to understand."

"I am not little!" Connor called from the table nearest to the front. He was standing on his chair to see over the table.

"No, of course you're not." Alfie promised. Connor nodded, moving over to sit on Leon's lap. "Welcome to the Yachtmans, Roxy. I would say we're a relatively normal bunch, but you've met my mother."

"Hey!"

"To Charlie and Roxy." Alfie held his glass up, also orange juice. "And their marriage, a life-long contract of ridicule and pain." Jo punched Alfie in the hip. "Exactly what I mean." He muttered. The second toast was carried out. Roxy had missed the first one when she had told Charlie off for flirting with her father.

"My turn!" Connor's hand shot into the air, nearly taking Leon's face off. "My turn, my turn!"

"OK." Alfie sat back down. Connor slipped from his brother's lap and scurried over to stand before the main table. He stood on his toes to take Charlie's drink and then cleared his throat as he turned back to the guests. Jo hummed, proud and overwhelmed at this new burst of adorableness. Lucy had the camera retrained on her baby brother.

"I like Roxy." Connor said. "She makes Charlie happy. Charlie makes everyone else happy, so he needs someone to make him happy too. It is only fair." Connor traced his finger around the rim of the glass. "I was mad when she left. Charlie was not happy. He let me paint, but he did not paint with me. Charlie only stops painting when he is very much not happy. Then Roxy came back. She pinky-promised me she would never go again." Connor looked back at Roxy. "You keep that pinky-promise?"

"I have." Roxy smiled. "And I will."

"Charlie?"

"Connor?" Connor held up the glass.

"You are happy. You can stop taking those tablets now." Charlie's smile dimmed. Connor frowned at him in confusion. Alfie and Jo leaned forward to peer at their son.

"What tablets?"

"Uh…" Charlie answered brilliantly.

"Oy." Connor told his parents. "You will make him flip."

"Flip?" Alfie repeated. "Charlie, what's he on about?" Charlie's grip on Roxy's hand was firm, slightly painful. He struck Roxy as a rabbit caught in the headlights, recognising the sudden tightness in his chest. Connor climbed under the table and up onto Charlie's lap.

"Mum and Dad do not know, do they?" Charlie didn't answer.

"No, they didn't." Roxy replied. Connor's bottom lip wobbled. "It's alright, Connor, you didn't know."

"And you did?" Jo was on her feet now.

"Only some of it."

"He wasn't talking about his scars that time, was he?" Alfie asked her quietly.

"No. Don't crowd him." Roxy lifted Connor kindly and gave him to his father. "Charlie, stand up." She prised her hand free, taking hold of his arm and putting it about her shoulders. "Come on, up. That's it." She led him out the glass doors behind them and over to a stone bench. He sat there, gripping the sides of the bench tightly. Roxy sat next to him, space between them. Alfie and Jo were standing in the doorway, Connor sat on his father's hip. Roxy held up a finger, silently requesting they wait. Her in-laws shared dubious looks.

"We want answers."

"I know. But don't hound him. He needs to calm down first." As the words left her lips, Charlie managed a shaky inhalation.

"Flip." Alfie repeated, understanding dawning on him. He met his wife's gaze. "Panic." He translated. Connor nodded.

"Flip." He confirmed.

"Oh, Seltik. Charlie, we're right here, take your time." They closed the doors and returned to their seats, reluctantly but understandingly.

"Charlie." Roxy called softly. "It's alright. They'll know what to do." He gave the tiniest shake of his head, breathing out slowly. "I know you didn't want to tell them. But it's better to be honest with them, don't you think?" There was a dull crack. Roxy looked down and saw jagged lines in the stone crawling from beneath his palm. His mutant strength had never really shown itself in an episode. Part of her wanted to know more, but she had to help him. "Do you want me to go in?"

"No." He choked. Roxy pressed her lips together, running through her mind how to calm him. In the end, she started speaking of his dreams for them, for the family he planned to have and raise with her, all the little mishaps they could expect, the milestones to anticipate, the days out he wanted to do, the zoo, the park, the farm, the funfair, family weekends, movie marathons. "And the more I think about it," Roxy carefully put her hand on his, "the more I want it. And not in a year, like your mother said. As soon as possible." His breathing had evened out, his hold slacking on the bench. "I even picked a few names." She admitted timidly. "It wouldn't surprise me if you have as well, but it was kind of difficult thinking of names your family doesn't have. I had to sit and study your family tree for _days_." She fell silent, letting him gather his thoughts.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I was hoping that wouldn't happen today."

"Charlie-"

"It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life and I've ruined it."

"No. No, no, no." She reached over to take hold of his hands. "Charlie, look at me. You've not ruined anything, I promise you. I'm really quite glad I got to talk to you seriously for a change." He smiled weakly. "But you have _not_ ruined anything. This is the first day of the rest of our lives together; it could not be more perfect." She smiled, eyes watering. "I love you, Charlie Yachtman." Charlie seemed stunned at this for a moment, his smile returning with every former calibre.

"I love you too, Roxy _Yachtman_."

"Yachtshoreroundman."

"That works too." She stood, helping him to his feet.

"Are you going to be alright?" He met her eyes.

"I've got you, haven't I?"


	45. First dance

Roxy stood to one side while Charlie quietly explained to his parents. They seemed a bit miffed he hadn't said anything sooner. Violet and the twins filtered over, Violet actually setting aside her cake to hug her eldest grandson. She barely reached his shoulder, but she seemed to be cracking his ribs a good deal. Alfie had to detach her, only for her to wave her hands in protest and stomp her foot. Her lips moved; Roxy didn't hear what she had to say, yet Charlie did his best to soothe her.

"Roxy."

"Hello, Dad."

"Tablets?"

"Yeah..." Roxy sighed. "I'll double check with him if it's alright for you and Mum to know." Her father nodded, jaw clenching in irritation. "Sorry."

"No, we understand." Marie gave her daughter a quick hug. "I just hope Charlie's going to be alright. Oh, it's so sweet that you help calm him down though." Roxy shone a timid smile. "Is there anything we can do?"

"No. Thank you." Roxy glanced back over at the Yachtmans. Violet had mellowed a little, even offering her cake to Charlie with a cheeky, chocolate-smeared grin. Jo gripped her son's hand, squeezing reassuringly. Alfie clapped him on the shoulder, Leon punched him in the arm and Lucy hit her twin for hitting Charlie. That quickly dissolved into a slap fight. Violet and Alfie egged them on, "Fight, fight, fight," while Charlie and Jo tried to seperate them. "I should- go..." Roxy hurried over, grabbing hold of Lucy's wrist and smiling. Lucy froze, relaxing slightly. "Are we good here? Yes? Excellent. You two aren't helping." Violet and Alfie shared amused looks. Roxy looked to her new husband. "Mum and Dad want to know if you're alright?" He nodded. "And if I'm OK to tell them?" He paused, biting his lip.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm-hm." Roxy narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'll wait until you're a hundred percent sure."

"Thank you." Christine emerged in the group, shooting Leon a flirty smirk. Roxy flicked her arm.

"Ow! Anyway, _first dance_!" She locked iron grips on the new couple's arms and hauled them into the centre of the floor. "MUSIC!" She bellowed. Mitchell fumbled with the disc, startled, and then finally managed to place it in the laptop. "Quickly, quickly!" Christine bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet. "I picked this one for you!"

"If it starts playing as _apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur,_ I will kill you." Roxy warned.

"I was tempted. Buuutttt... I found something nicer. Wait!"

Roxy leant her head towards Charlie.

"Is this a good idea?"

"Probably not."

"Should we do something?"

"Do we dare?"

"Probably not." He nodded in agreement, chewing his lip. "Hey, stop it." She ran her thumb over his lips. "How are you at dancing?"

"Adequate?"

"Better than me then."

"Oh, it's fine. It's not like our entire family and friends are watching or anything." Roxy pursed her lips and he kissed her forehead. The music started playing. It took a second for them to figure out what the song was; Roxy recognised it first. Meghan Trainor's '_I'm gonna love you... like I'm gonna lose you_'. That wasn't the name of the song, just the bit Roxy remembered the most. Charlie placed a warm, gentle hand on her waist, taking the other and smiling excitedly. Roxy put her free hand on his shoulder, his enthusiasm coursing through her infectiously. There weren't any fancy moves or lifts or dips, nothing off that sort. Just the most graceful and simple dance they could manage. Midnight dances in the kitchen had been in their pyjamas with upbeat music and wild swinging and out-of-time steps. They had fun though. Roxy couldn't decide which dance style was her favourite- one crazy and energetic, the other sweet and slow, but just as entertaining. "Maybe we should take up proper dancing."

"In your dreams."

"Ah, it'll be fun. Maybe Spanish dancing, what is it? Salsa? Isn't that a sauce?"

"Shut up and dance."

"That's the next song!" Christine beamed.

"I've a friend-in-law crazy."

"Hey, I'm marrying into _your_ family. _That_ is crazy."

"Yeah, but you love it."

"Mostly you though."

"Just mostly?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, it's nice when you're asleep. You stop talking for a few hours." He wrinkled his nose at her. Roxy laughed softly, standing on her toes to kiss him lightly. "I love you all the same, _Charles_."

"_Roxanne_."


	46. KABOOM

**I was going to be nice, buuuuttt….**

* * *

Christine was just turning to get the next song started when the wall exploded. Anyone standing towards the northern side was hurled away on a tsunami of rubble, smoke, dust and flames. Screams and cries stabbed at the air, ears still ringing from the initial detonation.

Roxy saw her best friend go down, shrieking in horror. She bundled up her dress and raced forward, falling at Christine's side.

"Chrissie! Chrissie, no!" Her hands trembled as she frantically searched for a pulse, any sign of life. Charlie appeared opposite her, red hair almost pink under the shower of debris. He found a pulse, weak and timid, but it was there. Roxy sobbed in relief. Her father, rattled yet unhurt, took charge alongside Alfie, Violet and Damian. They started shepherding those uninjured into the garden. Michael led them from there, through a door in the hedges. Daisy, Alfie's cousin, and her father, Finn, both Medi-Mutants, rushed to and fro, healing what wounds they could. Roxy watched anxiously, searching for her mother.

"There." Charlie pointed. Marie had her leg trapped under a particularly large chunk of the wall. "Stay with Christine, I'll help her." Charlie squeezed her shoulder and took off. Roxy gripped Christine's hand, watching over her shoulder. Her new husband lifted the slab of rock and Marie dragged herself free, muffled whimpers slipping past her clamped lips. Charlie propped the brick and mortar lump against a crumbling wall in the hope that it would offer a little more support. He crouched next to Marie, checking her over. "What's your name?"

"You know my name. Oh, concussion checking. I'm Marie Angela Roundshore and you're Charles Rowan Esteban Brooklyn Yachtman." Charlie made a face. Marie grabbed his wrist. "Roxy?" She asked desperately. "Ronald?"

"Both fine, I promise." Her leg was broken. Charlie snapped the legs of a damaged chair and tore away a tablecloth, using them to craft a makeshift splint. Marie looked green-grey once he was done. "Just stay put, Finn and Daisy are going around." Marie nodded and Charlie rose, running a hand through his hair. It came away covered in dust and blood.

"Are you alright?" Marie asked, seeing his expression.

"Fine. Mum!" He called. "Mum! Twins! Megan!" He called for the rest of his siblings. Jo was helping Michael, the triplets and Connor with her. Megan was digging Mitchell out from under a pile of stone. Charlie quickly joined her, finding their brother coughing, bruised and bleeding, but alive. Mitchell immediately asked about Chloe once his breath returned. "I'll find her. Megan, keep an eye out for the twins." Megan nodded once. Charlie set off again, passing Roxy. She was talking nineteen-to-the-dozen to Christine, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Hey." Charlie said softly. "She'll be alright. Finn and Daisy are the best Meds I've ever known."

"But they're so busy, what happened, what was that explosion?" Roxy hiccupped. "Who's hurt, did anyone… no-one… oh good god, please tell me no-one was killed!"

"Not from what I can see." Charlie assured. "Just keep talking to Chrissie; I've got to find Chloe and the twins." Roxy nodded, sniffling. Charlie left her once more, turning to see the demigods had recovered and were helping dig out those trapped. Chloe was one of them, looking more annoyed than hurt.

"This is your wedding day!" She raged. "Whoever blew up that wall needs a right old slap!"

"Agreed." Charlie smiled, checking for injuries. "Mitchell's asking for you, let him know you're alright." Chloe nodded and limped away. "Leon! Lucy!"

"Here!" Lucy's voice was faint. "Charlie, over here! Leon's not waking up!" Charlie found them closest to the destruction. Lucy was beside herself, latching onto her brother's arm. "Charlie, help him! Please help him!" Charlie shushed her kindly, brushing back her sticky fringe. She had a cut on her cheek and many more on her arms. Leon was lying next to her, already in the recovery position. "Leon!" She cried. "Leon, wake up!"

"Leon." Charlie tried. "Hey, bro. Can you hear me?" Charlie counted his brother's pulse. "Leon, buddy, you have to wake up. Lucy needs you." He ran a head-to-toe inspection on Leon, finding a crack in his skull and damage to his spine and shoulders. "Lucy, what happened? Deep breaths, Lucy, I need you to try, alright?" Lucy had started hyperventilating, uncontrollable sobs making her hiccup violently.

"He-must-have-known," she gasped, "he-ran… ran-to-me-and… and… and…" She burst into a fresh flood of tears, any words that followed inconceivable. Charlie called Finn over, relaying his findings. Finn inclined his head, all business.

"Take her." He nodded at Lucy. She screamed in defiance. There was no separating the twins, especially not in situations like this. Charlie had to grab her to stop her hitting out at Finn in her disorientated frustration.

"Lucy, listen to me. Leon's going to pick up on this, you know he is. He needs you to be calm otherwise he'll stress." Lucy went still and limp, sobbing against Charlie's shoulder. "It'll be alright, Leon will be fine, you'll see. He'll wake up and demand food, you know that." Lucy hid her face in his shirt. Charlie silently inspected their surroundings. The hall, so gloriously set up for their wedding, was a mess, a bigger mess than he first realised. People were still being dug out, Daisy and Finn had their work cut out for them. Louisa and Percy were clearing away the smoke and dust so breathing wouldn't be so hazardous. The other Valdezs and Jacksons were shifting rubble and escorting people to safety. Violet must have sent word out as more mutants were appearing from thin air, Finn's medical forces picking up the slack. Violet and Damian were investigating beyond the north side. Alfie was organizing scouting parties with the new arrivals and those fit enough to assist.

One of the Meds stopped to help Christine. Charlie saw Roxy's face light up hopefully. Dylan had been uncovered and was beside her, bleeding from a laceration on his forehead. Charlie felt his own head, finding more blood there. Finn noticed immediately, shaking his head.

"Charlie, you're going to be the death of you."

"Is Leon going to be OK?" Charlie asked. Finn ran his fingers down Leon's spine, homely blue sparks spiralling from his fingertips.

"He may have to have a little physical therapy or walk with a support for a while, but he should be fine. Leon, mate." Finn placed a hand on his patient's shoulder. "Come on, pal, wakey wakey."

"Ugh… five more minutes…" Lucy gasped ecstatically.

"Leon!"

"Does no-one grasp the concept of five more minutes?" He groaned groggily. His eyes opened blearily. "Wait…"

"Don't move." Finn instructed. "Your spine has some healing to do first. There's your five minutes." He added with a playful smirk. He went off to help elsewhere.

"Leon!" Lucy cried, relief crashing over her as heavily as her previous hysteria. "You idiot, what you were thinking?"

"You know me, sis. I don't think."

"Are you going to be OK?" Charlie said to them both. They nodded, calmer now reunited. "Call if you need me." He ventured off, joining Violet and Damian. "What happened?"

"That." Violet pointed. Charlie didn't see anything to begin with. Then he realised his grandmother was pointing at a small group just outside the borders.

"But… they can't get in. How did they… the wall, what did they do?" Violet and Damian shared wary looks. "No, don't tell me they've pulled one of their schemes; their magic doesn't work past the Line, everyone knows that. _They_ can't even get past the Line."

"They had someone on the inside." Damian explained carefully. "Someone who got under our radar."

"But how?" Violet rubbed at her forehead. Charlie noticed she had come across as really weary all of a sudden. "Vi?" Damian recognised his concern, features tightening. "What?" Charlie demanded.

"I think someone may have snuck in with Dark Fire or Water." Charlie winced. Violet's weakness. This all came back to animal spirits. Whereas Charlie, his siblings and his parents were wolves, Violet had a rare animal spirit; she was a dragon. Rarer than a phoenix, like Roxy, and far more powerful. But that came at a cost. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. "She won't listen though, far too stubborn for her own good. Watch. Vi, go over there."

"No."

"My point exactly. Anyway, I think that whoever they had on the inside was the bomb."

"Charming."

"Inhumane." Damian corrected. "No evidence except that they hung around to watch." He snapped his fingers, conjuring up a pair of binoculars and handing them to Charlie. Charlie scanned the Line, spying the Five just outside of it. Danny waved almost casually. Violet made a very rude hand gesture that she instantly told Charlie not to repeat. "Go and tell your dad and the demigods. We need border patrol ASAP. Any free mutants too, we need defences." Charlie nodded and hurried off to follow the orders. Damian turned to Violet. "Will you be alright?"

"Peachy." She muttered. "Nothing cake can't fix."

"You've practically eaten a bakery today."

"And? I'm still hungry."

"I can see where Alfie gets that from then." Damian sighed. "How many are left in here?"

"Humans are out now. The Meds should be helping the others out soon too. Just need to clear this up and dump a nuke on their heads."

"Vi, we've talked about nukes. They won't just kill them, they will kill everyone within the radius of, let's say, a city. That's the entirety of this place."

"I know that."

"Sometimes I think you don't."

"Oh, I do. I just don't like to acknowledge it."

"Of course." Damian pushed a hand through his hair. "And there I was thinking that this wedding really was going to go without a hitch." He glanced over at Charlie, who was talking to his dad. Alfie scowled at one point, kicking at a piece of rubble. He absolutely _loathed_ Danny, his biological father. Alfie waved Charlie away and set about gathering his border patrol. Charlie returned to Roxy, who was much calmer now Christine was up and about.

"How are you?" Charlie asked Christine. She was holding on to Dylan's arm and managed a weak smile.

"I told you your wedding was going to go out with a bang."

"Mmm, she's making terrible puns. I think she's got a concussion." Charlie rubbed at his jaw thoughtfully.

"No, I've just been hanging around you too much."

"Granted. You alright, mate?" Dylan nodded. "Roxy?"

"I'm fine. What's going on?" Charlie explained gently. "But they're outside the Line, they can't get in."

"And this bomb person?"

"Poof." Roxy grimaced. "I know. But we'll figure out everything that happened and get this all sorted. For now, stay inside the Line and-"

"Oh, the Line. The Line this and the Line that. You do realise that this Line won't stand forever." Roxy clung to Charlie fearfully. No-one in the Hall was speaking. The voice rang out over them all, cold and mockingly playful. "One day we shall get past this Line. Today may not be that day, but can I offer my objections? Alfie, my son, I am ashamed that you have let your firstborn marry a human wench." Alfie snarled a long string of profanities. Danny's laugh bounced around them, cutting into their minds. "Ah, you have your mother's old fire. A shame that left her, really. But I am not here to talk about Violet either. I speak to the human filth you've allowed into your bloodline." Roxy was shaking. Charlie hugged her to him, glaring around. "Human, you are a _pet_. A pity case. I'd have thought my grandson had more wits about him than that, but I suppose he's pathetic enough to _settle down_ with the first piece of ass that takes an interest in him."

"Shut up." Charlie growled. His fists were clenched.

"Charlie…" Jo warned carefully. "Don't listen to him."

"And you had all those sickening _dreams_ to share together. It makes my stomach _churn_. You want _children _with this scum, I don't believe it. You've a noble heritage, Charlie, I can't believe you're about to turn that all down for some _pet project_." Charlie's fingers were digging painfully into Roxy's shoulder. She squeaked his name and he let go entirely, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes shut tight. Jo took two steps forward and hesitated when Danny started speaking again. "You had such potential, Charlie, you've could have done so many great things. And yet you've chosen to squander it away. It's pathetic, it's _weak_. Humans should be nothing more than mere entertainment, they _are_ nothing more than mere entertainment." Charlie was fighting something now, clutching at his head. Roxy moved towards him only to be pulled back by his mother. Danny's voice took on a new tilt, amused, victorious. "You were already a freak among freaks. Now you've dug yourself a hole, a _grave_ even. Don't worry; I'll put your little friend in there too. Mind though, I'm sure she'll be worm food faster than anyone else, humans never really last long. They're far too weak, too stupid. You'll bring about the downfall of your family, you'll _ruin_ their lives. _You _will be their undoing." Danny's words were sharper, directly aimed at Charlie, plunging them into his heart and mind, snapping them along his nerves and patience. "What was it Finn said earlier? You will be the death of you? Wrong. You will be the death of your family. You will watch them _burn_ before you; you will watch them scream and suffer, torn apart by your treachery, the scarlet gems of their lives flowing from their veins and on to _your_ hands. So much red, so much horror, and it will be all. Your. Fault."

"No!" Charlie yelled. Jo herded Roxy, Christine and Dylan further away.

"Charlie!" She pleaded. "No! He's trying to wind you up! You're not endangering anyone! Don't forget who you are!" She blinked and her eyes suddenly glowing soft white, her crimson hair turning the softest and warmest of blues in a heartbeat. When she spoke, her tone was calm, sending a pleasant rush of warmth, assurance and comfort over everyone. "This is what he wants, Charlie. It is what they all want. Do not give in to their ways."

"And why shouldn't he?" Danny challenged. "Why should he not be who he really is?"

"That is not who you really are. You are _Charlie_. You are not what he thinks."

"You know what he is, Light." Danny's voice smirked. "There is no changing that. He was premature, he was unfinished. He was _undecided_. Not like the others, they've all been allocated to a side. Charlie has not. He never will be."

"Jo, what's he talking about?" Roxy whispered.

"Oh, don't you know? I suppose you were never really trustworthy to begin with." Danny laughed again. "Ah, you humans. Your idiocy makes amuses me. Your _husband_," he spat the word as though it were poison, "is not a child of Light as you have been led to believe. He embodies both Light _and_ Darkness. He is the prophecy child. He is the Charge, the Heir. Do not be fooled by his goofy nature, he can rule the world. Or destroy it."


	47. Hybrid

Charlie didn't fight for much longer. He couldn't. It tore Roxy apart to see him pained so and part of her was relieved when it stopped, when he straightened and relaxed. Then he changed. His hair, so unusually but amazingly scarlet, became dappled the deepest of blacks and the blue of Light's; his eyes no longer brown and blue flecks entwined, but a bloody crimson promising fatal omens and its combatant creamy white glow, like a warm hearthly fire. He calmly slid his ripped and dusty jacket off as though he was coming in from a stroll about the park, his tie falling loose seconds later. The majority of the humans had evacuated now. The sensible segment of Roxy screamed at her to leave, to seek shelter, because the _mutants_ looked beyond terror. This wasn't right, not even in their world, their ways. Darkness and Light should never have married in the first place, it didn't add up. And here was the beastly result, able to conquer the world as easily as he could waste it.

Folding up his sleeves, this demonic hybrid that was supposed to be Charlie, eyed them all, one-by-one. He paid no attention to any of his family, gaze sliding past them as it would in a regular walk up the street. His focus shifted over Roxy, but only for a split second. He seemed to start, no expression on that face, eyes locked on her. Roxy squeaked a horrified gasp. Alfie yelled at her to run, he and Jo racing forward to oppose their eldest son. Roxy bundled up the skirts of her dress and took off after the evacuees, hurriedly losing her shoes in the process. She saw nothing of what happened behind her, only heard the sharp, tingling snaps of some unholy power, chills reverberating down her spine and through every nerve and particle of her being.

She rounded the corner, staggering to a stop on her sore feet. Charlie stood there, the Charlie she didn't recognise. She tried his name, her voice cracking in her panic. "Charlie, what's going on? What happened to you? Can you even _hear_ me?" He advanced slowly, Roxy stumbling backwards on her dress. "Charlie! Charlie, please!" His hand closed around her wrist and the scenery changed almost immediately. She didn't recognise where they were, it was just somewhere dim and gloomy. "Charles!" She attempted, half-screaming. "No!"

He let her go, contemplating their surroundings. His eyes seemed to glow brighter in the semi-darkness, taking her in like he had never seen her before. Still, he showed no sign of emotion nor thought, no tension, no hostility. "Charlie, say something! What's the matter? What can I do to help?" A flicker of movement behind him and Roxy bit her lip. Leon slammed full-pelt into Charlie from behind, the two brothers falling into the dirt. Roxy hurried back a few steps, trying to place Leon's arrival.

"Charlie, you dolt! It's me! Leon! Ow! Will you _stop_?" The pair were wrestling and grappling, Leon evading Charlie's attempted fatal attacks, punches and grasps at the throat. "You moron! Are you really going to let that lot into your head? What about us? I'm your _brother_! She's your _wife_! Stop fighting us! Ow!" Roxy frantically scanned the new environment, an old warehouse of some sort, finding a stack of old poles bundled up in cables. She hauled one free, raising it above her head like a bat.

"Charlie!" She ordered. "Get off your brother!" Charlie snarled, pinning Leon by the shoulders. "Now! That's a warning, Charlie! Don't think that I won't!"

"Rox-" Leon started. He cut off, Charlie's fingers clamping about his throat. Roxy swung the pole, a sickening thud as it collided with his shoulder.

"Last chance!" She yelled, readying her weapon once more as he skirted to one side. Leon scrambled to his feet, snatching up his own pole. Charlie rose slowly, features settling into blankness once again. "Now, Charlie! Right now, change back to normal!"

"He can't!" Leon hissed. "That isn't Charlie!"

"What are you talking about? How hard did he hit you in the head?"

"No, what I mean... whatever Dark-Light thing that he's got in _his_ head, it completely shuts down the Charlie part of... Charlie."

"And we're yelling for Charlie because?"

"Because we're optimistic. Hey!" Leon snapped. "Don't you think about it!" He warned his brother. "I can move faster than you can blink, mate! I will whack you so hard, you'll be reeling for a month!"

"Leon!" Roxy scolded under her breath. Charlie started towards her and Roxy swung at him, missing by a foot, but giving him ample warning. "Don't mess!" Roxy challenged. "I mean it! What now?" She added in a whisper. Leon hesitated. "Leon!"

"I don't know! Mum and Dad usually deal with this!"

"How?"

"Um... I'm working on that one. BACK!" He bellowed. He risked a quick glance at his watch. "Now." As the word left his lips, the older half of the Yachtmans arrived, all armed with strange-looking guns.

"No! Don't shoot him!" The pole was flung to the floor and Roxy tackled Charlie to the ground, the bullets whistling over her head.

"Roxy!" Alfie stomped his foot in frustration. "They're trank-darts!" Roxy ignored him, arms crossed over Charlie's chest and staring down at him. He was looking back at her, scanning her face intently, analysing ever detail, the contours and angles, the colour of her eyes, the streaks of dirt, dust and grime, smears of blood. "Roxy, move!" Alfie instructed fiercely. Roxy made no motion of following his order, feeling Charlie's heartbeat against the pulse in her wrist.

"Are you really going to let them do this?" She whispered. "They're going to shoot you, they're going to knock you out. That isn't necessary. We all know it isn't. Look me in the eye and tell me it isn't, tell me you can get this under control. Just... just paint it away, paint over it, it's just a little mistake on the canvas, that's all." He grimaced then. "That's it." Roxy smiled. "Come on, Charlie, come back to me." His eyes narrowed and his hands covered his face. "No, don't hide from me." Roxy said softly, pulling back his fingers. "See, it's just me." She was partially aware of Alfie telling the others to stand down. "I won't hurt you." His lips moved soundlessly, framing her name. "Come on, Charlie."

Charlie slowly blinked, lids growing heavier until his eyes closed entirely. His hair turned from one unnatural state to the other, back to his abnormal normality. "Charlie?" Eyes opened. Blue-brown. Confused.

"Quick question." He croaked. "Why am I lying in a puddle with my wife with my family in a circle aiming guns at me?" Roxy looked up.

"It's more of a triangle than a circle, but-"

"Just a test drill." Alfie cut across. "Surprise!" He smirked. "But seriously, we should go back and clean the mess up."

"So, you did a test drill in the middle of a crisis?"

"Best to test you in an emergency." Jo forced a smile. "Make sure you're definitely on your toes."

"Well, right now, I'm on my back and I've pins and needles in my hands. Roxy, you mind?" Roxy nodded, rising unsteadily, the skirts tangled around her legs. "I don't remember the Hall being this trashed. Wait... this isn't the Hall... is this part of the drill?"

"Yes." Leon decided. "Now we're off to make some more trouble. Feeling up to it?" Roxy helped him to her feet and he flexed his fingers.

"Yep. Roxy, you've torn your dress."

"I'll fix it!" Violet chimed in happily. "But first, Charlie, we need to see if any cake survived." Before her grandson could say anything, Violet grabbed his arm and they vanished with a puff of smoke.

"Right, Roxy." Alfie said, suddenly all business. "We've explained the whole Dark-Light thing, right?"

"Um... the host side of things."

"Yeah, don't worry about the details. Premature Charlie equals big mess in terms of those, yeah?" Roxy nodded once. "Only comes out in big, bad circumstances. Has gotten worse as he's gotten older. He gets the gist of what is going on with the mix thing, but he doesn't know it takes over sometimes, never remembers. We keep it that way. Especially now we know about those tablets, we can't let him go off the rails, not again."

"Again?" Roxy echoed absently. "What do you mean?"

"What he means," Jo answered, "is that Charlie _has_ fallen too far in. If it hadn't been for Violet, we'd have never got him back. We wouldn't even be here right now, not any of us. We don't have time to explain everything now, we have to get back and help the others. We'll talk about this later. Say _nothing_ to Charlie. Is that clear?" Roxy nodded. "Good. Hands." Jo said. The mutants joined hands, guns vanishing. Roxy hesitated. "Roxy." Jo looked her dead in the eye. "I know you've joked about marrying into craziness and maybe it is more crazy than you realised. But you're the first person to ever pull him out of that without magic or medicine. He _needs_ you, more than you realise, way more than _he_ even realises. You saw how he was when you left the first time. Please don't do that to him again." Roxy clenched her jaw stubbornly.

"You may all be completely off your rockers, off your trolleys, away with the fairies, whatever the phrase, I don't care. I married Charlie for a reason; you really think I'm just going to throw that away for a bit of broken hocus-pocus?" Alfie and Jo shared glances, small smiles lifting the corners of their lips.

"Yeah, she's good." Alfie grinned.

"I told you."


	48. Wedding night BEHAVE

"Charlie?" Roxy looked over at her husband. They had literally just arrived at the hotel for the night before setting off in the morning for their honeymoon. Charlie was sitting on the bed, making himself a nest out of the immense amount of pillows and cushions available. He looked up at his name, giving a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm a bird now. Are you alright? You've been very quiet since Dad's little training exercise." He paused, examining a round cushion. "Well, today's been a very topsy-turvy day, I don't know what to make of it. I hope Vi and Damian figure out that explosion. And get together. We've been trying to get them together for years."

"Yeah, I know. But you haven't answered my question."

"Neither have you."

"Mutants are the most confusing creatures to ever walk this earth."

"And there I was, thinking it was women. What's with that look?" Roxy narrowed her eyes and frowned. "No, not that look. I mean the... you want to ask me something but don't think you should look."

"Charlie, I was talking to your parents today and... well, they said you sometimes get memory blanks. Is that true?" Charlie scratched at his chin, deciding to put the round cushion to his left, smoothing the silk tentatively. "It's not something that happens often, is it?"

"Sometimes it can, mostly it doesn't." He shrugged, inspecting his plush creation. "I don't know why, really, it just crops up from time to time. Finn said-"

"Finn?"

"The Medi-Mutant?"

"Oh, right. What did he say?"

"He said it's probably because I keep hitting my head a lot. Knocked a few more things out of line and such." He hunched his shoulders, stuck his tongue out and went cross-eyed. "But anyway," he continued, switching to normal looks, "if it was important, I'd remember it, right?"

"Yeah. Right."

"You don't look convinced."

"It's just been a long day."

"You can say that again. Look! I even made room for you in the nest! Which reminds me, did Vi fix your dress up OK?"

"I don't know how a pillow nest reminds of you my dress, but yes, she did. It looks like new. She's taken it for now, said she would put it somewhere safe."

"Let's hope Damian knows where that is. Violet has a habit of putting things in 'safe' places, but never remembers where."

"So that's where you got it from." He smiled sweetly, shifting over and patting the spot next to him. Roxy, in an old T-shirt of his, hopped onto the bed, nearly drowning in the furs and linen. "Just because we're sitting in a nest does not mean we are birds."

"Oh, we're birds. Lovebirds. Ba dum t- ow! Ow, ow, ow! I won't do it, I'm sorry, please release the hair, it's very precious. Grew it myself." He added once she'd let go. Roxy rolled her eyes with a short exhale. Charlie beamed. "Do you ever wear your own pyjamas anymore?" He asked, plucking at the sleeve of her stolen attire. "I mean, yay! You're wearing my stuff! But, hey! You're wearing _my_ stuff!" Roxy simply raised a brow at him. "Vi started the weirdness in the family. It's not my fault. Genetics."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm sorry about earlier." He said after a moment's silence. "Today was meant to be the best day of your life-"

"Our lives."

"Our lives." He corrected. "But it got ruined."

"By those... what do you call them? Hive?"

"Five. They have their own name for them, but no-one uses it except them."

"Is it that bad?"

"It's just corny. And they keep changing it. It gets cornier and cornier, so they're the Five. Yet... they did ruin things. They hate not being the centre of attention."

"Sounds like a stereotypical blonde teenage girl to me. Like, _really_ stereotypical." Charlie nodded in agreement, eyes wide and dead serious. "I still don't get how you're all linked though."

"Through Vi."

"Now she's the centre of attention."

"The centre of trouble more like. OK, so we have Hunter or David as he was originally called. He's Vi's dad. You've got Danny or Asshole as we call him, Dad's biological dad. Horrible business between him and Vi, nasty nasty stuff." Roxy grimaced and shook her head slightly. "You've got Samsung. Caksung, he's Caksung. We just call him Samsung 'cos it annoys him. He's Danny's dad. How many is that? David, Asshole, Samsung... oh and Jane. She's Danny's girlfriend and Vi's cousin on her dad's side."

"That's four."

"So it is. The fifth one is literally just called Five. We never see him, never fight him. Or her, actually. We know next to nothing about them except the fact that they're the head honcho of the group. Like, David is the leader, but Five is the _leader_ leader."

"Right. Is that Danny Ronnie's dad too?"

"Biologically. That is all. Damian was the one there to help raise them. Danny just kept trying to kidnap them and turn them over to Darkness."

"But Alfie-"

"Is the host, yes. He fights for Light though."

"How?"

"I don't know. He gets a lot of aggro for it though."

"From?"

"Dracomav."

"Who is...?"

"Darkness. That's his name. Dracomav. Mutacolian for Darkness."

"Muta-what now?"

"Colian. Mu-ta-co-li-an. Old Mutant language, used for spells and stuff. And I know a few good swear words in it too, but every mutant does." He grinned slyly. "Dad knows some _really_ good ones, absolutely _vicious_. I won't tell you though, they'll make your ears bleed. Metaphorically. Or meta-actually. Depends if Dad is the one saying them or not."

"You've lost me."

"It's a lot to take in." He elbowed her playfully. "You've the rest of your life to get it though! Yay! That was _not_ a sincere enthusiastic yay smile." Roxy pulled at the corners of her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Charlie mimicked and laughed. "And on that note- despite all the disasters of today, happy to be married?" Roxy looked at him, the smile on his face and the worry in those eyes.

"I suppose so."

"That's not helping."

"I know." She smiled. "Of course I am. Just... a little head's-up on the weirdness side of things, alright?"

"I can't make any promises, but I will try." Roxy's phone buzzed. "I thought we were supposed to turn those off?"

"I forgot. Hold on. Ugh, it's Christine."

"What did she say?"

"Christine related things." Roxy said, swivelling about and bowing her head so he wouldn't see her crimson face. Charlie tried reading over her shoulder; Roxy didn't let him: _Hey Mrs Yachtman!_ Christine's text read. _How's the wedding night going, wink wink, nudge nudge, DO IT, I WANT GRANDCHILDREN! _Her phone buzzed again halfway through writing a reply. _I MEANT NIECES AND NEPHEWS, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID GRANDCHILDREN, VERY BIG WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE_!

_GO AWAY,_ Roxy fired back, _THAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS, STOP BEING SO CHRISTINE!_

_THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE! I SHALL LEAVE YOU NOW, DON'T DISAPPOINT ME! I SHALL BE VERY UPSET IF THERE ISN'T ANY BABY NEWS THIS TIME NEXT MONTH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?_

_UNFORTUNATELY, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!_

_OOOOH, ALONE, EH?_

_CHRISTINE, I WILL MURDER YOU! _

_NAH, YOU LOVE ME TOO MUCH. NIGHT NIGHT, MY ICKLE HOBO! _

_YOU LOON, NAFF OFF. _

Roxy switched her phone off, sighing in relief.

"So, what did Christine want?" Charlie questioned, rearranging his pillow wall.

"Oh, she's just being Christine, you know what she's like." He hummed, distracted by his creation. "She wants grandchildren." Roxy tested. Charlie raised his head slighty, brow furrowed in utter confusion. "Nieces and nephews." Roxy elaborated. "She's in a weird mood." He glanced at her over his shoulder, piecing together a response in his mind, a very careful and delicate response.

"Roxy... I know we talked about... children and... the whole half-mutant baby situation deal, but... well, if you're not, you know... ready, I can- saying that though, I'm absolutely terrified."

"I never thought I'd hear a guy say that." She moved closer, looping her arm around his shoulders. "Charlie Yachtman, have you gone shy?"

"Maybe..."

"Ah, my lil' bubba boo!" Roxy cooed teasingly, throwing her other arm up and laughing. "Charlie, you do make me laugh."

"I was actually being serious that time, good lord Seltik." Roxy continued to giggle. "You're really not helping."

"I'm sorry. That tickled me. Oh god, I sound like Christine. Ugh." She shook her head, pushing her hair from her face. "OK, Charlie? I will be serious with you. I know that... that is expected and all, typical idea of a wedding night and all that and yes, that... I would like children. With you." She added at his searching look for confirmation. "Do you think I'd have married you if it wasn't you?"

"You only wanted to marry me for the children? Am I that much of an amazing partner? Your smarts and my charming good looks, is that it?"

"If that's what floats your goat, yeah."

"Sweet."

"Can I finish talking now?"

"Yeah, sorry. Sorry." Roxy sighed.

"It's a big step, I know, and it terrifies me too. I'll just be happy that I'm with you and I think that's all that matters." He blinked at her, a wide smile slowly spreading across his face. Roxy's face felt a million degrees hot, but she smiled too. "You big dork." She planted a quick kiss on his lips and then hid her burning face in his shoulder, hearing and feeling the rumble of laughter in his chest. He embraced her eagerly, a very _Charlie _hug, bubbly, warming, seclusive, as though it was them and only them, his attention all on her as though nothing else could ever pull them apart.


	49. Contraction Simulator

**Little heads up with this chapter, my friend's idea- men having simulated contractions, just wanted to put Charlie through that, you know, nice as I am, yay! :D**

* * *

"Hey, Roxy, I just saw the most _incredible _thing-"

"Half-price shoes?"

"No! Unfortunately… but something even better! You know how men are all, like, ugh, childbirth, piece of pie." Roxy hummed. "Well, I just saw this thing and it simulates contractions for men and PLEASE GET CHARLIE TO DO IT, I WILL PAY YOU!" Roxy let the idea simmer in her mind, her smile growing more and more pleased with each second. "GET IT ON CAMERA TOO, I WANT TO SEE THAT!"

"OK. Hold on… CHARLIE!"

"I'm here, stop yelling." He winced, rubbing at his ears. "What does Christine want now?"

"She had this idea-"

"A REALLY AMAZING IDEA!"

"That you should let us hook you up with a contraction simulator."

"A what now?" Roxy explained, cruelly relishing in the horror that slowly spread across his features. "So, yeah. Feel up to it, Mister I-want-twenty-six kids."

"Twenty-four." He corrected automatically. "One for each letter of the alphab-wait, wait, _wait_." He shook his head. "That's a _thing_?" Roxy nodded, smiling smugly. "No, I don't think I need to, I get that childbirth and contractions are... a very big ow. Have you seen how many siblings I have? That's... don't give me that look, I am not... ugh, fine." Christine, still on the other end of the phone, squealed excitedly.

"ROXY, WHATEVER FACE YOU PULLED, REMEMBER IT! ABUSE THE POWER OF WIFEHOOD! I'M GOING TO BOOK THE APPOINTMENT, CALL YOU LATER!" She hung up. Charlie had his hands over his ears.

"Does she have to be so loud _all_ the time?"

"Charlie, meet Christine. A walking talking amplified gob on legs." She pocketed her phone, victorious. "Contractions for you! Oh yeah!"

"But you don't know what they feel like either, you should do it too! Like... preparation or something."

"No. See, the thing is, dear husband, is that I will have to go through it myself in _real life_ whereas you will be in a simulated situation and won't experience the full extent of the pain. You've so many siblings, I'm sure you know the finer details of childbirth. Not to mention the pregnancy beforehand, but think about it. The baby has to move from the womb to the-" He was shaking his head, plugging his ears and 'la-la-la'-ing loudly. Roxy simply raised her voice. "Imagine pushing something the size of a melon out of something the size of a lemon!"

"La la la la la la!"

"Something you've carried for nine months! Don't forget all the limbs and that, contours of the human body after all!"

"Not listening, can't hear you, la la la la- ow, ow, ow..." Roxy had grabbed his hands and bent his fingers back. "OK, OK, I understand. But I'm not some unsympathetic jerk who knocks childbirth aside like it's some walk in the park."

"Yes, but you're my husband and if you loved me and appreciated me, you'd do it." He stared at her, cornered. He tried to formulate an argument, gawping like a fish. His shoulders eventually slumped in defeat and he nodded. Roxy beamed and hugged him. "I'm going to love every second of this."

* * *

"Michael, why do you even have one of these?"

"Because they're funny."

"Oh, so you've been tortured by these things?"

"Once. Violet got me." Michael shrugged. "It's taught me a valuable lesson, something I think all men should learn too. Keep still, Charlie, Seltik dammit. Don't look so worried. Your mum got your dad after... Mitchell, I think it was. That's why the younger ones are so spaced out age-wise."

"Why did Vi put you in this?" Roxy gestured at her new favourite piece of technology.

"I needed her help with something after Ronnie was born and she wasn't happy with me. She put me to sleep and woke me up with a good dosage of this. See there? It's on a scale of one to ten, ten being the most painful it can be. Of course, I've had to adjust it to work around a mutant's high pain threshold-"

"_What_?" Charlie protested. Roxy shushed him. Michael ignored him.

"-that way, he gets an accurate idea for what it would be like for any woman. Particularly his wife." Michael nodded at Roxy, grinning. "Charlie, she's just what you needed. Someone to keep you grounded. In reality."

"I like reality. Just not this reality." Michael flipped a switch and the machine started to buzz gently. Charlie muttered something in a language Roxy didn't recognise, but Michael must have as he scolded him for it, _If your mother heard you say that..._

"Would you care to do the honours?" He asked Roxy, gesturing to the control button beside him. Roxy checked the camera was all set on the tripod and smiled angelically at her husband.

"The honour is all mine."

"Roxy, this is not in sickness and in heal- holy duck in a cornfield, _ow_!" Charlie jolted, trying to scramble away from the electrodes. Michael snapped his fingers and restraints locked around Charlie's wrists and ankles. Charlie swore at him in Russian. Roxy pressed the switch again, tears of laughter springing to her eyes as he convulsed and cursed the snake in the grandfather clock. Michael was smiling to himself.

"Mutants have a weird vocabulary under electrical influence. Flaws their senses, it's quite amusing really."

"Why don't humans do that?"

"Your nervous system isn't as wired or as sensitive as ours. Especially a full-blood mutant like Charlie. We're born and bred to be fighters, we need that extra sensitivity to get our instincts working. There's a whole science behind it, I won't bore you now. Zap him again."

"With pleasure."

"No, wait- you son of a hulking jammy dodger, goose feather in kilometre!" Charlie twisted, head against the pillow and spewing jargon in a string of various languages. Michael translated a few of the words, too busy laughing to give her full sentences. He leant over and switched the power up to four. Roxy pushed her thumb down on the button, making her beloved lunatic jump and thrash against his restrictions, a tirade of hysteria tumbling from his lips in his wide range of languages. She let go the button, hysterical, doubling over in a feeble attempt to catch her breath. Charlie was watching her, confused and hurting. "Very big ow..." He muttered.

"Indeed." Roxy agreed breathlessly.

They went through five, six, seven and eight with building humour and blackmail. Roxy had to sit on the floor, legs shaking too much to hold her up anymore. Michael had sat on one of the other beds, snickering into his hand. "Bucket of fudge sticking donkey biscuits, ow! No!"

"One more!" Roxy wheezed. She nodded at Michael, who shook his head slowly.

"You are a cruel, _cruel_ woman."

"This is payback for all those stupid pranks." Michael skipped nine and went straight to ten. Charlie noticed partially in his delirium, trying to sit up. "Ah." Roxy waved the remote at him and he froze, despairing. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"No alphabet children."

"So how many?"

"Twenty-three." Roxy smacked the button. Charlie proceeded to tug on the restraints, straining, fists clenched, twisting this way and that in any attempt to abate the pain. Instead, he began to insist he was 'dying, dying, _dying_!', tense from head to toe, visibly shattered and drained beyond all reason. Roxy smiled to herself. "However many you want, just... never again, I'm sorry, I'll be good."

"Michael, I want one of these for Christmas."

"I thought you might." Michael smiled. Charlie groaned in defeat and slumped backwards. "He'll be fine. Give him a few days to get his head around that."

"It's a shame they haven't simulated the rest of childbirth." Roxy mused aloud. Charlie's head popped back up, aghast. Michael nodded seriously, playing along. "That would be even better to watch, don't you think?"

"I'll work on it right away."

"I'm calling my lawyer!"

"You don't have a lawyer!"

"Violet can be!"

"She's a lawyer?"

"No." Michael sighed. "No, she's the spokeswoman of all mutants. She's in court alot, but that does not make her a lawyer, Charlie, we've been over this!"

"Everything hurts..."

"Well done, Sherlock."

"There is no end to this suffering..."

"Oh please." Roxy scoffed, handing the remote back. "It's not like you actually gave _birth_, that's just the run-up to it."

"_What_?" Michael removed the restraints with a click of his fingers. Charlie started to remove the electrodes before either one of them could reinstate his slow demise. "After all that and _nothing_? There's still more to go?"

"I thought you knew all about that, considering the surplus of siblings you've got." Michael admitted.

"Yeah, but... no, no, that is... women are... oh, what's the phrase now? Metal? Women are metal as hell. I don't know if that's the phrase, don't hold me to it, but Seltik dammit, I will never walk again."

"You big baby, get up! I'm hungry after all that! And we've got to take the video to Christine."

"Only if Dylan goes through this too."

"Agreed."

"Right. Come back in a few years to get me."

"Ugh, _men_. Such drama queens!"

"Hey." Michael argued jokingly. "Not all mean are drama queens. Some of us are drama kings."

"Yeah, you're just a jester." Charlie propped himself up on his elbows, wincing. "I am a victim of the modern day plague."

"You really are a big baby."

"No, but it feels like I just had one."


End file.
